u/LearningLeft

To keep the story short and sweet, I was recently diagnosed with autism while living with my ex girlfriend. We were on really good terms, but part of my masking as an autistic person was extreme people pleasing. This was basically killing me, so I had to start putting my foot down and setting boundaries. The boundaries I set with my ex were pretty standard accommodations for the autism. Quiet time after midnight, an hour heads up when people were coming over, the ability to walk away from conversations if I was feeling a meltdown coming on, etc….

The last thing was a request that my ex starts to pay back the debt she owes me. In total this debt adds up to 1400 dollars after paying portions of her rent and the entire security deposit.

Following that conversation, she became a completely different person. She began to go out of her way to break the boundaries and claimed that she didn’t owe me any money because she does more of the chores (I struggle to do some of the chores because I’m having to work beyond my capacity to ensure both my and her rent are getting paid)

She has started using my autistic meltdowns against me, knowing that I have a flight response to conflict and will usually try to run away to have a meltdown alone. She has started blocking my ability to leave confrontations and will continue to berate me so that she can record me having the meltdown on her phone.

During these meltdowns where she was obviously recording me I did call her an asshole and a monster, but in my defense she was literally chasing me around the house to yell at me and call me a lazy sack of shit after a 10 hour shift.

A few days ago at work my mom called me to say that my ex called her along with anyone else who will listen to falsely accuse me of emotional and psychological abuse. She is now saying that I can either pay her a chunk of cash to get off the lease or she will get a restraining order. I’m worried that the audio recordings of me crying and calling her an asshole would make me look horrible in court, so I may be stuck paying my way out even if she doesn’t actually have proof of any abuse.

In the meantime she is using the presence of her father to keep me away from the apartment. This father is prone to violence and has said vaguely threatening things to me and others before (I used to work at a bar where he was a regular that would start fights all the time)

I believe she is doing this because she knows she can’t pay me back and just doesn’t want to live with a person who she has to make any accommodations for.

I’m probably stuck paying her the money she wants so I can get off the lease and just be done with everything, but I’m really kicking myself in the ass for being in a 3 year relationship with her. Idk if I missed warning signs because of the autism, but if I did idk if I can trust myself in future relationships.

22 male looking for new friends

Male 22 looking for long term friendships

Being manipulated by my ex