u/LeathalLeah

Yep, another “Hey guys I just moved to Philly and I’m looking for things to do and explore” post. 26M. Recently just moved here from NC. Not new to the north or the east coast, but it has been over a decade since I lived here. Really into music (metal/hiphop/jazz), would love to get into painting, book clubs, anything artsy really. One of the reasons why I moved here was to reset my social life as where I was before was nonexistent. Feel free to comment on the post or DM me things going on or where newbies should go. Thank you for the help in advance.

I’m not gonna lie to you guys. Sometimes I read your posts and I’m jealous. My ex and I dated off and on for about 10 years. It wasn’t perfect, I mean what high school to young adult relationship ever is? But basically the end of the relationship goes like this: the last couple of months she becomes more and more distant to the point where I’m asking if I did something wrong blah blah. She eventually comes out and says she’s been talking to someone for a while and didn’t know how to tell me. I quickly say cool and to not speak to me anymore… and that was it. No call, no text, no random profile requesting follows or friends…. Nothing. I recently logged back into my long deactivated and dead Facebook profile and what is the first thing I see? Her profile with her new man with the caption “I love here. Never treated better”. And so that was it. 10 years to lead to being thrown away like I was nothing. I’m probably not even a thought in her head. Yet here I was not necessarily “waiting” but having a small hope that maybe she would show some sort of “care” about me, but no. So yeah sometimes they don’t come back. They don’t stalk, they don’t harass, they don’t care. Sometimes you were the stepping stone and you have to accept it.

Just want to vent because like the title states I’m really going through it. I really want a friend. I really want a social circle. I really want romance. All things your average human in their 20s should be able to get at minimal effort but it’s so challenging for me. Not only that I’m at the point in life where I’m able to connect the dots between childhood experiences, traumas, and missteps that lead me to this lonely existence, and damn it’s like I never really had a chance. I’m not gonna give you a novel of my life but it just sucks that so many factors self inflected and uncontrollable are the reason I will probably never find friends, love, or connection of any sorts. I feel like I’m the only person who misses school, not because “before responsibilities” but because it was the last time I really socialized with people. Like yeah there’s work but there isn’t this forced nature of socialization at work. So yeah I might talk to a coworker about the weather but there’s no feeling of “making this a connection”, just the same energy of asking an employee where something is at in a store you know? I’m really trying. I moved to a new city, I’m looking for volunteer roles, I’m looking at game shops that hold card competitions just ANYTHING that could result in some type of social life.