u/Leather-Tailor-7240

A little bg:

28F here. I recently started dating someone from hinge and he is of the same age. We started the conversation saying that we will need to get married and first see how things are and then we'll decide how things will go ahead etc etc. One month down I saw his mobile notification lighting up with hinge notification while he said that we will be exclusive and we won't be talking to anyone else, he was doing that so I decided to forgive because at that time I was also not sure about him. But then I told him that we actually were going on a trip. I was introducing him to my inner Circle and so was he. But recently I still felt like I cannot trust him because he was always on his phone but never actually saw my reels that I sent him. But always on the phone watching Instagram I decided to create a fake account. Honest time message him and he literally replied back saying that he's looking for someone to settle with in this city and explore the city because he doesn't feel like home while I was sitting and cleaning and cooking for him at his place.. The flirting went like we will meet for ice cream etc. I decided to take it to the next level by asking him whether we will end up at his place or my place where he stopped the fake account saying that it was nice talking to you and I was not actually looking for anything of that type. I was looking for someone to explore the city with. So this was the second time I was seeing him flirting with someone because before that in hinge also he was flirting with some other girl the time I caught him.

My question:

What shall I do in this case? I want to make sure that I am not actually getting heartbroken again because after years of therapy I was able to get out of my 15-year relationship when I almost got married and when I am trying to move on now this person is making me feel like I am trusting a wrong person right now. Somehow he is triggering the wounds that I was healing.

I wouldn't say he's not doing anything for me. He's doing everything that a partner should be doing but while doing the same he's also talking to other people whether to seek his validation or to get some ego boost. I don't know about it but he is doing that and nowadays whenever I ask him to meet he's either busy with work or he is always busy with something at his home. We do have video calls. We don't have audio calls so I do verify that he is at home but I don't want to be a detective. I want to be a partner but it is not happening anytime soon because of the things that I have seen in the last few days, how will I trust him? What shall I do?

PS Right now I am not talking to him anymore and taking some time off as he is 'busy with work commitments' and i am not looking for anyone here. I need some advice and some genuine friends in this city. Idk whom to ask about here.

I 27F started dating this guy 30M from the hinge. Everything was too good to be true as per my views about relationships but I thought I was being paranoid nothing else. A few days later he went to his family place and he came back after 2 and a half weeks. We were crazy so after doing what we wanted he slept and I just saw a ping on his phone lock screen it was from hinge(some random girl) i couldn't sleep but when he woke up i confronted him and his reply was "i never replied to her after i came back from home" "idk why i tried talking(flirting )to her" I decided to forgive and just continue because i was anyways busy declining other guys at that point. Fast forward to 2 weeks later he told me his company is laying off people and he is worried and stressed so he needs time and space to prepare for a job switch and of course the current company has a load of work for him. I said fine. Our meetings are reduced from daily to 2 times a week.Now randomly i dropped at his place and said i wanna stay here cause my flatmate is an inconvenience for me. He said no issue. But he was too busy on his phone to look at me for 3 entire days. 3 days later when i was leaving his place i told him that i feel he is emotionally disconnected from me and i can sense it and he said its just work load.

Note: He showed my picture to his mom, introduced me to his sis and told his entire family bg sad story on how he is the sole earner and if he loses his job he will go crazy. His family sent me goodies and gifts too. Funny thing is i never believed all this. My gut said it is too good to be true.

During all this I created a fake account on Instagram (his ac is public) to chat with him. Basic flirting copy pasted from chatgpt. He got that and even informed me over vc that some random fake girl is msging me. Pure copy paste from chat gpt etc. I laughed it out and told must be your ex. He laughed. I kept talking over there on the fake ac with him. He is flirting very smoothly. There is even a plan to meet for ice cream late at night. Idk what to do now. Whom should i send? I need to catch him in the act at the place( if he doesn't confess he has a girlfriend already)

Help me out here please 🥺