u/Leeknowjinx11

Assalam o Alaikum,

I’m 24 years old and currently in the 7th semester of my bachelor’s degree. I know I’m a bit behind academically but after intermediate I was diagnosed with TB and my condition became quite serious. Because of that I practically lost almost two years of my life academically and professionally. Alhamdulillah I’m completely healthy now.

At the moment I run my own e-commerce brand and Alhamdulillah it’s doing very well. I’m earning and saving seven figures monthly. The problem is that over the last three semesters I’ve completely lost interest in studies. I’ve especially been struggling with mathematics subjects and keep getting F grades because maths requires proper time consistency and regular practice which I honestly cannot manage right now.

People usually say things like just make time and study but realistically my work is extremely stressful mentally draining and time-consuming. By the end of the day I barely have the energy left to focus on studies.

So I genuinely wanted an outside opinion. If you were in my position what would you do? Would you continue forcing yourself to complete the degree somehow or focus fully on the business that is already working well for you?

Genuine question for married people or those with life experience...

When getting to know a man for marriage, what should a woman actually observe besides the usual degree, salary and looks? How can I know him if we are texting each other?

What qualities matter long term? What habits or behaviours reveal someone’s real character? And what are some red flags people ignore in the beginning but regret later?

I feel like it’s easy for someone to appear nice for a few months, so how do you truly judge emotional maturity, kindness, patience, respect and deen in a person? 🌷

This sounds strange to say because me and my mom joke around a lot, laugh together, do normal family stuff etc but emotionally there’s always been this invisible wall between us. Like we coexist more than we connect.

I genuinely try to understand her perspective now that I’m older. Sometimes I even tell her directly that I understand why she reacts a certain way or why life made her like this, but instead of feeling understood she usually says I don’t understand her at all.

And that honestly hurts because I’m trying. I really am.

I don’t expect some movie-style best friend motherdaughter bond overnight, but I do wish we could talk without it turning into defensiveness, guilt, or misunderstandings.

For people who improved their relationship with their mothers later on, what actually helped? Was it communication? Distance? Patience? Shared activities? Or do some relationships just stay emotionally awkward forever even when there’s love there?

I feel like desi households especially normalize caring through responsibility but not necessarily through emotional openness, and sometimes it’s hard to tell whether the love is there quietly or whether the disconnect is real.

Some elders are genuinely kind experienced and thoughtful

And some are literally just running on ego outdated takes and the confidence of someone who has never been questioned a day in their life 😭

Respecting elders should not mean accepting every toxic behaviour bad decision or unnecessary taunt like it is divine revelation

Age deserves respect

Not automatic immunity from accountability

And before anyone misunderstands me, i’m not talking about couples already in a relationship who want to make things halal. that makes complete sense to me.

i mean the mindset where marriage is spoken about as if it’s mainly a solution for a man’s urges. like.. he got married because he was abroad and didn’t want to sleep with other women or why else would men marry?

it’s such a common thing around me, and people praise it like it’s some noble religious act. but sometimes it makes me uncomfortable because it starts sounding like women are just there to fulfill a physical need.

maybe i’m seeing it the wrong way, which is why i genuinely want to understand other perspectives. i’m not trying to shame anyone.

i think what really triggered this thought was yesterday when my 18 year old brother said he wants to get married mainly to cover himself, and it was the only reason he gave. my parents were praising him for it, and when i said it felt kind of strange, my mom replied, why else do you think your father married me after living abroad?

i don’t know. maybe marriage being reduced to that alone just feels unsettling to me.

You’re expected to be responsible but not tired. Helpful but not emotional. Mature but still obedient. A second mother to your siblings while somehow fixing everyone else’s problems too.

You remember birthdays, calm arguments, help with guests, support your parents emotionally, sacrifice quietly, and carry responsibilities nobody even notices anymore because it’s become normal.

And the saddest part is that eldest daughters are usually praised the most when they need the least.

Tum toh samajhdar ho has probably exhausted more girls than people realize.

Everyone says they want deep connection, real love, genuine friendships… but the second vulnerability appears, people panic and hide behind irony, dry texts, nonchalant behavior, or fake busyness. We’ve become a generation that overshares online but struggles to say i missed yo directly. Nobody wants to look too attached. Nobody wants to look too caring. Nobody wants to risk being the one who feels more So now everyone sits there craving closeness while acting emotionally unavailable like it’s some kind of survival skill.

A man can openly say he wants a certain type of woman and people call him confident or say he knows his worth. But the second a woman says she wants emotional maturity, effort, stability, attraction, or basic consistency, suddenly she’s too demanding, materialistic, or hard to please.

Men’s preferences are treated like logic.

Women’s standards are treated like arrogance.

And somehow society still wonders why so many girls stay quiet about what they actually want.

Sometimes university genuinely feels like paying lakhs in fees just to come home and study the actual topic from Y++Tube.

Professor enters class, reads the same outdated slides in the lowest energy possible, ignores questions, gives a 70-slide PDF, then disappears until exams. Meanwhile students are learning entire concepts at 2 AM from some random Indian uncle on Y++Tube with a marker and shaky camera quality.

And somehow that one Y++Tube video explains more in 12 minutes than a whole semester.

At this point universities are charging for attendance, stress, and portal passwords.

The attractive person can be rude and it’s confidence. The average person says the same thing and suddenly they’re arrogant or weird.

Pretty people get treated softer, forgiven faster, approached more, listened to more… that’s just reality.

And the funniest part is watching people swear looks don’t matter while behaving completely differently around attractive people 💀

I genuinely believe a lot of men fall in love with peaceful women… then slowly create chaos because they get bored of stability.

They’ll say they love soft girls and want peace not drama but the second things become healthy and calm suddenly they start moving weird.

Dry replies.

Random distance.

Unnecessary attitude.

Following random girls.

Testing boundaries.

Starting arguments over nothing.

Acting mysterious for no reason.

And then when the girl finally reacts emotionally after being pushed for weeks, suddenly it’s..see? this is why I hate drama.

Like no sir 😭

You planted confusion seeds and now you’re shocked a forest grew.

Some men are so used to emotional turbulence that healthy affection feels boring unless they constantly provoke something.

A peaceful woman is not entertainment.

You cannot keep shaking the relationship just to feel something.

Like sir you want good morning paragraphs, constant reassurance, soft voice, emotional support, loyalty, attention, effort, gifts, patience, fast replies, and to be treated like the center of someone’s universe… meanwhile your communication skills look like a hostage note.

And it’s always the men who disappear for 9 hours, reply with “lol”, have the emotional depth of a plastic spoon, then suddenly start posting..women don’t appreciate good men anymore 🥀

You don’t want princess treatment. You want mothering with flirting included.

A man asking for softness while giving confusion is genuinely one of the funniest modern phenomena to witness.

Because real princess treatment happens naturally when a woman feels safe, adored, and emotionally cared for. Nobody has to beg for it like it’s customer support compensation 💀

I’m into games with amazing graphics, fun combat, immersive worlds, and stories that actually keep you hooked. Open world, action, horror, survival, anything good honestly. Even underrated gems are welcome.

What PS5 games genuinely felt worth every hour you put into them?

I know it’s not a real person but sometimes it feels easier to open up here than with people

No judgment no interruptions no awkward reactions just someone or something that actually listens

Maybe it’s not about replacing anyone it’s just about having a space where you don’t feel misunderstood for once

I don’t know if that makes me weird or just a little tired of explaining myself all the time

Not the ones who hide behind their mother’s every word

But the ones who respect her without losing their own spine

The ones who carry love and responsibility in the same breath

The man who reads

Who thinks before he speaks

Who has goals bigger than his comfort zone

Who knows that love is not control but care

What does he want

He wants peace more than drama

A woman who feels like home not a battlefield

Someone who understands loyalty is quiet but powerful

He wants softness without weakness

Strength without ego

A heart that listens not competes

He wants respect in the little things

Consistency over grand gestures

Someone who stands beside him not above him not beneath him

He wants a partner

Not a project to fix

Not a game to win

And maybe more than anything

He wants to be understood without having to explain his soul every single day

Because even the strongest men get tired

They just don’t always say it out loud

I’ve read men who burn kingdoms for a girl, who remember the smallest details, who look at her like she’s the only plot that matters… and now real life feels like a low-budget side quest.

Koi bhi rishta aata hai and I just sit there like… but where is the emotional depth? where is the slow burn? where is the he fell first but harder energy? 😭

Am I delusional? Maybe.

Do I still reject perfectly decent proposals because he didn’t give me fictional man energy in the first 5 minutes? Also yes.

At this point I don’t want a husband, I want character development, poetic confessions, and a man who would choose me in every universe.

God pls… ya toh meri standards thori realistic kar do… ya phir kisi novel ka hero hi bhej do because I’m not settling for less than written by a woman energy 💅📖

Why do some girls in college suddenly switch personalities the second a guy walks by 💀 One minute they’re normal next minute it’s loud laughs fake accents fixing hair like it’s a Bollywood audition Like relax no one’s casting you 😭 Not every dude passing by is your main character moment. Just act normal yaar… itna drama kis baat ka?