u/Legal_Butterfly_1463

I’ve been changing my appearance a lot based on what I think other people will like or what I think looks “best,” rather than what I actually want. The problem is, I don’t really know what I want anymore.

Over the past while, I went from long brown hair down my back to chopping it off, then compulsively bleaching it around 12 times trying to get it to the “right” shade of blonde. I ended up with chemical burns and was in a lot of pain. I spent over $1200 fixing the damage and trying to restore my hair health and tone.

Now I’m looking back at photos of my natural long brown hair and I feel a really strong urge to dye it back. At the same time, I feel triggered by comments people make, what I think is “in style,” and even just seeing old photos or new ones where I think my hair looks bad.

It feels like I can’t win. When I had brown hair I struggled now with blonde I struggle, then people say they like it better brown and some say blonde..I keep showing up to places with my hair changing constantly, and I feel visibly insecure and unstable about it. I just want to feel like myself and feel settled, but I don’t know what that actually is ANYMORE.

Part of me thinks I should just go back to brown and leave it natural, but I’m also worried that would just be feeding another compulsion instead of actually solving the underlying issue.

How do you figure out what you actually want when everything feels influenced by outside opinions and obsessions?

I kinda like my short blonde hair but some people tell me they like it brown and long better and it hurts my feelings especially when I didn't ask their opinion. My girlfriends all love the blonde but Idk anymore. I feel so dejected.

I’ve noticed I’m usually into more nerdy/dorky guys quieter, homeschool vibes, accountant/IT type personalities, etc. But I keep running into the same issue where they almost never make the first move with me or wait a long time to finally ask me out then are obsessed.

In past relationships, I’ve basically had drop extremely obvious hints before anything happened. Then later they’ll tell me they “never thought they had a chance” or were surprised I was interested in them at all.

Is that actually true for some guys, or is it kind of an excuse? Like genuinely, how many hints does a woman need to drop before a guy realizes she’s into him?

There’s a guy I like right now who definitely fits that quieter/dorkier type, but I’m getting frustrated because I feel like I’m once again the one trying to create opportunities for him to talk to me. What makes it worse is he talks way more to my friend than to me (she’s not interested in him at all), so now I’m second guessing whether he’s actually shy or if he’s just more interested in her which isn't a huge deal everyone has a type just trying to understand all of this.

Part of me is wondering if I should just be more direct and make a move myself, but another part of me is tired of always feeling like I have to “swoop in” first.

I find my stuff melts so fast before I can get onto the next steps. What are your favorite gels for making 3d flowers, cats, etc?

Don't get me wrong I have no problem a customer nit picking things wanting them exactly a certain way and vocalizing it, it's the repetition. My client yesterday kept saying your gonna wipe my nails before right? Why is it sticky don't go on my thumb till it's not sticky. I thought I was going to die. I explained it's supposed to be sticky for a reason and to stop touching them cause that's what's causing the lint too. Please help me with advice when trying to deal with this, I literally am always sanitizing everything and cleaning and she was constantly moving, eating etc.