Kieruję to pytanie do osób, które skończyły kiepskie ich zdaniem studia. Co po nich robicie? Poszliście na inny kierunek, zrobiliście kursy czy może pracujecie w zawodzie? Pytam, bo sam rok temu skończyłem kierunek, którego się wstydzę, i w którym kompletnie siebie nie widzę. Ugrzązłem w słabo płatnej pracy bez pomysłu co dalej.
Hej, mam 26 lat i jestem osobą głupią. Wiem o tym od dawna i całe życie bałem się iść do pracy. Skończyłem turystykę, ale umówmy się, niewiele miało to wspólnego ze studiami. Przez niski iloraz inteligencji czuję, że nie nadaję się do niczego. Zastanawiam się czy jest jakiś kierunek studiów, po którym można przyzwoicie zarabiać a jednocześnie jest on możliwy do ukończenia dla kogoś takiego jak ja. Czy macie jakieś pomysły?
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Hi,
I'm almost 26 years old, and lately I've been thinking a lot about my relationships and social life. It's always been a difficult topic for me, and honestly I don't even know what to think anymore.
To keep it short, until I was around 9 years old I didn't really have any friends and I was mostly rejected by other kids. I didn't like my class. From what I've been told, I wanted to be around people, but for one reason or another I always ended up alone. I had one close friend, although I barely remember that friendship now.
Then we moved, and everything changed. I ended up in a great school and I have very good memories of that... brief period. Second and third grade were great, but things started going downhill in fourth grade. People began picking on me and I wasn't well liked anymore. Looking back, I think it was one of those situations where there's always a kid or a small group that gets picked on. It would stop for a while, then start again, and so on.
The thing is, even after everyone else had moved on, I hadn't. In middle school I still had most of the same classmates, but I had become hostile toward them. Sometimes they would actually invite me to hang out, but I would proudly avoid them. I had a few people around me, but those friendships were shallow and didn't mean much. I also only really spent time with girls because I never felt comfortable around boys, and I was much more hostile toward them.
I never went on any longer school trips. Honestly, I'm glad I didn't, because being forced to visit Prague or Berlin according to a strict schedule would probably have just frustrated me and left me feeling like I hadn't really experienced anything. I also never went to school parties, Christmas events, dances, or anything like that. Eventually people stopped inviting me because everyone knew I'd say no. Oddly enough, I felt a certain sense of pride in that.
I have good memories of high school because I made a few nice acquaintances, and there were hardly any boys in my class or people from my previous schools. The only time I really had to deal with them was during PE, which I'd always hated anyway.
One consequence of all this was that I developed social anxiety. Maybe because of that, I was terrified of getting a job and ended up studying tourism, even though it wasn't a good choice. The people at university were nice and I actually liked them, but I was still the only person who didn't socialize with anyone. I didn't feel the need to, and honestly I felt like I had nothing interesting to talk about anyway. I kept conversations strictly related to university, like asking about exam dates.
Unfortunately, studying tourism meant mandatory sports camps. Constant group activities, games, team-building exercises, and social interaction. It was so exhausting for me that I literally counted the days, hours, and even percentages until it was over. To this day I'm surprised that everyone else remembers those camps so fondly.
Right now I'm fairly satisfied with my office job because I barely have to talk to people. Still, I feel like I'm not capable of doing any other kind of work.
This is where the conflict starts. My family says it's because I'm afraid of new things and because of my social anxiety. I, on the other hand, think that my fear of new things comes from a lack of interests and, more importantly, low intelligence. The more I've thought about it, the more it seems to make sense. I don't enjoy trying new things, I don't really have hobbies, I don't like learning, I'm bad at it, and I don't think very logically. Overall, I see myself as a boring, simple-minded person. For over a year now I've believed that the main reason I'm such a failure is simply that I have a low IQ.
So here's my question.
Even if I forced myself to socialize, what would that even look like? I feel like I'm too unintelligent for ordinary people, let alone people who have interesting lives. What would I even talk to them about? The weather?
At the same time, I know I'd feel miserable around people whose only interests are bear and chicks.
I'm jealous of people who have interesting lives. But I feel like I'm too unintelligent, too limited, and too lazy to ever have one myself.
Meanwhile, other people keep telling me that the low IQ thing is just something I've convinced myself of, and that my real problem is my fear of people.
At this point, I honestly don't know what to think anymore. That's probably why I'm writing this.
Hej, rok temu skończyłem "studia" w postaci turystyki i rekreacji i delikatnie mówiąc nie jestem z tego dumny. Kierunek totalnie nietrafiony i nie chcę mieć dziś z nim nic wspólnego. Jestem silnie introwertyczny i nie lubię ludzi. Nie miałem na siebie pomysłu a pracy panicznie się bałem. Już po roku wiedziałem, że podjąłem fatalną decyzję, ale nie miałem pomysłu co w zamian oraz uznałem, że skoro na turystyce mi średnio idzie to jestem zbyt głupi na inny kierunek.
Zaraz minie również rok w mojej pierwszej pracy. Jak na początek nie jest tak źle. Zarobki niewiele powyżej minimalnej, ale za to praca biurowa z luźną atmosferą. Spokój to gigantyczny plus, bo jestem skrajnie podatny na stres. Byłoby super gdyby to było tymczasowe, ale nie widzę żadnej alternatywy.
Oczywiście mógłbym iść na studia, ale nie mam na siebie absolutnie żadnego pomysłu. Całe życie nie byłem szczególnie ciekawy świata a przede wszystkim aktywny. Poprzez "aktywność " mam na myśli próbowanie nowych rzeczy i korzystanie z życia.
Dziś mam prawie 26 lat i mam pustkę w głowie. Czuję, że mam jakieś ambicje, ale nie mam pojęcia co zrobić. Wszystko wydaje się przytłaczające, bez konkretów. Wstydzę się wspominać o swoich studiach czy planach. Znajomi zarabiają całkiem nieźle i radzą sobie lepiej a ja nie mam perspektyw. A przynajmniej tak to często odczuwam.
Co byście zrobili na moim miejscu. Byliście może w podobnej sytuacji i się odbiliście?