u/Legitimate-Tell7345

My girlfriend 29F has a friend she will text and hangout with 30F who compulsively cheats on her husband (none of us actually have met her husband). Due to recent events I’ve had a hard time fully trusting her because of this and also her behavior towards her cheating friend.

Her friend is married and they have a child that is 2 years old. A few weeks ago I was with my girlfriend and her friend at a bar. We were all drunk and she was talking about this guy she hooked up with that we all mutually know. She was talking about how hot he was and my girlfriend who has his number began to text him and tell him to come meet us out. She showed me the message before it got sent and I was drunk and ended up hitting send on it. The guy didn’t end up coming out but this is where my distrust of her began.

It seemed concerning that my girlfriend was joking around with her about it and then proceeded to draft a text for that guy to come out to meet her friend. I spoke with her about this the other night and I told her I think it’s disgusting how her friend cheats on her husband especially since they have a child together as well. I said they should just divorce and that the behavior is unacceptable.

She then proceeded to say I know , it’s just complicated “her friend says her and her husband are like best friends and they have a kid together”. I then called her out and said what if I tell my other buddy about how she cheats on her husband and she said “I would break up with you”. I called her out and said “that’s fucking bullshit, I don’t know why the fuck you’d even say that” she then replied “yeah you’re right I’d just be really upset”.

It makes me paranoid she would do the same to me and cheat. When we discussed boundaries she is very firm in her stance and says “I have been cheated on before and would never want to inflict that pain onto someone else” but it seems odd how she was almost trying to help her friend cheat at the bar. Also her other friend (who is friends with both of them) was calling the cheating friend out on her behavior calling her delusional and psychotic and my girlfriend was defending the cheating friend and got upset the other girl said that. Is this a big red flag or should I talk this over again with her and see what she says. She says she is great at keeping secrets and would never expose one of her friends.

Just to preface we are both in grad school and are 26 years old. I began hooking up with this girl around 4 months ago. Initially it was super casual, we would see each other maybe once a month and have sex. Slowly the frequency increased and one night after sex she admitted to having a crush on me. I responded and was flattered , I said I’m not ready for a relationship but I like to spend time with her. Fast forward the frequency has increased. I have been texting and initiating hookups and she will come over often late at night. One thing I noticed was that she NEVER initiates , it’s always me doing the texting and initiating. I have been considering asking her out and I heard from her mutual friend the last time they spoke that she was complaining about another man she had hooked up with prior to the beginning of our relationship (maybe I’m a rebound hookup.) Anyways the next week we hang out and hook up 4 nights in a row. During one of the nights she asks me if I am seeing anyone else and if we should be exclusive. I told her I really liked her and I have not seen anyone in a few months and that I am open to dating and seeing where this goes, I just do not want to rush. We hookup and continue to hook up in the morning. I see her the next day and now she is acting extremely cold in person and seems very “nonchalant” with only me. It confuses me and feels hurtful. Do I just need to give her space or is she just fucking with me?