u/LegitimateFortune621

This only started around 4 months ago. It all started with a holiday, and my friends and I went to a strip club. I got a lap dance from a stripper (usually not my thing but why not try it), and she offered a happy ending for an extra $50. I did it, but I didn’t want my friends to know as it would just become a life long joke. I really enjoyed the happy ending but wanted it over quickly so that none of my friends would know. Because of that, I felt like I wanted to experience it properly with no need to rush.

I searched online escorts in my area for all different prices. I eventually met an escort and loved it in a way but also hated it. The next weekend I met another escorts. I knew I needed to stop but I also loved it. I met 4 different escorts in 4 weekends in a row with different escorts, and then eventually was like this needs to stop. Simply because how expensive it is, just feeling unhygienic, I feel dirty and realise I’m literally paying a girl to have sex with me.

I stopped for 2 months and thought never again, it was a bad period in my life. Fast forward to this weekend, I did it when drunk and absolutely hated myself the next day. It only happens when I’m drunk.

How do I stop myself from doing it again?

I’ve currently set up a monthly deposit into a stocks and shares ISA for a fund. However I also want to diversify into 1/2 individual stocks. I’m currently looking at Crowdstrike, as the fund I invest in is technology heavy (but doesn’t include Crowdstrike).

What are your thoughts?

I have always known that I had a high sex drive. But recently something has happened to a point that I booked multiple escorts this past weekend. I have no idea why, but I did it. I’m 31, and the idea of escorts was always disgusting to me. But this past weekend I booked multiple escorts, and spent over £2000. £2000 is a lot of money especially for someone who is 31. I also have such deep regret with me using escorts, I feel physically sick within myself.

I’ve never had a feeling like this before, and I don’t want to tell anyone IRL (no one knows IRL which is a good thing) but I can’t get what I did out of my head.

I’ve fallen so far, 1/2 years ago I was in a happy loving relationship and I didn’t even watch porn because I was so in love with my girlfriend at the time. Fast forward to now, I’ve just spent my weekend getting drunk on my own and then meeting up with multiple escorts whilst spending A LOT of money.

Any advice is welcome!

I’ve just started a new job a few months ago. The pension scheme/provider that my company use is Legal & General. However, my core pension (which I’ve built up for nearly 10 years) is with Aviva. I don’t mind separate pension pots, but I would like all my current money and future contributions to be in the same fund as my core pension.

Legal & General doesn’t provide my existing fund as a fund (even though the fund is a L&G fund???). So if I combine my pensions, will my new pension contributions go into my core pension, or will they just be separate pots but shown on the Aviva platform?

This may sound like a dumb question, but I’ve done a bit of research and I still don’t have the answer. Any help is appreciated!

Banned on Hinge over a year ago. Recently brought a new phone so I used the new sim’s number to accept Hinge’s code. I also changed wifi in the past year and used a new email address. I’ve been on Hinge for a few weeks now but haven’t added any photos and have just pasued my account.

The reason for this is because most of the pictures I want to use are the same ones as before.

Since Ive paused my account for a few weeks, I haven’t been banned yet so I’m wondering if this helps me ‘ban evade’. Like surely if they detected something wrong I would of been banned already.

Any thoughts?

I got banned on Hinge over a year ago, still no idea why. I’ve used tinder and bumble for years and never been banned on them.

Anyway, in the last year, I’ve got a new phone (which came with a new sim so I’ve used that number to accept the code for hinge), I’ve got new wifi set up in my house, I’ve got a new banking card (in case of purchases). I have created my account yesterday and so far haven’t been banned yet however I haven’t uploaded any pictures as I’m worried that will get me recognised but I have any used facial recognition on the app (apparently this helps).

Just to clarify, I didn’t get all these new things just for hinge, I have just happened to upgrade in these areas in the past year.

Will this work and not get me banned again?

I’m a project manager, and have been for around 7 years. I joined a graduation scheme 7 years ago where I ‘learnt’ how to be a project manager and 7 years on I’m still clueless. There’s not a single day that goes by where I actually feel good at my job. I knew being a project manager didn’t naturally suit me as a person, but no matter how much time and effort I put into my role, I’m still absolutely clueless. I HATE planning (which a lot of project management is about) as 90% of the time I don’t even know what I’m meant to he delivering, I hate all the different technologies involved in my job, I hate documentation (although it’s easy, I always forget different pieces) and so on. 7 years of this job and I feel no better than I did in my first year.

You may wonder why I haven’t been sacked, well I’ve just left my job as I was on my final warning due to performance and I told my manager so many times that I’m not cut out for this and he basically just says ‘well if you’re not performing properly then you’ll need to go’, which is fair enough and true.

I’ve left my job to become a project manager elsewhere even though I’m clueless about it, and I start my new role tomorrow and I just feel so out of my depth.

Any advice/suggestions?

I recently hit my target milestone of having over £100K in my pension pot by 30. I’m very happy and proud right now! This means that I can relax somewhat knowing that this money invested so be a good sum when I retire regardless what happens between now and retirement.

I just thought that I would share.

I was with my ex for nearly 4 years. We were so in love, we did everything together, we were best friends, we thought the same, had the same opinions on things etc etc.

During our relationship she would always say things like ‘if we ever broke up, you would go out and get with loads of girls’ etc etc and no matter how much I said I wouldn’t she didn’t believe me. But 6 months after the break up, she had followed 40 new guys on instagram, yes 40!

When we broke up (she broke up with me), it was like she became a completely different person. She became so cold and almost felt like she was embarrassed by the relationship. 2 months post break up, I reached out to her and we had a chat but if felt like I was talking to HR from work, she was just very blunt and went on to say that ‘we wasn’t a good match’.

I don’t get how someone can be so in love with you and literally be your best friend, and then want to break up and 2 months after a 4 year relationship say that ‘we wasn’t a good match’.

I appreciate this is a long post and any advice is welcomed!

So my ex and I were together for 3.5 years. She broke up with me last summer for a range of reasons.

I’ll give a bit of background, we met early 2022 when I moved to a new city for a job and we met up for drinks and got along so well. As we had only met once and I was new to a city with my own flat, I continued to ‘date’ other girls (I was very open about this to her). And she also ‘dated’ other guys at the same time. As her and I met up a few more times, we both said that we like each other and want to be exclusive. It was going so well but after a few weeks she just sent me a massive paragraph saying that she really likes me but doesn’t like my body count (mine was 10 and hers was 1 prior to us meeting). We messaged a bit more about it and then she called it quits but in a good way (like she said I do really like you and would hope to meet again one day but right now isn’t the best time). So in total, we spoke for 3 weeks ‘casually’ and 2 more weeks ‘exclusive’. After 2 months of not talking, it was her birthday so I wished her happy birthday and we started talking from there again. One of the first questions she asked me was if I slept with anyone else during this time to which I said yes, 1 girl. She didn’t seem that bothered by it at the time. Anyway, we continued dating exclusively and then got into a relationship for 3.5 years.

Now here comes the downside, during our relationship she would always think that I was cheating, she would always take my phone to read my messages and so on. This was all simply because of my body count. If someone on TV cheated she would say ‘that’s 100% you’ and I would just be like no and reassure her. I did so much reassurance over the years it was actually exhausting. Even during the relationship she would always ‘joke’ and say if we ever broke up I would go out and go wild and get with loads of girls straight away. She was 21 when we met and I was 25, and after her 25th birthday last year, I felt like she started acting different when it came to other guys. For example, she asked me to look at my ‘explore page’ on instagram to see if there was any girls on there and I agreed and she saw nothing, so I asked her to see her ‘explore page’ and it was filled with topless guys. She also spoke a lot more ‘sexually’ to me which was weird because for the first few years so hated speaking sexually as she would cringe and be shy. There are other things but overall I just had this gut feeling that she is different now. I felt like when I met her, she was super shy and innocent and was like that for years but the last 4/5 months of our relationship she was just different. Anyway, she broke up with me because she found a photo of a girl that I slept with from 2018. Yes, you’re reading that right, I had a photo on my phone of a girl from 2018 (4 years before we met), and she went mental. I was so confused. But she ended it and said ‘your body count is 11 and when I was 21 I thought that was normal for a 25 year old but now I’m 25, I don’t know anyone on that number so I think that you need to find a girl with a high body count’. I was shocked, like did this girl even love me?! She’s breaking up with me because she’s got older basically. Like how does that even make sense, she knew my body count from day 1 but simply because she’s aged she now thinks it’s too high.

Now it’s been around 6 months post break up, I’ve seen that she unblocked me on instagram and seen that her following has gone up by 40 (yes, 40!) and a bunch of guys that she followed and liking their pictures (when we were in a relationship, the only pictures that she liked were mine, her close friends and family). I’ve also seen that she is liking a lot of guy’s pictures that she followed in the last year of our relationship that she told me not to worry about.

Was my ex just projecting the whole time?