r/SwipeHelper

I’m late 20s and I genuinely thought I was just bad at dating apps for a long time.

I’m not even a bad looking guy irl, but every time i try using dating apps i get the feeling that I’m ugly or i’m shadowbanned. But I know that whenever I take photos of me I looked stiff as hell. Wit a weird smile, an awkward posture. Even when friends tried helping me take “good” pics they somehow made me look worse lol.

Most of my Tinder/Hinge photos were random selfies or group pics and I barely got
matches.

At some point I started paying way more attention to the actual presentation side of profiles. I tried retaking photos, changing prompts, testing different lighting/backgrounds, and even experimented with a few AI photo tools out of curiosity. A lot of them looked super fake honestly, so I stayed away from anything too polished or unrealistic looking.

What ended up helping most was using some photos a friend of mine who is a photographer and an AI photo generator that makes photos that actually looked like me instead of those super polished fake-looking ones. I mixed them with 2 normal real photos I already had (luckly), and weirdly that balance worked way better than my old profile ever did.

I think the biggest difference was that the photos finally captured how I actually look/vibe in person when I’m not pressured to take any photos instead of looking awkward or forced.

Thankfully i got, more matches and it also helped in getting easier conversations. It honestly changed my perspective because before that I was convinced dating apps were just impossible unless you were insanely attractive aka a chad.

I’m actually in a relationship now, but I wanted to post this because I see a lot of guys immediately blaming shadowbans or assuming apps are completely hopeless, or they need to be some sort of chads.

My advice is to just present yourself clearly, do not hide your face, never wear sunglasses or caps. Your profile should answer these questions girls ask unconsciously :
How does he look?
Does he hides something?
How interesting is dating him?

Answering these with your profile photos will increase your matches 100%.

I am 31 black and 6’4”. Have not been on a date with a woman here in over a year. Been banned on tinder for a while due to deleting and making new accounts for noob boost constantly over years. Algorithm is fucked on hinge so I get almost zero likes or matches and if I do they are from obese women I’m not compatible with. Women in clubs and bars aren’t interested in speaking with average men anymore. My life is over and it’s all due to dating app culture.

Went on a date this past weekend with a girl and it didn’t go entirely well but I thought no worries. I had been wanting to kind of call off the second date but she seemed really excited so I obliged. On date #2 -Out of nowhere, she flips a switch (has anxiety and BPD) and started having a meltdown. Saying I was “too good for her and XYZ” and said she’s “having an episode that has nothing to do with me yada yada” I consoled her for like 3 hours saying everything was okay and she just kept profusely apologizing to me. She left and I just said “hey hope you made it home alright and are feeling better.” Went out to the bar by myself later. Got no response (didn’t think anything of it). Next day I get notifications/matches on hinge and go to open it up and I see that I’m banned. And she also blocked me on ig. I think she was just genuinely embarrassed and/or perhaps jealous because she knew I had several other hinge dates planned.

Either way - don’t know why I was banned. Wasted my appeal because I just responded to hinge “I don’t know why I’m banned” and immediately got hit with the permanent ban. Won’t tell me what I did wrong and I just don’t even know where to go in the appealing process or if it’s even worth it. Im wondering if she blocked me on hinge and said some stuff to make me look bad IRL. If that’s the case - how do you even go about appealing that? I know I’ve never done/said anything bad in the app nor in real life. But if someone tries to report you for a bad date- how would you appeal that ? Because quite frankly, I now know this chick is crazy and I’m weirdly concerned. I’ve been deemed guilty without a fair trial 😂 but this lowkey kind of sucks in a way my brain is having a hard time comprehending

Sorry for the long post. I’m just confused. and there’s this giant ball of spaghetti in my coconut that I’m trying to unravel and make sense of

I get 1000s of likes, dozens of matches (im picky, could be way more) and only a few of them convert to actual dates. Im top 1% profile.

Maybe 10% of matches to dates. The others drop off/go quiet before we can make plans.

My theory is even if the average joe schmo started getting dozens of likes, unless they are extremely desperate and matching 3-4/10s, they probably wouldn't get many dates from it unless they are the very top. They also wont habe abundance mentality and the girl is likely to sense their desperation on the date which presents a whole other set of issues we dont have to get into here.

Curious for guys in the top 10%, whats your experience?

Background: I have been banned on hinge in summer 2020 (my fault bad opener), summer 2022 (revenge reported), fall 2023 (used a tinder auto swiper, got banned from tinder which resulted in a hinge ban). I have been able to get back on the apps no problem each time using a new account. I never appealed my bans. I have an active hinge account even now

Last night I wanted test if I could log into my old accounts but I only have the number of my 2020 account still so I tried that and it worked! Normally I would get a message saying I was banned but it prompted me to create a new profile after putting in my 2020 number that’s still active.

What are some explanations for this ? Am I truly no longer a “hinge fugitive”? Would the 2022/23 account phone numbers be cleared as well? Keep in mind I never appealed or ever messaged match group.

Got Tinder Platinum yesterday.

Got laid today with a French girl today.

This Platinum shit really moves the needle.

I was on free for a few days, got nothing.

Then I was on Plus for a week, got like 1 match/day.

Got Platinum and immediately got 10+ matches. WTF.

Anyway I'll write a field report soon with my profile screenshots, openers, texting sequence, the date itself, the pull to my apartment, the sealing of the deal in my apartment.

Honestly I did nothing special, she was DTF and compliant from the beginning.

I didn't even really need to do shit.

She bought her own drink too (God I love Europe).

Moral of the story: GET PLATINUM. DON'T BE A CHEAP ASS.

And no, I'm not paid by Match Group to post this.

I put a lot of effort into the profile before I made it active. Good photos, prompts, all that. I also signed up for Hinge X right away.

When I first turned it on, I started getting likes pretty fast. Within the first few days I had around 50 likes sitting there.

Then I went on a couple dates with someone, things moved really fast, and we decided to try being exclusive pretty early. So I paused my profile.

That ended after about 2 weeks and now the app feels completely different. I’ve gone through most of the likes I had built up, a few turned into dates, but now I barely get likes unless I’m actively using the app and liking profiles myself.

All of my matches now seem to come from women I liked first, not from women liking me organically like before.

I’m also starting to get the “Check Back Later” message a lot, which seems weird because I’m in a Canadian metro area of around 1.5–2 million people. I wouldn’t think I’d be running out of profiles that quickly.

is this is just the normal drop-off after the new-user boost or is hinge is trying to push me toward boosts?

Should I look at restarting/resetting my profile or would that just be a waste of time?

I also have a trip coming up where I won’t have normal access to my personal phone for about 12 days, so I’m wondering if that inactivity will make things even worse or if it doesn’t really matter..

I have read the pinned guide, I have read the other popular guides. I have read the smaller posts as well. Was banned around 3 years ago from Match (hinge says it keeps certain banned data only two years). New phone, new number, new cellular plan, new photos, new Apple ID, new email, no WiFi only use new cellular plan data, will make birthday off by a few months and ten days (April 17 to August 27).

Question:

Can I use same name Erin? Small town/city and a lot of people know me from social media etc. If people see I’m using middle name Chris (no one knows my middle name) or E or Aaron then I have to explain it, have a bio disclaimer, or they report thinking catfish. I look relatively unique so don’t know if same banned name and photos that are new but look unique is too dangerous (think glasses and orange hair)

I’m ngl I was trolling on hinge cause I was bored. Can someone help me find a reasonable reason to get my account back. I was actually hitting it off with this guy and didn’t get his number yet 😭😭🙏

Also how long did it take you guys to get your account back?

I just read through the FAQ and i feel like i can never find anyone.

What do i do if i dont have any friends who are shorter than me, what do i do if i dont have any of the "cool" hobbies?

I dont want to lie and pretend im someone who im not. I dont want to pretend to be a cool freeclimber who goes out every weekend with 50 best friends just for a woman to find out on the first date that im a introverted disabled guy ....

All of these requirements are literally impossible for me to fulfill. Any advice what i can do?

I feel like this FAQ would get me banned in other subs for "blackpill ideology"

Is there any dating app advice that works for normal people who are not a fuckign movie character?

Howdy everyone! I’m a User Experience Design Master’s student researching deceptive design in dating apps. Specifically whether people feel manipulated by certain features and interface choices while using the apps.

I am looking for research participants to share their experiences with me. I have written a survey that I hope will gauge the average user’s understanding of these deceptive designs in action.

The survey takes around 15–20 minutes and is completely anonymous. It explores experiences with app features such as swiping, prompts, notifications, pricing, and overall interface design.

A key part of my research is raising awareness of how design can shape the dating app experience, and whether some users may internalise negative experiences that should actually be attributed to the app’s design rather than their own “flaws”. We shouldn’t be at a point where we have to seek out how to “hack” the algorithm, curate the perfect bio, or question our appearance or self-worth because of the apps. The apps are designed for increased engagement and monetisation and I hope that by surfacing these invisible mechanics people will gain a bit more confidence and realise they’re not the problem – the app design is.

If you’ve used the apps, I’d really appreciate your perspective.  

https://vuw.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_39Qc4BYQKJo198G

Please feel free to message be if you’d like more info on my research.

I have been living in another country for a year now, and my Hinge phone number is the one I use in that country.

When I come back in my home country and lose access to this number, I understand I will have to create a new account with my future number.

I would like to use the same pictures as my profile was working well.

Do I risk a ban or shadowban? Not trying to reset or anything, I just want to keep using Hinge with the same pictures but apparently it is impossible to update the phone number.

Been banned on hinge for like over a year now for the same BS everyone else has. after years of no matches I decided to send slightly edgy pickup lines in my matches and literally within 24 hours I got permabanned. You know I thought it wasn't that bad, I'd finally be able to find someone or talk to people outside the app with better success.

I was SO wrong.

I've been single and out of a relationship for 3 years now, trying to date and with the ban it just feels like theres no hope. Where am I going to find people in person? Insta is the only option at this point to shoot your shot and even there I've had ZERO success.

If i cant find girls in person, on hinge, or on insta? Its just over right?

Like sure I could hard reset, do you guys think its really worth it? Im a bit too lazy, but I dont want to mess up the process and get banned again idk. the issue is my name is unique so even if I hard resetted, and put my normal name, it could potentially get flagged. and if I use a different name and match with a girl wont she find it weird I have a different name from my real name and start jumping to conslusions in her head? idk guys I just need some advice

Trying to get a realistic read on whether appealing a Hinge ban is worth the effort right now, and the threads I’m finding are mostly a year or two old.

My situation: I was banned back in 2022. The original report came from an ex, and the context on my end was that it wasn’t a good-faith report. I got a new device in 2025 and successfully got back on Hinge…for a month…as the same ex actually revenge reported me…again. A year has since passed and I’d like to get back on the platform - Hinge is genuinely the best app for what I’m looking for in NYC. I also have the fortune of having a new device as I lost my phone over new years.

What I’m trying to figure out: I’ve seen mentions of Hinge shifting toward more proportionate enforcement under newer leadership, and some posts suggesting appeals actually get human review now rather than a form rejection. But I can’t tell if that’s real or just hopeful noise.

So, recent anecdotes specifically: Has anyone successfully appealed a Hinge ban in the last 6 months? How long did it take, did it feel like a real person reviewed it, and did the original ban reason matter?

If it’s the same old broken process, I am probably better off using a new number, photos, etc.

But it would be so nice if someone at the company could actually review my case.

Appreciate any honest experiences, good or bad.

Does anyone here have any idea how can we fight this monopoly that’s destroying lives? Like literally tech companies transformed our lives, took over it, and made us dependent on their apps, and now they’re getting us cancelled just like that for no fucking reason?

They’re destroying our lives, MatchGroup is having a monopoly on dating in 21st century… Can we get congress/media/MPs whoever involved because this is ridiculous! Does anyone have experience with this? Legal advice? Can we get some big influencers to talk about this like this is unbearable! How can we fight!??