u/Doctorbuddy

As a straight 32M, I find dating difficult in 2026.

I can get matches on dating apps. I can get first dates. But oftentimes I find the “no spark” or “no romantic” connection text very prevalent in my dating life - even with dates that seemingly go well. It’s making me reconsider dating all together.

As a man, my standards for a second date are short: am I attracted to them (do they look like their photos) and do I get along with them? Pretty straight forward. Quite honestly, the conversation doesn’t even need to be great. Ideally, I’d like to have good conversational flow and witty banter, but I know first dates can be nerve wracking for some.

However, I notice I can have good conversations with women on dates and feel the spark, yet get rejected after the fact. Happens all the time. More often than not.

I oftentimes also see the same women’s profiles on dating apps for months and months at a time. Some of these women I would even consider attractive - somehow they still haven’t found their partner.

What drives this huge disconnect? I’m really looking for specific and well thought out answers here. Anecdotes are helpful too.

Thanks, 🙏

I have an iPhone 15 Pro. 22 Honda CRV with corded CarPlay.

It is so bad. It takes minutes sometimes to load a song to play when I initially plug into the car. It spins and spins and spins. It crashes the app.

Anyone else? Am I the only one?

Deleted Hinge on June 24.

I bought HingeX on or around June 1.

I did fine the first 30 days (May 4-June 1). My stats said 127 inbound likes and 78 matches (both from inbound and outbound likes). But after that period it went down to two matches/week and 3 likes/week.

Should I remake prior to the 90 days? Or should I wait the full 90 days?

I want to catch the post- Summer dating wave if possible. But not tied to it if my account will just recognized prior to 90 days.

32M with ADHD.

I’m not sure this is ADHD specific, but I’m posting here for help.

I dated a woman last Fall that I was head over heels for and I cannot get over her - I have obsessive and limerant thoughts about her all the time.

I met her at an in person Speed Dating event in my city - the first one I ever attended. It was my first rodeo into dating in years. She ironically also lives in my neighborhood (but have not seen her since).

She was 100% my type in all facets and is a very pretty woman. She was confident, independent, pretty, assertive, didn’t want kids (I didn’t either) and showed heavy interest in me on Date 1.

Long story short, we went on 3 dates, she showed heavy romantic interest in me on Date 1 and Date 2, but I didn’t reciprocate because I was nervous around her (she was gorgeous and 100% my type). We went on a 3rd date but she ended the date early after I didn’t reciprocate interest and she called me shy and said that was a “checkmark” against me.

I was devastated because I really liked this woman and it feels as though “I failed” to show my interest in her. I can’t stop thinking about her or our dates.

Anyway, I’m constantly ruminating about her and I cannot get her out of my head. Any advice or thoughts on how to move on/stop the rumination?

I also don’t want you to disparage her - she’s a good woman. I just need help with my own mental state about it. 🙏

If you want more detail, I can provide it. This story goes deep - I even met a few of her friends over the last year.

31M here.

I have Bumble Premium or whatever it’s called so I can see who likes me.

I feel like I’m moderately attractive. Not ugly. But reviewing my likes is humbling to say the least 😭.

I don’t want to give more details because I don’t want to be insulting but people need perspective on who’d they’d be compatible with irl physically.

31M

Does this happen to anyone else?

Mildly attractive

I get about 5/6 matches a week but varies week to week. Sometimes more. Sometimes less.

I’d say 3 of the 6 never even send an initial message so the match expires worthless.

2 of the 3 stop responding after a couple of messages (let’s say 2 back and forth max).

The last one has a good back and forth and eventually stops responding after a day or two.

Do other guys have this issue? It can’t be a me thing. I don’t believe it. I’m not boring either. I try to engage with them and banter and be witty and have good conversations. What the hell is happening.

As a 31M, I’m curious to see what a typical first date rejection rate is for men (and women doing the rejecting).

My rejection rate (women rejecting me) is close to 70%. I’d say half of them I want a second date.

Curious to hear what is “normal”. Most come from OLD.

I’m not talking generic advice. I’m talking something that changed the way you approached dating, helped you be more successful, or changed your view on it.

Could be related to anything about dating. The dates themselves, what to do on dates, how to date women etc.

Thanks. You’re helping a late bloomer out 😅

This is specific to Date 1.

I struggle to get past the first date and I’ve pinpointed a root cause: lack of good, flowing conversation on Date 1. Oftentimes I only do well with women that are more chatty and outgoing because they can lead and carry the conversations. Without this, I notice I don’t do as well.

I ask questions. I can ask follow ups questions. But I struggle to monkey branch from one topic to another naturally - my mind goes blank. And then it leads the conversation to be more of an interview than a date.

What does a good Date 1 conversation look like? Any tips or skills that helped you develop this muscle?

Thanks in advance 🙏

Just curious.

Do any men (or women) feel like Bumble performs worse than Hinge?

I have the same/similar profiles on both and Hinge has objectively outperformed Bumble by a long shot. It’s like 10 to 1 ratio in terms of likes, matches, dates etc.

Anyone else have this same experience? Curious to hear anecdotes and if I’m not alone

(Not a paid endorsement LMAO) 🤣

I’m really talking to men (and women) who can get matches on apps.

Is dating in 2026 truly THIS bad? What happened?

The flakiness. Ghosting. Non-commitment. Matches not responding. Matches accepting date plans then unmatching or ghosting or deleting account. Number of first dates where you get rejected afterwards: no spark, no romantic connection, found someone else. Planning second dates with a day and time and location only to back out last minute due to excuses, found someone else, not feeling the spark, don’t have time to date etc.

Talking to women back and forth for 4/5 days. Schedule date with day/time/location. No response.

Holy shit. My mental health cannot take it.

Has dating always been this difficult? I am genuinely so confused how anyone dates nowadays. So many rules and rigidity and just non-commitment from people that want to find that instant spark just to get dumped 2 months later.

Does anyone make it past a couple months anymore? I’m being serious. It’s like dating got Tik Tokified to the point where attention spans no longer exist.

It’s genuinely been getting to my mental health and has destroyed what little confidence I had.

I deleted Hinge after 2 months because it was destroying my mental health and confidence.

Any anecdotal stories? Anyone else experiencing similarly? Is this what dating is in 2026?

I want to hear other stories if possible. I appreciate it 🙏

Yo.

I’m looking to enjoy the heat a little bit after work and grab a beer.

Looking for cocktail bars/breweries/bars/places with outdoor seating or patios to just grab a drink and relax after work. Enjoy the nice weather. Potentially talk to a stranger ???

Suggestions appreciated 🙏

Women can comment too, but looking for men insights to help a brother out a bit.

I’m feeling mentally exhausted from dating app dates. I need help understanding if what I am experiencing is normal, how to navigate it mentally, and then if there are any further suggestions to help me.

I can get some likes and matches on Hinge. I go on dates. We have fun. We can talk. I sometimes even get a second date planned. I get their phone number.

But then the inevitable: ghosting, the text that I am no longer interested, I have other options, I’m too busy etc. whatever the reason is. It turns into a rejection of some sort.

EXAMPLE: I had a first date with a woman I met on Hinge last Tuesday evening, date was at a cocktail bar. We had a great connection, flirted, talked for two hours. She wanted to see me again. Got her phone number. Scheduled a second date by Friday morning for this Tuesday (tomorrow).

I text her today to say how I’m excited to see her. I get a long-ish response back saying how she enjoyed getting to know me but she said she found another connection she wanted to pursue further and that she didn’t feel dating me was fair. Wished me the best.

I just feel like this is happening more often than not. And not the same excuse. It’s obviously always different - no spark, busy, found another connection, not interested etc.

How are men navigating this? Specifically looking for advice and anecdotal experiences to help me. I need advice from men that can get dates but may have experienced similar struggles. THANK YOU 🙏

How did you get through this? Is this normal? Am I deficient? I’m exhausted. 😩

Men and women can comment.

I just did and it was HUMBLING 😭. I paid for Bumble Premium + for 3 months because I wanted to optimize my Bumble experience better.

As a 31M, I had racked up 43 likes over the last few weeks (profile was created beginning of May) and I had like a dozen matches go NO WHERE.

So I said why not. Well… safe to say I didn’t match with any of the 43 likes.

$130 well spent so far 😅.

Anyone else experience this? Curious to hear anecdotal stories and thoughts.