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My husband has an issue with 7oh/mgm addiction essentially to kratom. He previously had an issue with heroine and things before we met, and during that time he lied, stole and don’t all those sorts of things. 10 years ago he went to rehab and 8 years ago we got together.

There have been occurrences throughout our relationship where he’d lied, stole, and did everything but physically abuse me or cheat on me (that I know of). I guess the longer I stuck around and enabled him he continued.

I’ve gave him countless chances and forgiveness to make things right. And received empty promises, half truths about how bad things were and lies about him stopping.

I searched AI groups and learned I’m not alone, I’m enabling him an even read stories and watched videos of people leaving their partners to get the stuff together and reconciling.

Sometimes I think we’re better apart, but I also realize I love him.

I found a place to live apart from him, I pay the deposit Thursday and move on the 27th. This morning before him knowing my plans he went to the hospital and a treatment center and started Methadone with the plan to do it for a few months, and get off kratom and everything completely.

He came back and I told him I’m moving out. I’m not enabling him an I also need him to figure his stuff out independently. I need to know he can manage his sobertity through the hard and difficult parts, take care of himself and all the things he needs to do as he goes through this transition.

So far as of today he will have daily check ins for Methadone or suboxone I’m not sure, he will do to AA meetings and speak to a counselor. He says when he’s done his goal is to try to work in the field to help others. He said he wanted to years ago when he first got out of rehab but thought it would get him back on drugs. He’s said now he knows he can help and not get back on stuff, as long as he works on himself and sees this through.

I woke up this morning to him gone and a text message saying he was tired and was at the hospital talking to someone to admit he has an issue and wanted help.

I want to make things work but I can’t keep enabling him and I need to know he will follow through and seek help outside of thinking he can do it on his own. Because he can’t.

I talked about marriage counseling as well once I’m all moved out and seeing where that goes and even what the counselor suggests. Thanks to anyone who’s read this far.

My husband has an issue with 7oh/mgm addiction essentially to kratom. He previously had an issue with heroine and things before we met, and during that time he lied, stole and don’t all those sorts of things. 10 years ago he went to rehab and 8 years ago we got together.

There have been occurrences throughout our relationship where he’d lied, stole, and did everything but physically abuse me or cheat on me (that I know of). I guess the longer I stuck around and enabled him he continued.

I’ve gave him countless chances and forgiveness to make things right. And received empty promises, half truths about how bad things were and lies about him stopping.

I searched AI groups and learned I’m not alone, I’m enabling him an even read stories and watched videos of people leaving their partners to get the stuff together and reconciling.

Sometimes I think we’re better apart, but I also realize I love him.

I found a place to live apart from him, I pay the deposit Thursday and move on the 27th. This morning before him knowing my plans he went to the hospital and a treatment center and started Methadone with the plan to do it for a few months, and get off kratom and everything completely.

He came back and I told him I’m moving out. I’m not enabling him an I also need him to figure his stuff out independently. I need to know he can manage his sobertity through the hard and difficult parts, take care of himself and all the things he needs to do as he goes through this transition.

I want to make things work but I can’t keep enabling him and I need to know he will follow through and seek help outside of thinking he can do it on his own. Because he can’t.

I talked about marriage counseling as well once I’m all moved out and seeing where that goes and even what the counselor suggests. Thanks to anyone who’s read this far.

I typically post out of fear my husband will come across it but I don’t care. I’m 26 and he’s 34.

When we initially got together I was 18 and he was 26. We dated for about a month and half before we got into a commited relationship.

I’m the exact age he is now, and the thought of being with someone 18 is absolutely disgusting to me.

It wasn’t until the day after officially getting together he tells me, nonchalantly. “Did I ever tell you I’m in recovery?” He then goes on to say he was addicted to pain pills and went into recovery. Young and naive as I look back, I didn’t know what it meant. Now I’m 26 and have seen it all and realize that was no small thing. ALSO it ended up being an addiction to heroine, meth, pills and lots of drugs. I didn’t even know he was addicted to heroine up until yesterday. When I was at my wits end.

About a few months into our relationship I come across needles in his bedroom, he had relapsed and had for months. For months I had no clue, up until I discovered it. And that was why he wouldn’t make plans with me, and borrowed hundreds and hundreds of dollars from me- 18 in school, living on my own barely getting by. Was borrowing money from me to do lord knows what.

I tell him I was done and he couldn’t do that anymore. He cried, and talked his way out of it as he does now until this day. He promised to change and I forgave him.

Less than a year later, he steals a phone from me (HELPS ME EVEN LOOK FOR IT) turns out he PAWNED it. For money. And he didn’t admit it until I had this gut feeling it was him who did something to it. I lost all the photos of my grandfather who died a year before that. Gone. I forgave him.

He does good for a while, still never paying bills and me taking care of EVERY THING. Despite me making less than him I was the one good with money. I put myself through the police academy, not working but still having an income to pay bills. He contributed close to nothing. (We’re engaged at this time) To this day he loves to throw in my face how he got me through the academy, when he did nothing but the bare minimum.

He steals money from me again.

And this past December he’s done it AGAIN. I forgave him AGAIN. I find out, entire times he’s unemployed and it was cash I’d been setting aside to get myself a car because he does nothing for me. He spent it. On 7OH/kratom products.

Since December I thought it was because he didn’t want to ask for money from me, and yesterday I learn it was to support his addiction to that stuff…..

1.5 years later he’s still on kratom, he’s lied about the amount of it. Lied about what he was on and deceived me in so many ways. Like I’d rather he have cheated on me. I made him call his parents and tell them what’s going on, and even asked him to ask to stay there so we can have space. The plan was just to tell him not to come back and serve him with papers. Long story short they said no, because they can’t have him detoxing in their house.

I’ve made it clear I need space, and I am emotionally numb. And I’m ashamed it’s taken me this long, this many chances to question my self worth and opinion of myself. But I’m done.

He’s sitting around opening all of our wedding vows, kissing my ass, and even brought me our wedding vows. Promising to be the man I deserve as he always does. I don’t even know why I’m posting this or what I’m doing. I truly have NO ONE to talk to.

I just don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve this.

Last night he tells me,

“When you think about it, this really isn’t all that bad.”

It took me saying. “It’s because you’re not in the position I’m in” for him to say “you’re right.” But he doesn’t mean it.

I don’t understand why he tries to talk his way out of everything, and to try to change the subject.