u/Legitimate_Flow3623

* Yes I know it's ( evil ) AI, I hardly have the capabilities of designing a TDC Lego set box and it's been used purely for a laugh. Just putting it out there as I know some of you are pessimistic about it, but come on, that's funny. Aww just look at little Ben.

Dad didn't have pictures to send me so these are just what i could find in the internet. My big brother in 88 was taken home in a Vauxhall cavalier mk2, me in 91 was taken home in Rover 216 and my little brother in 94 was a Mazda 626. Apparently these were all hatchbacks and company cars.

What did you guys/gals all get?

As for solving it without cutting a dog in half or adding one medium dog into the equation like what I saw in the comments.

I think you have to have 37 small dogs minimum for the starting point. You add 1 large dog the number of small dogs remains equal to or higher than 36. By adding one small dog after each large dog this remains true.

49 total, 43 small dogs and 6 large dogs.

Whether you've worked in an auto parts store or just been a customer, we've all seen our fair share of stuff. Well now's the time to share.

I'll also let you add stories from a dismantlers, wreckers buying parts online. Here's mine, enjoy.

*** First story. ***

My first job at 16 up until I was 20 was working at Supercheap auto.

A few months in, this old boy ( late 70's at a guess ) walks up to the counter with a few items to purchase. I complete the sale and as I'm handing him the receipt and his change, he cups my hands and holds them rather tight. He pulls me close, then leans forwards to my face and softly says,

" I'd love a picture of you to sit on my grand piano. "

Strokes my hand, winks, then leaves.... I just stood there for a moment to process what had happened.

Oh and I'm male if that helps.

*** Second story. ***

A Chinese fella comes into the store, " Morning, is there anything I can help you with today sir? "

He frantically starts waving his arms around at the bottles of oil we have on display behind the counter, saying something in broken English. After five minutes or so I establish he bought one of those particular bottles of oil on sale a week or so ago and wanted me to a special discount for him as a returning customer.

" No can do sorry, is there anything else I can help you with? "

He points at the Navmans and Tomtoms, then starts attempting to say something to me again, so with two units side by side I change one to Cantonese and navigate through the menus on two nav units at once, so I don't get lost, explaining as I go along.

He seems thoroughly impressed, since the Nav units were on a good sale at the time I ask if he'd like to buy one.

He says " oooooooh, oh no no no no. " pauses... then lets out the most colossal dad sneeze of all time, which he cups in his hands, thankfully. Or so I thought...

" Eugh! " he proclaimed loudly with a shocked look on his face as he looked at his palms.

I can see the panic beginning to set in his eyes, he looks at me, then the door, then his hands, then back at me again, quickly he wipes his hands down the front of my shirt then bolts it out of the store yelling.

" Sorry, thank you, sorry, thank you, sorry! "

I cleaned the greeny yellowish clusters of snotblobs off my shirt in the staff bathroom and carried on with my day, the worst part is, he owns the bakery across the road from us...

*** Third story. ***

We did fitments at work, little stuff like batteries, bulbs, wipers, seat covers etc...

One day this lady needed a brake light bulb changing and I was tasked with fitting it. In the boot of her Subaru forester was a pitbull, which like any breed can be lovely dogs when trained properly, this one however was not.

The lady grabbed the dog by its collar the second the bootlid opened, held it back against the rear seats.

" You should be good to go. " She said.

So I get on with the fitment of this brake light bulb, to gain access I've had to remove an interior panel to get at the bulb holders, with my head turned away from the dog.

The dog has been going at it this whole time, trying to get at me and towards the end of fitting the bulb holder back in place I could feel the breath of the dog getting closer to back of my neck....

I get the panel back on and remove myself from the boot of the Subaru.

" All set. "

" Sweet as "

She lets go of the dog and attempts to quickly close the bootlid in the path of the dog. The dog gets out and immediately tries and use its weight to knock me off balance by jumping up and essentially body slamming me, woofing, snapping it jaws, eyes locked onto my throat....

After a thirty second or so scuffle of me kneeing the dog in the chest each time it jumps up at me, the owner is eventually able to get a hold of it and throw it into the car.

" Are you ok? " She asks.

" Yea I'm fine. "

" Good, I guess with this breed its not a matter of 'if' they kill someone, it's a matter of 'when' they kill someone aye? Hahahaha. " As she hopped in the driver's seat.

That lady shouldn't ever own a fkn dog..

*** Fouth story. ***

I'm just quite happily serving some customers at the front counter when all of a sudden this ratty looking Ford Laser parks up right outside the front door to the store.

A rather irate gentleman comes marching into the store and slams a recently purchased jump pack on the counter.

" YOU GUYS SELL ABSOLUTE SHIT, THIS THING LEFT ME STRANDED AND I NEEDED TO CALL A FRIEND TO JUMPSTART MY CAR, I DEMAND A REFUND!!! " He said in a calm and mature manner...

" Do you guys mind if I deal with this gentleman real quick? " I said to the customers I was dealing with.

" No, go ahead. "

" thanks, won't be long "

" Ok sir, I'm sorry that happened to you. I just need to confirm the jump pack is faulty first. "

I plug its charging lead in, it accepts a charge...

I grab a headlight bulb from the bin which had It's high beam blown, connect the jump leads to the pins for the low beam, turn the jump pack on and the bulb shines brightly.

" Are you sure you set the switch to the on position? " As I turn off the jump pack.

" DON'T QUESTION MY FUCKING INTELLIGENCE!! " he said whilst remaining in complete control of himself.

( Oh question it I shall. )

" Hmm, sir do you mind if I test this on your vehicle? "

" NO, IT WON'T START MY CAR AND THEN I'LL BE STRANDED HERE!! "

" It's fine, we have many other jump packs here which if yours turns out to be faulty, that will be able to start your vehicle. "

" OK FINE, BUT YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME!! "

On my way out, I lock the automatic sliding doors open as to not obstruct the view for the customers that I was previously serving.

We turn the car off and attempt to start it again without the jump pack connected, it doesn't start.

I connect the jump pack to the vehicles battery, we go to start it and it doesn't work.

" SEE, I TOLD YOU IT'S CRAP!! "

I flip the switch to the on position.

" I've turned it on, now please try start it. "

Engine starts....

Guys proceeds to mutter all sorts of nonsense to himself, ripps the jump pack off the battery, slams the bonnet down with the bonnet stay sticking out the front of the car. Then does an impressive one wheeler peeler as he left our carpark, customers were laughing their arses off as I walked back in.

Question it I did

*** Bonus short stories. ***

An Indian guy comes in asking for spark plugs for his Toyota Corolla diesel....

I find him some 'spark plugs.'

" Anything else I can help you with sir? "

" I need oil and a filter, I want the cheapest, but best oil too "

So after recommending the correct 15w-40 diesel specific oil for his car, his eyes were drawn to a bottle of 40w-70 LPG specific oil which was on very good clearance deal.

Which he bought because on the because on the back of the bottle it stated ' We make a wide range of engine oils to suit many Petrol, Diesel, LPG, CNG passenger and commercial vehicles. '

I pointed out the bottle wasn't correct, but it mentions Diesel vehicles on the back, so it must be right.

Ugh...

***

I guy set his EL XR6 Ford falcon on fire after spraying carby cleaner into the distributor cap hoping to fix an ongoing misfire issue....

This was shortly after giving me a lecture on how new oil filters are a scam, how old oil filters flow better thanks to a pressure relief valve that opens. He knows more than any mechanic he's come across and auto manufactures don't want you the know this oil filter secret too...

Standard Falcon owner behaviour I've been told.

***

A guy came in wanting to return a LED festoon bulb as it didn't work.

" Did you try connecting it the other way around sir? "

" What good would that do?!? "

" LEDs are polarity sensitive. "

" I've been a fully qualified sparky for longer than you've been alive boy and I've never heard of such nonsense. "

We went out to his vehicle to confirm it didn't work.

Plugged it in, didn't go.

" See it doesn't work. "

Spun it around, now it does work.

I just looked at him and smiled.

" Oh, perhaps I should keep my mouth shut in future. "

" Algud, it happens. "

***

Oh and the day I found a turd marinating in puddle of piss at the bottom of the stairs to the office. It was finders keeps that day as to who should clean it up.

😕

Anyways, thanks for reading.

Remove or Retract the buttstock to improve hipfire accuracy, ADS speed and movement speed while ADS, at the cost of greatly reduced weapon accuracy and recoil control.

At 25 attachment point cost for what it does I think is fair and it would make for some interesting builds.

The 1993 Enigma 3W-CVT A Symphony of Contradictions. A Triumph of the Compromised. Experience the Paradigm Shift Are you tired of predictable motoring? Bored by conventional ergonomics? Step into the 1993 Enigma 3W-CVT—a vehicle that boldly asks, "What if luxury passenger accommodations were aggressively welded to a mechanically raw, intentionally flawed drivetrain?"

Wrapped in a utilitarian, ultra-compact three-wheeled Reliant Robin-esque van body (boasting the exact 3.3m x 1.4m footprint of a Suzuki Carry), the Enigma is not just a mode of transportation. It is an engineering statement.

Key Features & Specifications

1. Executive Exterior & The "Interlock" Experience.

The Enigma commands attention with its forward-control cab design and heavy-duty, weathered canvas soft-top sunroof—meticulously secured by a randomized series of complex turn-buckles.

The Ultimate VIP Privacy: There is no rear window, ensuring total isolation from the outside world.

The "Interlock" Door System: Hierarchy is built right into the bodywork. The massive, full-length curbside reverse suicide sliding door physically blocks the driver’s front-hinged door. To exit, the passengers must exit first, allowing the driver the distinct honor of being the last to leave the vessel.

2. Mechanical Purity: The Drivetrain.

At the heart of the Enigma lies a mid-mounted, Mazda-derived single-rotor Wankel engine, aggressively converted to run exclusively on eco-friendly Liquid Petroleum Gas (LPG).

Visceral Feedback: Bolted directly to the steel ladder chassis with zero rubber or polyurethane bushes, 100% of the rotary’s high-frequency vibration is channeled directly into your soul.

The Elite Starting Ritual: Forget boring ignition keys. Starting the Enigma requires inserting a reassuringly heavy, 2-foot brass handle through the side of the engine to engage the eccentric shaft directly.

Seamless Acceleration: Mated to a first-generation Nissan CVT, power is sent forward via a driveshaft to a singular front wheel, running directly between the driver’s feet. Giving new meaning to the team “one wheeler peeler”.

3. Opulent Interior & Avant-Garde Controls.

A While the cabin is a raw, acoustic metal echo chamber, the seating is pure opulence.

The Cockpit: As the only forward-facing occupant, the driver enjoys a plush, overstuffed, deep-pile velvet armchair finished in stunning Dusty Rose, offering unparalleled lumbar support.

Skid-Steer Handling: Ditch the steering wheel. Control the road with twin, floor-mounted vertical levers. Each individual lever controls its own rear wheel, Counter-rotate them to pivot flawlessly on your central front axis!

Rear-Facing Lounge: Passengers relax on two rear-facing bench seats wrapped in matching premium velvet, enjoying a contemplative, uninterrupted view of the cabin’s blank rear wall.

🚽 The Eco-Drive Biome System Tucked discreetly under the rear bench seat is a premium chemical toilet. But it’s more than a convenience—it’s a hybrid powerplant! The vehicle’s natural sloshing motion accelerates methane production, which an overly complex vacuum system filters, compresses, and injects directly into the engine under high loads for a distinct premium power boost. To prevent a dangerous build-up of methane pressure, the system will perform an emergency purge. Dumping excess methane directly into the hot exhaust gas flow, producing a distinct blue “afterburner” flame effect from the exhaust.

Technology & Electrical Innovations

The "Acknowledge" Voice-Activation Core The dashboard is a masterpiece of minimalist design—completely smooth and devoid of tacky buttons. Command your environment using our cutting-edge, early-90s voice-recognition system. Simply shout the wake word "Acknowledge!" to adjust the 8-track volume, wipers, headlights, or climate control. Note: For best results, voice commands should be delivered at maximum shouting volume to properly compete with the deafening, un-insulated rotary engine and CVT whine.

Unified Electrical Architecture Featuring premium, late-80s Mercedes-Benz stock wiring with biodegradable soy-based insulation, the Enigma simplifies electrical troubleshooting.

One Wire, One Color: Every single wire in the vehicle is an identical shade of satin black.

The "Earth Shaker" Ground: Every component shares a single, massive grounding lug located directly on the vibrating engine block. This cleverly injects rich, variable electrical noise from the ignition directly into the voice control module, automatically disabling voice commands above 3000rpm so you can focus on the drive.

Unique 18v electrical system: By utilizing a unique 18v system, standard 12v electronic components will have a greatly reduced lifespan, meanwhile 24v electronic components won't receive sufficient power to function properly. This design also ensures a complete lack of compatibility with other vehicles in the event they require an emergency jumpstart from you.

Engineering Dynamics, Feature Specifications and The Enigma Advantage.

Suspension Long-travel trailing-arm (all 3 wheels) 14 inches of pure, smooth, un-dampened vertical travel.

Ride Quality Softly sprung, perpetual oscillation Creates a soothing, wave like, nautical seasick sensation for rear passengers.

Hardware Randomized Factory Bin Selection A unique mix of six point, Phillips, E-torx, Allen key and tamper proof bolt heads. With an assortment of Metric, Imperial, and Whitworth threads on every vehicle.

The Ultimate Engineering Easter Egg: To celebrate the spirit of chance, our factory algorithm designates one critical fastening bolt (e.g., the CVT-to-chassis mount) as a left-hand reverse thread. With no external markings as to which bolt this is, ensuring each vehicle will truly be unique. Making sure every routine maintenance session becomes a thrilling game of mechanical strategy!

Monoblock Cooling Efficiency: Why worry about multiple radiator hoses failing? The Enigma features a single, hot-plate welded, fiber-reinforced nylon Monoblock Cooling System. The water pump housing, thermostat, radiator end tanks, and cabin heater matrix are all one unified piece. In the event of a minor rock puncture or stress fracture from use over time, simply replace the entire integrated $4,000 assembly. Convenience redefined.

The 1993 Enigma 3W-CVT Don't just drive. Acknowledge the journey. Visit your local boutique dealership today for a hand-crank demonstration!

Thought I'd make some flags which are mashups of where mine and my girlfriends surnames come from, just for a laugh.

We have

England and Denmark = Denmengland.

Scotland and Ireland = Scireland.

Single fire the GGH-22 fires the .40sw and should hit a bit harder than it currently does, say +3 more max damage. So it's in between the 9mm and the .45.

Auto trigger re chambers the gun into 9mm, with less damage per shot, recoil control stat tanks as a result. But glock go BRRRRRRRT is worth.

Be nice to see trigger options on many other weapons tbh.

Recon. Signature weapons

• Sniper rifles. Reduced sway; faster re-chamber; better breath hold for steady shots.

• Carbines. Improved hip-fire accuracy and recoil control.

Sniper :

Enhanced Perception

Enhances the Recon's Auto-Spotting range by 33 percent, with a broader angle of ten percent. Spotting is also quicker and lasts three seconds longer.

Target Acquired

Damaging an enemy will spot them in-world and on the minimap.

Confirmed Kill

When using a sniper rifle, landing a headshot on an enemy will instantly kill them, preventing them from being revived.

UAV Overwatch

When activated, a UAV will enter the warzone, covering a 100m radius and spotting enemy units for a full minute.

Spec ops :

Stealth Tactics

Reduced minimap detection range when using a suppressor to 8m. Crouching or lying prone will significantly reduce the sounds you make. This also applies when you perform takedown actions.

Search and destroy

Increase tugs, Claymore and C4 capacity by 1. Spawn beacon makes less noise when deployed.

Low Profile

Proning will now clear your in-combat state 1.5s faster. Additionally, if you're spotted, the duration the effect lasts will be reduced by 33 percent.

UAV Overwatch

When activated, a UAV will enter the warzone, covering a 100m radius and spotting enemy units for a full minute.

Keep in mind with my suggestion I think Recon should get the deploy beacon back. But it isn't critical if they don't, I just think it's more interesting if they do, particularly spec ops ☺️