I visited Marina Beach yesterday after many years. While I was impressed by how much the infrastructure has improved, I was absolutely shocked by the rat infestation.

I saw hundreds of rats casually sitting outside their burrows along the pavement. The areas that were supposed to have grass had instead become a massive breeding ground for these huge rats. They didn’t even seem afraid of people, they were just out in the open everywhere.

It was honestly disgusting and completely ruined the experience. For such an iconic tourist attraction, this is a serious hygiene and public health concern. Has anyone else noticed how bad it’s gotten, or was this just an unusually bad day?

Im 25F and husband 34M and in 3 days, I’m leaving my husband and telling my parents that I want to get divorced and he doesnt know yet that I have decided this for myself.

Right now, he’s asleep beside me, and I’m lying here quietly crying. I keep looking at his face, trying to memorize every little detail, his features, the way he sleeps, the person I once believed would be my forever. I have known him for almost 10years since I was 16years old.

At one point, he was everything to me. I prayed for him. I dreamed about building a life with him. I loved him deeply.

But after 3.5 years together, I’ve had to accept something incredibly painful: he isn’t good for me, and we aren’t good for each other. Our relationship has been toxic and abusive. We’ve shared beautiful moments, and there have been times when we genuinely loved each other. But the bad has outweighed the good for a long time now. I know he is genuinely hurt as well but this is our reality.

I’m grieving not only the person beside me, but also the future I thought we’d have and the version of us that never got the chance to exist. I know leaving is the right decision, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

The hardest part is that I don’t hate him. I never wish anything bad for him, and I never will. I’ve always wanted good things for him, and I always will. No matter what happened between us, I think I’ll always have a soft corner for him and I’ll always love him in some way. I genuinely hope life is kind to him.

For those who have gone through something similar, what did you do during those final days? How did you preserve the good memories while still finding the strength to leave?

Please don’t tell me to go back to him. That decision has already been made.

I just want advice on how to get through these last few nights and how to carry the memories without letting them pull me back.

EDIT: Reason for leaving is physical abuse. Same old pattern - He again slapped me after begging to me that he would change.

Im 25F, and in 3 days, I’m leaving my husband and telling my parents that I want to get divorced and he doesnt know yet that I have decided this for myself.

Right now, he’s asleep beside me, and I’m lying here quietly crying. I keep looking at his face, trying to memorize every little detail, his features, the way he sleeps, the person I once believed would be my forever. I have known him for almost 10years since I was 16years old.

At one point, he was everything to me. I prayed for him. I dreamed about building a life with him. I loved him deeply.

But after 3.5 years together, I’ve had to accept something incredibly painful: he isn’t good for me, and we aren’t good for each other. Our relationship has been toxic and abusive. We’ve shared beautiful moments, and there have been times when we genuinely loved each other. But the bad has outweighed the good for a long time now. I know he is genuinely hurt as well but this is our reality.

I’m grieving not only the person beside me, but also the future I thought we’d have and the version of us that never got the chance to exist. I know leaving is the right decision, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

The hardest part is that I don’t hate him. I never wish anything bad for him, and I never will. I’ve always wanted good things for him, and I always will. No matter what happened between us, I think I’ll always have a soft corner for him and I’ll always love him in some way. I genuinely hope life is kind to him.

For those who have gone through something similar, what did you do during those final days? How did you preserve the good memories while still finding the strength to leave?

Please don’t tell me to go back to him. That decision has already been made.

I just want advice on how to get through these last few nights and how to carry the memories without letting them pull me back.

I am 25F, earning ₹1.7 lakhs per month, and I'm considering buying an apartment worth ₹1.25 crore.

My plan is:

• Property value: ₹1.25 crore
• Down payment: ₹45 lakhs by selling gold in the coming week (Ik but I have no other option currently)
• Home loan: ₹80 lakhs for 30 years
- Emi will be 55k per month

Over the next 6 months, I am planning to sell another ₹40 lakhs worth of gold (I'm holding off for now because I feel gold prices are currently down). Once sold, I would use it to make a substantial prepayment and reduce my loan burden significantly this will bring my EMI to - 37k per month for 15 yearss. Realistic rental yield for this apartment is 25k minimum.

Most of this gold was given to me by my parents, and around ₹15 lakhs worth is my own gold/savings.

The reason I'm considering this purchase is not purely financial.

The flat is in a great location and happens to be in the same building where my parents recently purchased a flat. I genuinely like the property.

Another factor is that the project is almost complete, with possession expected in around 3 months. This is one of the reasons I prefer this particular property over other options. If I go ahead with the purchase, I will most likely rent it out initially rather than live in it myself.

I am also planning for a divorce. One of my biggest motivations is that I want a home that is fully in my own name and funded by me. I do not want to depend on either my husband or my father for a roof over my head.

I come from a fairly orthodox family. Renting an apartment and living alone in Chennai is not something that would be accepted easily right now.

Part of my thinking is that owning a flat would give me leverage and independence after the divorce. My parents live in Dubai, though my mother currently is staying in Chennai. If I don't own a place, I expect there will be pressure from my family to leave my job, move back to Dubai, and become dependent on them again.

One reason I am considering buying the flat is that it creates a legitimate financial commitment in my life. If I later decide to move to Bangalore and stay in a PG while continuing my same job I dont want to stay with my mom in Chennai, having a home loan and a property in my name makes it much easier for me to justify staying employed and living independently. Otherwise, I feel there will be constant pressure to give up my plans and move back under my family's control.

On the risk side, my father and brother have both told me that if I were to lose my job, they would support me with EMI payments for up to 6 months while I look for another job. However, My father is not aware that I am planning for a divorce but my brother does know and he is supportive as my marriage is toxic and abusive. I honestly do not know whether that support from my father would remain unchanged once that becomes known. So while I do have that assurance today, I am not sure I should rely on it as part of my financial planning.

Because of everything happening in my personal life, losing my job is not really an option for me right now. Maintaining my income and financial independence is extremely important, which is another reason I am thinking so carefully about whether taking on a large home loan is the right decision.

At the same time, I wonder if I am making an emotional decision.

I'm only 25.

Instead of buying this flat, I could:

• Continue saving and investing for the next 2–3 years.
• Pursue higher studies abroad.
• Relocate internationally.
• Travel.
• Keep my life flexible until I know exactly where I want to settle.

So my question is:

Am I buying this flat because it's genuinely a good financial decision, or because I am trying to buy security and freedom during a difficult phase of my life?

Would buying this flat actually increase my independence, or would it end up limiting my options over the next few years?

If you were in my shoes, would you:

1. Buy the flat now?
2. Wait a few years?
3. Do something completely different?

Thank you for reading - appreciate any advice.

EDIT: I already checked with a divorce lawyer, if buying a property will affect any outcome - all advised it wont be affected.

I need some advice because I'm trying to handle two major life decisions at the same time: buying a house and divorcing my husband.

I know most people will say not to do two huge things at once, but my situation is complicated.

Why I'm divorcing

My husband and I have been married for three years. It was a love marriage despite my parents' objections. Unfortunately, the marriage has been unhealthy from the beginning, and I no longer feel that I can grow or live peacefully in it.

A few months ago, I was seriously considering separation and stayed with my parents for about two months. During that time, my husband begged for another chance, promised to change, and I decided to try again.

Recently, during an argument, he slapped me again. I am done facing emotional and physical abuse. That was the moment I mentally decided I was done with this marriage. I no longer believe this relationship can be repaired.

Why I want to buy a house

The reason is not purely financial—it's about security and independence. My parents stay abroad for most of the bit and only come for few months to India.

When I stayed with my parents during those two months, I faced a different kind of stress. My father became obsessed with the gold given to me at my wedding. The gold was already safely stored in my personal locker, which only I could access, but he repeatedly demanded that I either:

• Hand the gold over to him, or
• Buy a property in my name using it.

When I refused, there was constant pressure, arguments, threats, and emotional manipulation. Eventually, after a mediator became involved and I decided to give my marriage another chance, I handed the gold over to my parents for safekeeping because they were worried that I might give it to my husband if he asked for it.

Now that the marriage has failed again, I want to buy a property using that gold before my father can use it as leverage against me.

One more thing that may be relevant: I am not planning to seek any alimony, maintenance, or financial support from my husband during the divorce. I have a stable career, recently received a promotion, and am financially capable of supporting myself. My intention is simply to leave the marriage, secure my own future, and move on independently. The house purchase is not part of any divorce strategy against him—it's something I want for my own security and peace of mind.

My parents are part of the problem too

My father has always been controlling and suspicious of me.

Two months ago, when I was planning to leave my husband, he supported the idea of divorce. But at the same time, he was constantly threatening me about the gold and questioning my decisions.

In the past, when I traveled for work, he made comments implying that I was behaving inappropriately. For example, he would ask my mother why I needed to go on work trips and suggest that I was booking hotel rooms to sleep around, despite having absolutely no reason to believe that.

Even now, without knowing that my marriage is failing again, he'll randomly tell me not to come back home or make hurtful comments about my marriage.

My mother is supportive only to a certain extent. She has tolerated my father's behavior for decades, so her solution is usually to "adjust." When I previously discussed divorce, she became extremely distressed about what people would think. Recently, she's been encouraging me to have a child despite knowing that my marriage has serious problems.

Because of all this, I don't feel emotionally safe depending on either my husband or my parents.

The bike loan issue

While my husband and I were trying to reconcile, he wanted to buy a bike worth around ₹4 lakh.

Because he doesn't have sufficient documented income in India, he asked me to take the loan in my name and promised that he would pay the EMIs. I agreed in principle, although I was hesitant.

After the recent incident where he slapped me again, I decided not to proceed with the loan because I already knew I wanted to leave.

The problem is that I have already paid a ₹20,000 down payment, and the bike has now arrived at the showroom. I honestly don't care about losing that ₹20,000, and I have no intention of asking him to reimburse me because I believe it would create even more conflict.

He knows I won't move forward with the loan, and he's upset.

Current situation

There's now a flat available in the same building where my parents own a property. It's reasonably priced, in a location I love, and I can afford it. My parents stay for most of the part abroad and come to India only for few months. My father is planning to rent out their apartment to pay for their EMIs.

My plan is to fund most of it by selling the gold and take a manageable loan for the rest.

I'm financially independent. I recently received a promotion, and even if I lost my job, the rental income from the property would largely cover the loan payments.

To me, owning this property would mean having a safe place of my own and not being dependent on either my husband or my parents.

My dilemma

Only the mediator currently knows that I'm planning to divorce.

My husband is emotionally unstable right now. He keeps talking about being lonely, having nobody, failing as a son and husband, and making comments that sound borderline suicidal.

My parents think everything is fine because they believe the reconciliation worked.

So I'm stuck between two options:

Option 1: Keep my divorce plans private, proceed with the property purchase first, and then inform everyone once the flat is secured.

The challenge with this option is that I may need my husband to appear supportive of the purchase so that everything seems normal to my family. At the same time, I'm not sure whether him knowing about the purchase could create complications during the divorce process, so I would need to discuss that with a lawyer. (please suggest some advice which I can discuss with a lawyer)

Option 2: Tell my parents now that I'm planning to separate, and then proceed with the property purchase.

My concern with this option is that my parents may create chaos, pressure me, interrogate me constantly, and potentially interfere with the purchase process.

If you were in my position, would you secure the property first and then start the separation process, or would you disclose your separation plans now?

I'm looking for practical and strategic advice rather than moral judgments.

I need some advice because I'm trying to handle two major life decisions at the same time: buying a house and divorcing my husband.

I know most people will say not to do two huge things at once, but my situation is complicated.

Why I'm divorcing

My husband and I have been married for 3 years. It was a love marriage despite my parents' objections. Unfortunately, the marriage has been unhealthy from the beginning and I no longer feel I can grow or live peacefully in it.

A few months ago, I was seriously considering separation and stayed with my parents for about two months. During that time, my husband begged for another chance, promised to change, and I decided to try again.

Recently, during an argument, he slapped me again. I am done with facing emotional and physical abuse. That was the moment I mentally decided I was done.

Why I want to buy a house

The reason is not purely financial, it's about security and independence.

When I stayed with my parents during those two months, I faced a different kind of stress. My father became obsessed with the gold given to me at my wedding. The gold was already safely stored in my personal locker that only I could access, but he repeatedly demanded that I either:

1. Hand the gold over to him, or
2. Buy a property in my name using it.

When I refused, there was constant pressure, arguments, threats, and emotional manipulation. Eventually, after a mediator became involved and I decided to give my marriage another chance, I handed the gold over to my parents for safekeeping because they were scared I will give off this gold to my husband if asked.

Now that the marriage has failed again, I want to buy a property using that gold before my father can use it as leverage against me.

One more thing that may be relevant: I am not planning to seek any alimony, maintenance, or financial support from my husband during the divorce. I have a stable career, recently received a promotion, and am financially capable of supporting myself. My intention is simply to leave the marriage, secure my own future, and move on independently. The house purchase is not part of any divorce strategy against him - it's something I want for my own security and peace of mind.

My parents are part of the problem too

My father has always been controlling and suspicious of me.

Two months ago, when I was planning to leave my husband, he supported divorce. But at the same time, he was constantly threatening me about the gold and questioning my decisions.

And in the past when I used to go for work trips - He has also made comments accusing me of inappropriate behavior during work trips, despite having absolutely no reason to believe that. For example: he used to tell my mom, why am I going to work trips and telling that I am booking hotels and going (implying I am sleeping around). My mom used to respond him telling my own husband doesnt have a problem then why would he have an issue.

Even now, without knowing my marriage is failing again, he'll randomly taunt me - not to come back home or make taunting comments about my marriage.

My mother is supportive only to a certain extent. She has tolerated my father's behavior for decades, so her solution is usually to "adjust." When I previously discussed divorce, she became extremely distressed & depressed (she also took a lot of medication) about what people would think. Recently, she's been encouraging me to have a child despite knowing my marriage has serious problems.

Because of all this, I don't feel emotionally safe depending on either my husband or my parents.

The bike loan issue

While my husband and I were trying to reconcile, he wanted to buy a bike worth around ₹4 lakh.

Because he doesn't have sufficient documented income in India, he asked me to take the loan in my name and promised he would pay the EMIs. I agreed in principle, although I was hesitant.

After the recent incident where he slapped me again, I decided I would not proceed with the loan because I already knew I wanted to leave. My eyes opened up that he is just being selfish.

The problem is that I have already paid a ₹20,000 down payment, and the bike has now arrived at the showroom. (I dont care abt that 20k and i am not planning to ask my husband or else he will lose his mind)

He knows I won't move forward with the loan and he's upset.

Current situation

There's now a flat available in the same building where my parents own a property. It's reasonably priced, in a location I love, and I can afford it.

My plan is to fund most of it by selling the gold and take a manageable loan for the rest.

I'm financially independent. I recently received a promotion, and even if I lost my job, the rental income from the property would cover the loan payments.

To me, owning this property would mean having a safe place of my own and not being dependent on either my husband or my parents.

My dilemma

Only the mediator currently knows that I'm planning to divorce.

My husband is emotionally unstable right now, talking about being lonely, having nobody, failing as a son and husband, and making comments that sound borderline suicidal.

My parents think everything is fine because they believe the reconciliation worked.

So I'm stuck between two options:

Option 1: Keep the divorce plans private to myself, proceed with the property purchase first, and then inform everyone once the flat is secured. Here, I need to figure how to convince my husband to be part of the purchase as it needs to seem normal to my family. Plus idk if him knowing I am buying this house will be a problem during my divorce need to check this with a lawyer.

Option 2: Tell my parents now that I'm planning to separate, and then proceed with the property purchase. My concern with Option 2 is that my parents will create chaos, pressure me, interrogate me constantly, and potentially interfere with the purchase process.

If you were in my position, would you secure the property first and then start the separation process, or would you disclose the separation plans now?

I'm looking for practical and strategic advice rather than moral judgments.

I (25F) and my husband (34M) have been married for 3 years. I made a previous post about my marriage here: https://www.reddit.com/r/MuslimMarriage/s/thijx8dCj1 . Please read the previous link its important to know this. (Emotional, mental & physical abuse is involved)

A few months ago, I stayed at my parents’ house for 2 months because I was seriously considering leaving. During those 2 months, my husband cried, begged, promised to change, and asked for another chance. A family mediator got involved and encouraged both of us to work on the marriage.

One of my biggest concerns has always been issues with my in-laws. I told my husband that if we were going to make this work, we needed to move out. He asked for 1 year. The mediator pushed for 6 months and even shared his own experience of moving out after marriage and how it ultimately benefited his family. The mediator also advised me not to keep bringing up moving out after I returned home and instead focus on repairing our relationship.

I went back.

Within a month, we had another argument. During it, my husband left the WhatsApp group that included me, him, and the mediator. He said that all the promises he made no longer mattered because I wasn’t “behaving properly.”

Then he slapped me. Again. this isn’t the first time.

This happened on May 18.

Afterward, he completely broke down. He repeatedly apologized, cried, begged at my feet, asked me not to tell anyone, said it was a reflex and that he didn’t mean to do it. For the last two weeks he has been emotionally unstable, constantly apologizing, and at times expressing suicidal thoughts.

Instead of telling my parents, I informed the mediator. Ironically, the same mediator who had encouraged me to give the marriage another chance told me that I need to think carefully about why I would want to continue accepting this kind of humiliation. He advised me to stay neutral and decide whether I truly want this marriage.

The truth is, I don’t think this marriage will work.

I’m not financially dependent on him. To be fair, after I returned, I did see some positive changes. He started washing his own plates, putting clothes for laundry, helping around the house, and generally making more effort.

But I feel like something broke after the slap.

It’s been about 20 days since it happened. Yesterday we were physically intimate, and honestly, I didn’t want to be. I feel like I’ve already checked out emotionally. I don’t look at him the same way anymore. I don’t know if I can ever respect him again.

What keeps stopping me is guilt. I feel sad for him. I feel like if I leave, he’ll have nobody. I know he’s struggling emotionally. But at the same time, I know staying may not be the right decision for me.

I genuinely believed this last chance would be different. Instead, things escalated further.

Please be honest with me. If I’m missing something, tell me. If I’m making excuses for behavior that shouldn’t be excused, tell me that too. I need the courage to make the right decision.