u/Life_Magazine7709

So I’m at the point where I feel like carrying this second life is burdening me, and I feel like to reach the next level of my life I have to get rid of it. This however, is obviously a little easier said than done because cutting off an entire part of my personality is little heartbreaking but I feel like it’s what I have to do. Am I setting myself up for a midlife crisis in 30 years? and what else should I know before going through with this?

So I’m 19 amab and I don’t think I’m trans but I’m definitely gender non conforming (I like to present really feminine at times) and I have no personal shame for the way I am, but I know other people would shame me if I was completely open about who I am, and it’d make my life a lot easier if I just snipped that part of myself. If I don’t then I either have to live two lives forever which is exhausting and I something I don’t want to do, or I have to just be open about who I am to the world, and I’d love to do that if people didn’t make such a big deal out of it. I know if I came our It’d immediately like nuke most of my social circle, it would complicate career development as well, and don’t get me started on my parents… The other night I decided to bag up everything that I owned the wasn’t strictly masculine to throw away, but when I woke up the morning after doing that I felt very conflicted, and as I prepared to throw away like an entire half of myself I decided to stop and ask for outside advice before I liked the trigger. this would all be so much easier if people just didn’t make a big deal out of queer identity but unfortunately that’s not the case! Any advice is appreciated thank you guys