u/Lilysurf

My partner, 63 yo male had back fusion 5 weeks ago. He owns a landscape company for 30 years and was extremely fit and strong for his age. In 2022 he was bit by and recovered from a nasty recluse spider bite, then underwent a year of chemo and radiation for throat cancer — but that was a piece of cake compared to the physical pain from this surgery. To make things worse, he has a bad left knee and needs a replacement but his doctor said he should get the back fixed first and then go for the knee later. However, his left thigh has been numb since the surgery so along with the bad knee he can’t use his left leg at all and needs a walker. He’s been on Oxy, muscle relaxers, Tylenol and weed but the Oxy are the only relief he truly gets and he hates to keep having to take them. He is normally a hyper energetic physical guy but he sleeps and stays in his recliner most of the day. He goes to PT once a week but it is painful. He is starting to think he will “never be the same” and is starting to doubt everything which isn’t like him. I know it’s hard for men like him to be without their physical strength but I don’t know how to help him mentally. I am retired so I take care of him and our home and one thing I do daily is give him a full body massage which helps physically and emotionally. Please tell me there is a light at the end of this tunnel!