u/Linaahren

Finely I've identified one of my biggest problems.

Do to 20years of psychological abuse in childhood I was never thought what I needed or what I wanted.

So now as a 28year old, happily married woman I face a huge problem when I'm home alone. (My husband tends to work away from home every other week, and then he is home every other week.)

I call it want/ need,/should problem.

I end up in a mental war with myself about want I want to do(sleep, eat ice cream watch Netflix all night etc), what I need to do(my own needs, usuly for my own health )and what I should do(choirs).

Then I end up questening myself. I'm fooling myself or are the principals of everyday tasks just a socal cunstrusct to control people and what is technically possible/logical.

Usually I end up giving myself a headache or start cleaning and doing chores at 11 pm because of shame and after 30min relising I'm being sutid and than go to bed hoping I'm in a good enough mood to pick up were i left off.

I get so fucking tired of myself because if all this. I'm trying to find a good therapist to help with this.

Anyone else has this problem???

So me and my husband is moving to a new house. It is what we call "death house" (dödsbo). Wich means that the owner has died and don't have any hairs. I do not know if the person died in the house (don't think so though, doesn't feel that way) but it's still someone's home.

So my question, how do I best cleans it?? Just the good old regular smudge or should I be a bit more specific??