u/LingonberryGrouchy18

++woman

I’m hoping to gain clarity on a situation I think I messed up on. That I don’t fully understand. I wanna send someone some screenshots of an interaction in which a guy I was seeing for two weeks ended that I’m not sure how to process. I admit I was being avoidant. Especially since on our third date we kissed and I put a boundary I need to slow things down so not to freak myself out. But I also am not sure if maybe I just was never meant for this guy hence why he said he couldn’t commit and cut things off.

Thank you

I’ve spent most of my life with the shadow of being parentified, financially abused, not focusing on myself and being the person I want to be. I realised I need to let these things go after things ended with a guy I was seeing who was exactly what I wanted for long term but he said he wasn’t ready. That I kept him at arms length, I tend be avoidant nor do I voice or talk about the issues I have which isolates me more. Wrong timing. I was being avoidant. I thought it wouldn’t effect me but I’ve broken down in tears and realised I’ve let my whole life (29F) be dictated by keeping myself alone in my thoughts because I was taught I didn’t matter and to put other first but it also meant putting others beyond a intimate boundary where they wouldn’t see me vulnerable but especially when it comes to men I struggle to form friendships or trust masculine energy and I feel I need to heal that part.

I’m curious if any men here may share their perspective around loneliness and I guess what they would say to me in this situation? I feel perhaps that kind of energy is what I’d need now.