RIP Lord Chonk
The other day I hired two pawns to replace the first ones I got. One was a lady archer, who I still have, and the other was Lord Chonk. Lord Chonk was a Thief, towered over my Arisen and other pawns, and looked like the kind of man who would kill you just for making eye-contact. But Lord Chonk was the sweetest of all my pawns, even my main. He sounded like a gentle anime protagonist. He had such nice things to say about everyone, and even though we weren't together for as long as my first pawns, we accomplished a heck of a lot together, enough that he once commented: "We're inseparable, aren't we?"
So you can imagine my HEARTBREAK, when all that comes to an end one day. We're making our way along the river line north towards Eini's house, when suddenly Lord Chonk tells me he knows where a treasure chest is. Happily I let him lead us there (Lord Chonk turned out to be the Font of All Knowledge when it came to hidden chests. He takes a left at a point where two bits of land jut out into the river on either side, allowing us to cross over onto the cliff opposite. There on a higher point is the chest, with a harpy guarding it. Lord Chonk immediately engages. There's not enough space for us all to tussle so I hang back with my other pawns. We watch helplessly as Lord Chonk goes airborne, impales the harpy, and drops into the water below. There's nowhere for him to escape. The brine takes him, leaving a dead harpy floating in the water.
I'm gutted. I never made him my favourite, but he was my favourite. I don't even remember what I got out of that chest, but it wasn't worth it.
RIP Lord Chonk. Please stop fighting on cliffs.