u/Little_Beginning8239

Hi everyone, I’m preparing for UPSC, MPSC 2027 and currently don’t have much of a peer network for competitive exams.

32 M. I’m a Group A officer in the Central Government with a regular 10–5 job. My job is flexible and chill. I’m planning to seriously prepare for MPSC alongside my job.

I appeared for MPSC 2026 Prelims first time without study after a ~2-year gap in UPSC preparation and missed cutoff by around 10 marks. I have previously prepared for UPSC and covered most standard GS sources (Spectrum, Geography/PMF, Polity, etc.), but I need to work significantly on revision/retention, MPSC-specific factual content and Maharashtra-specific preparation.

I’m confused between:
Near home : Library, 5 minutes from home, very convenient and saves ~80 minutes of daily travel.

Sadashiv Peth, Pune( Like Karol Bagh, Delhi ): much larger study environment with many UPSC/MPSC aspirants, potentially better for peer interaction, guidance and discussions, but around 40 minutes each way. Total 80 mins.

Since I feel I could benefit from some peer support and competitive environment, is Sadashiv Peth actually worth the additional travel, or would near home be better for focused self-study? I’ll be joining library.

Would especially appreciate opinions from MPSC/UPSC aspirants currently studying , particularly about whether the peer environment is genuinely useful.

Hi everyone, I’m preparing for UPSC and **MPSC 2027** and currently don’t have much of a peer network for competitive exams.

I’m a **Group A officer in the Central Government** with a regular 10–5 job. My job is chill and flexible. I’m planning to seriously prepare for MPSC alongside my job.

I appeared for **MPSC 2026 Prelims first time without study after a \~2-year gap in UPSC preparation** and missed the cutoff by around **10 marks**. I have previously prepared for UPSC and covered most standard GS sources (Spectrum, Geography/PMF, Polity, etc.), but I need to work significantly on **revision/retention, MPSC-specific factual content and Maharashtra-specific preparation**.

I’m confused between study room :-
**Near my home :** study room 5 minutes from home, very convenient and saves \~80 minutes of daily travel.

**Sadashiv Peth, Pune :** much larger study environment with many UPSC/MPSC aspirants, potentially better for peer interaction, guidance and discussions, but around 40 minutes each way, total 80 minutes.

Since I feel I could benefit from some **peer support and competitive environment**, is Sadashiv Peth actually worth the additional travel, or would near home will be better for focused self-study?

Would especially appreciate opinions from **MPSC/UPSC aspirants currently studying** , particularly about whether the peer environment is genuinely useful.

I’m 32M, a Group A Central Government officer. I cleared UPSC and CAT, received an offer from a top old IIM but chose not to join. I also cleared UGC-NET with an All India Rank in the top 3%. I live in Pune, am well-educated (PG completed), and financially stable, with a 3-floor house in Pune and two plots worth several crores.

I have hearing loss- Due to infection after birth ( Not Genetic or congenital ) and use small behind-the-ear hearing aids in both ears, which aren’t very noticeable. I can communicate well with my hearing aids and confidently give presentations, press conferences, etc. Like when meet to people, they generally tell me, you are communicating like normal human being only. They tell me it’s not that major problem.

Till date my father was telling about my hearing aid’s in first call only. But we found that most people overestimate my issue, like I’m not good communicator n all.

For matrimonial matches, which approach would be best?

A. My parents discuss the biodata normally → 2–3 calls with the girl → I personally disclose about hearing aids to her at the first meeting.

B. My parents disclose my hearing aids to her parents during the initial parent-to-parent call → then we talk and meet.

C. I disclose it directly to the girl during the first phone call, and if she’s comfortable, we meet.

I feel A allows her to get to know my personality first while still being transparent before things progress. My mother prefers B to avoid wasting time, while my friends prefer A.

What would you recommend?

*About me
32M, Class-1 Gazetted Officer (Govt. of India).
Stable career, educated & financially secure family.
( Hearing disability ) , but I hear well with bilateral hearing aids. I conduct meetings, presentations and press conferences independently.

*About her
28F, Class-III Government employee, State-level Kabaddi player.
*( Past Lymph-node TB history- relapse twice, suspected bipolar disorders - doctor said mania, depression, trauma and constant suicidal thoughts, Asthma, migraine )
Father: farmer; mother: homemaker.
Lower-middle-class family with ~4 acres farmland and a small village house. Very backwards thoughts by parents like during period girl should stay in separate room, boy and girl comparison, her mother also compare her with successful people and humiliated her. Her brother was also used to beat her till she was 25.

*Relationship and marriage talks-
Lasted ~3 months.
Initially we discussed marriage through Bharat matrimony, later we connected and talked about children and our future.We became emotionally attached. Earlier 2 months were good, we were happy. Later major stress triggered happened as she was having stress due to parental rejection, financial issues and exam failure.

Things she disclosed after ~2 months
Previous bipolar diagnosis (as she told me).
Past suicidal thoughts.
Lymph node TB with 2 relapses.
Asthma & psoriasis.

In first 2 months she was stable.

Last month - ( Major triggers happened here- her parents said no to our marriage, she got that parents didn’t save anything for her marriage, financial issues at home, she failed in important class 2 exam and first blamed relationship, but later told me it’s her fault )

Since then,

Extreme mood swings.
Saying she don’t want children
Frequent crying.
Suicidal threats/statements.
Psychiatrist reportedly discussed mania, depression and trauma, but she wasn’t continuing treatment consistently.

She repeatedly said:
She don’t want to marry with me or anyone due to mental issues ( 70% times she don’t wanna marry, 30% times she does )
“Leave me.”
“You’ll suffer with me.”
“I can’t give you attention.”
“You’ll be happier without me.”
My family is bad, their behaviour is bad, we don’t have money

( She’s not taking treatment despite my frequent follow up )

* Family situation
According to her, her parents argued several times every day, verbally abused each other in front of the children, and her father used to physically assault her mother in front of them. Abusive language is very common in the home. No celebration of anything, not even birthday.

Brothers: 34 (married, anger issues) & 32 (violent).
Younger brother breaks things at home if father refuses money. He Failed in multiple businesses; she still gives him ₹30–40k/month for his JCB business because he pressures her.
She has a ₹14 lakh personal loan, mainly for helping parents.
Parents used money saved for her marriage (~₹10 lakh) to fund her brother’s business and may need another personal loan later for her marriage from her. She shared significant lifelong family trauma.

*Marriage issue
Her father accepted my hearing disability and reportedly said “Her problems are bigger than his hearing disability.”
Mother & brother opposed the marriage because relatives/society would judge them due to my hearing aids.
They also rejected us because we don’t own farmland/a village house, despite my family being settled in Pune.

*My support
Accepted every health issue after disclosure.
Took her for psychiatric consultation.
Supported her emotionally for hours, encouraged treatment, reassured her I’d stand by her.
My mother also met her; she behaved completely normally then. I haven’t disclosed whole situation to my family. When she shared TB history to me she requested me not to disclose to anyone. Also she told me she don’t wanna marry anyone due to her mental issue ( suspected bipolar ) and don’t want to deceive me, but if her parents pressured her then she will conceal all past TB and mental history, otherwise no one will marry to her.

*Why I ended it
I still loved her, but I became worried about:
untreated mental health concerns,
repeated suicidal statements,
repeated requests for me to leave,
severe family dysfunction,
financial burdens,
late disclosure of major health issues.
She genuinely believed marrying me would make me suffer. I wanted her to take treatment and later thinking about marriage. But she thinks that she won’t improve and not taking treatment.

Did I abandon someone who needed support, or was ending the relationship the right decision because marriage requires long-term stability as well as love? Still she’s texting me saying she love me, but she and her family are not good for us.