Any tips on hearing a newborn at night?
Hello, kinda new to Reddit so I’m sorry if the post is in the wrong place or it’s typed out wrong. We are recently a family of 5, Me dad (27) my wife (25) oldest boy (4) oldest daughter (2) and newborn daughter. I’ve never had this problem with the other 2 kids we have, but with our newborn I’ve been struggling to wake up when she cries at night and it’s driving my wife to hate me. Our newborn is extremely quiet when she cries, when my wife hears a peep out of her she wakes up immediately but I don’t for some reason. I want to help and I want to take the load off of her but I don’t know what to do or try. I talked to her about setting alarms to wake myself up throughout the night but my wife said it would just wake her up even more. With our last baby it was the complete opposite, I did every night feeding and did everything at night for her but our newborn daughter doesn’t wake me up in the slightest with her light cries and I’ve now got multiple angry middle of the night texts from my wife expressing her hatred tword me not hearing the baby. I’ve asked for her to wake me up but she says what’s the point if shes already awake. Im the only income and she’s a stay at home mom, i want to take the load off her as much as possible but im failing at waking up at night and failing at splitting the 3-5 hours a night i get at home between our toddlers that need someone to get up and help constantly, the newborn, doing the chores, and cooking dinner. I work 7 days a week and I am usually getting up and leaving the house by 4 am to get to work so there is 2 night feedings Im missing every night so far. i try to focus on the toddlers when I am home so my wife can heal and sit with the newborn as i get up and do the playing and helping of the toddlers. I honestly just want to be a good dad and I just feel like I’m failing at being a family of 5. Any tips on what to do so I can wake up for the baby? Or any tips on what I can do to be an even better dad? I’m open to all criticism, my kids and my wife are my entire motivation for life and I feel like I’m failing them as a whole.
EDIT: Okay I decided to make an edit because I’ve had a lot of the same questions. The baby sleeps in a bassinet between us in bed, we tried the bed side on my side of the bed like we did with the last child, our last child wouldn’t take a bottle or calm down when my wife tried to help, I had to do it all and it was extremely rough especially when I go to bed at 10 so I can be up by 4 to head to work but I was okay and am still okay with doing that again, but my wife didn’t like that arrangement after the first night of them being home so we switched. Our daughter is just extremely quiet when she does cry sometimes it’s hard to hear her with the bedroom fan on so we’ve had to keep that off so I can try to hear better. She is just fed up with the lack of sleep, I’ve offered to just sleep on the couch and having the baby in a bassinet next to me but she says if I don’t hear her now what would make me think I’ll hear her in the living room (fair point) so she dosent want to do that because if I don’t wake up she has to walk across the house if she does hear her. Idk I’m just lost and looking for answers to help without making my wife even more upset over the situation.