u/Living_Resolve_6787

need genuine advice. i am struggling mentally right now but i don't want to bother my girlfriend (she loves me don't worry), she's just in pain too much and if i open up to her, i won't be able to handle her and i don't want her to let down. for some time. but at the same time, i am also struggling.. so can someone tell me what to do. how do i forget about my problems just for few days so that i can be fully be there for her. she is suicidal right now.

i can't meet her, i can only be there for her through texts and calls. (sometimes no calls too-) just tell me genuine ways to totally focus on her pain. and what should i do, what i shouldn't do, during this phase. because i am kinda immature when it comes to this, i tend to worry too much and because of this, i tend to hurt the person unknowingly.. so i don't really want to hurt her.

teach me how to be mature and responsible.

Just want to vent and also advice on how to handle someone who's in pain rn, it's been hard because I'm in pain myself too but I can't just let it go because I love them

Yea- before you call me an attention seeker ( maybe, I am? I will probably delete this-), i think something's wrong with me. Like mentally and clinically. I am 18f and the only thing I am certain about my life is that I am bi and that I'm in a happy committed relationship. But, career wise, I'm all fcked up. University wise, I'm all fcked up. For me- career, success, discipline matters a lot. Like a lot. But if you ask me today, if I'm satisfied I'm going to this college, or if I'm satisfied with the course I'm opting for- I would say a big NO. but I will adjust, ig? Idk where the hunger for success came from, is it because my zodiac sign is capricorn or is it because I am the eldest daughter or I have been named as the "intelligent" child since my childhood.

Since 13, nothing in my life has ever gone well. I thought, well it's just the confusing puberty teenage phase but I was wrong.. or is it still going on? I have sui\*\* thoughts almost everyday. I have tried all of the substan\*\* in this world, leaving drug$ I have done all of the crazy things you can't do before 21. And for what? Mostly, to escape from my head and myself. Yes, myself. if you ask me who's my biggest enemy.. it's my own mind and body.

Before you start commenting- "take therapy!!" I have. Did it help? No. All I learnt was.. "be social, love yourself, accept yourself" yea, nothing happened. I just pretended the meds worked. And I healed. But I have never got the opportunity to heal. I have always preferred to run away and escape. Is it crazy for me to desperately know a clinical diagnosis so that I feel like.. "okay, I have this. I know something's wrong with me, i can fix it" but hell- when I don't even know what really is wrong with me.. how can I fix it?

And now when I'm going to the university, I'll do the same there. escape. Wear a mask. And pretend like I'm happy and everything is going well. I'll maybe have 2-3 friends and I'll miss my girlfriend every single day. But will I ever heal? Will I ever stop feeling like I'm the absolute piece of shit?

I have no answers. I never have answers.

But if you ask me, how to wear a proper mask, how to mold yourself, I have many answers..