Im so cis that id gladly sell my soul to the first buyer if they could make me wake up as an anime girl. But who wouldn't yk? If only life were that easy.
I keep grabbing the bottles of pills and just staring at them like im some sort of addict.
This is all very cis behavior im sure of it.
I have my initial hrt appointment in a week and im trying to stop myself from thinking taking the magic pills are going to solve all my problems. I need to see a psychiatrist or a psychologist because I have serious issues that need to be addressed. And im just bottling everything and letting the rest of my life go to crap as I wither away all day.
I doubt I can do it on my own because im just imploding without any external support. I need to tell someone or im just doing to like explode at some point.
Does anyone have tips for talking to family, there are people who will 100% support me. I just dont know how to do it because Im not open with any of them about literally anything. The more I sit around the more my life is kind of going to shit and I hate to keep watching it and not do anything about it. Im just at a loss, and im feeling demotivated and hopeless.
If hrt doesn't make me an anime girl in 24 hrs then like is it really worth it???? Lmao (joking). Anyways any advice is appreciated:)
I need to talk to someone in my life about being trans. Not because I need approval in transitioning but because I just need help and support. I dont really know how to have the conversation, I know who I will be telling first is 100% going to be supportive I just feel lost in what to say or how.
They are not one of my parents but they will come after our discussion. I dont need to have this conversation but I need help getting a psychiatrist and psychologist as fast as possible. I think explaining this to them and discussing how to tell my parents is what I need. Anyways im kind of all over the place this isn't too clear but if anyone has any advice it'd be much appreciated. Thanks.
Booked an initial appointment for hrt about a week ago but already got cold feet and doubts. It was booked out of a stint of passion and excitement because I want those changes bad. Immediately over the last few days I got nervous, then regret and wanted to cancel because I dont think I am ready. Plus im dealing with a ton of mental issues so im not sure if im in a great state of mind to commit. Then I got activated mid lecture talking about hormones lmao and got really sad. Now ive been in some wack delirium over the fact that I cant even trust myself to make clear decisions.
I have a feeling that I will not and wont ever fit into trans culture. I haven't started transitioning nor have I fully accepted im probably trans but I cant shake that feeling.
I absolutely hate cis male culture and would do anything to be away from it. I'd rather be a girl and be seen as a girl by other girls. But honestly I think the thought of being perceived as transgender gives me far more anxiety than just trying to deal with myself. And the idea existing in trans spaces makes me, uncomfortable? Just like im not supposed to be there, im an outsider to most "cultures" but for some reason it feels especially strong with this.
The "point" of transitioning is to help yourself find the real you. I'd be happier if I got to be me but girl but my brain cannot comprehend that the real me is possibly trans instead of seeing it as just being a girl. The thought of seeing an alternative potentially slightly more feminine version of myself is, unsettling? I honestly dont think I could stand that anymore than I can stand me now.
Its horrible mindset and I have zero idea what to even do. I severely doubt im cis but the alternative just makes me feel some sort of mix of guilt, shame, and anger sometimes. I know transitioning would make me happier at least I think it would, I even have an hrt appointment because I want it bad. I feel more hopeful for that future then the mess I have going on now but I just cant shake those feelings and it might soon hold me back to be honest.
Does anyone have any idea what to do? Any questions are appreciated.
Disclamer: I posted this on asktransgender and was sent a podcast link about Autogynephilia. Frankly I have no clue what that is and I cant tell if its some right wing propaganda or something genuine. Anything I find online points to people calling it a psudoscience which I can see why. I welcome help in trying to understand my emotions and whether that leads me to stop wanting to transition or make me want to transition more. I have no intentions of burying emotions under transphobia and hate. Rather im seeking to understand them from a unbiased and honest viewpoint so I can actually be happy. Thanks!
I have a feeling that I will not and wont ever fit into trans culture. I haven't started transitioning nor have I fully accepted im probably trans but I cant shake that feeling.
I absolutely hate cis male culture and would do anything to be away from it. I'd rather be a girl and be seen as a girl by other girls. But honestly I think the thought of being perceived as transgender gives me far more anxiety than just trying to deal with myself. And the idea existing in trans spaces makes me, uncomfortable? Just like im not supposed to be there, im an outsider to most "cultures" but for some reason it feels especially strong with this.
The "point" of transitioning is to help yourself find the real you. I'd be happier if I got to be me but girl but my brain cannot comprehend that the real me is possibly trans instead of seeing it as just being a girl. The thought of seeing an alternative potentially slightly more feminine version of myself is, unsettling? I honestly dont think I could stand that anymore than I can stand me now.
Its horrible mindset and I have zero idea what to even do. I severely doubt im cis but the alternative just makes me feel some sort of mix of guilt, shame, and anger sometimes. I know transitioning would make me happier at least I think it would, I even have an hrt appointment because I want it bad. I feel more hopeful for that future then the mess I have going on now but I just cant shake those feelings and it might soon hold me back to be honest.
Does anyone have any idea what to do? Any questions are appreciated.