Help? Said no to being a bridesmaid and now we’re not talking.
Hi everyone, I’m getting married next September and I have a friend who is getting married the week before me. They asked me to be a bridemaid and I said no since my own wedding is so close and I didn’t think I would have the extra time to dedicate to being a bridesmaid for them. Well, they were hurt, which I can understand and respect, but what followed after were snarky and confrontational comments from them. It turned into one of those “gotcha” conversations where I felt like they wanted to “win” the conversation with the things they were saying. I tried to explain my side but I wasn’t getting through. I stopped responding shortly after cause it wasn’t going anywhere good.
Unfortunately, I anticipated this reaction as I’ve seen them not accept “no” for an answer before or you have to explain why it’s a no to them and such and even then if they don’t accept it, they will be annoyed. It’s why when they asked me, my stomach dropped cause I knew I had to say no and potentially upset them. I’m still hurt and confused. To be a bridesmaid is a huge honor, but when I say no, this is the response and treatment I get?
Well, now I’m in a dilemma. I still care for this person and the way that convo ended still sits with me. However, I want to stand up for myself and make it clear it’s not okay to treat me this way. Originally I indicated I would attend their wedding before the convo turned sore and now I’m not sure I want to put in the effort and time to attend their wedding if this is how they think they can treat me.
Some people tell me it wasn’t right how they talked to me, some people say the right thing to do would be to attend their wedding and still invite them to mine. Some say I should reach back out to them, some say I should wait to see if they’ll reach out to me.
Anyone ever been in this situation before? What did you do?