u/LoomingPineTrees

3 Attitudes to Same‐Sex Activity in Anglo‐Saxon England: earg, the Penitentials, and OE bædling | Between Medieval Men: Male Friendship and Desire in Early Medieval English Literature | Oxford Academic

This paper suggests that being the masculine male "top" was socially just fine in that society, but being the receptive "bottom" as a man was highly stigmatized.

Being an "ergi" - or effeminate male - was socially prohibited. The Catholic Church would later have influence in England.

This was very similar to ancient Greek society in that regard. There were no so-called "gay people." There were just what we would call today "male tops" (whether it was with a woman or a man) or an effeminate "male bottom".

We know that Tacitus says that men were drowned in swamps for receptive homosexual acts. However, men in these continental tribes were still often free to rape pre-pubescent boys as they pleased, since they were the dominant masculine penetrator. This culture crossed Britain as it became early England. (Homosexuality isn't even mentioned by the Laws of Wihtred, however.)

I thought this was interesting, and I have never thought about it before.

note: Also, being a "feminized" victim of sexual violence in ancient was clearly stigmatized and played a role in shaping the social hierarchy. This stigma extended to consensual relationships.

Their language itself was gendered.

"Man" and "woman" translated to "he-person" and "she-person."

Did they have a strict sense of what was "proper" for males and females? Their society was quite chaotic, and there were no overarching rules at first about who was "allowed" to start bearing rings or raiding other tribes. (This was before King Alfred began stifling this primitive warrior society with organized statecraft with a system of laws and writing and so on.)

In what anglo-saxon texts I can find (in west-saxon and ingvaeonic) I've never come across passages saying things like "this is the man's role and this is the woman's role," and so on. Maybe I do need to read more, but no one back then seemed excessively interested in the distinction between the sexes.

The way that always say "trans people versus women" makes me wonder what exactly they think I am.

It makes me feel like some type of dehumanized monster in the same way a cheap fantasy author would say "men and elves" or "men and orcs."

As a person who medically transitioned as a teenager and completed the process, no one is going to call me a plain old gentleman.

"Woman" is literally just the feminine word for "human being" from Old English.

I just had to get that off my chest.

Has anyone here ever done this? I'm kind of in the dark with respect to how that would work.

I think I'd need to gather a circle of associates first, and then we could figure out financing and draft a little constitution ensuring the enterprise remains a co-operative.

Any advice from people who've been there before would be nice. Thanks.

I may be alone in my experience, and I will obscure nothing about my story, no matter how much shame I feel. The following account is unpolished as I do not know if the mods will even allow me to post it.

Girls in this cult were expected to dress conservatively, wearing jean shorts or dresses every single day. As an adult, I have been ridiculed for wearing dresses with sneakers during the winter months as a result of my conditioning. (Think of Amish women.) Today, I thankfully dress no differently than anyone else. Girls were expected to bake bread, keep the house, and raise children. We were expected to marry young and push out babies like arrows from the quiver, which is why it was called “quiverfull.” The gender roles were extreme.

There was prejudice. A pastor portrayed lesbianism in a sermon as a sinful indulgence only allowed by the creator god to teach people a lesson about their transgressive ways. Lesbians were chastised for being GNC (gender-nonconforming) in terms of dress or behavior.

One time, I was to be subjected to a marriage that was to entail the unification of sperm cells with eggs, but I obviously refused. My mother was the main person behind this, but my father wasn’t quite brainwashed enough to literally force a 16-year-old into a non-consensual marriage.

My family considered me insane when I attempted to describe my desires as those of a homosexual female. They deny my orientation to this day.

Lesbianism wasn't seen as an inherent trait but some type of dark path than anyone could fall down for a time before coming back to the light of je[b]us christ almighty.

Growing up “playing house” and setting up doll-houses in a conservative christian household etched a toxic form of “femininity” into my mind. Sometimes when I say I like “femininity,” I worry I might still be partially trapped in this world. I probably need to do some work and realize that nothing is inherently “womanly,” whether it’s baking bread or wearing a skirt. (The brainwashing is so deep.) Plus, what they considered "feminine" was often centuries out of date. (Thing french-braids and dresses with long sleeves.) Conservative christians see make-up as a tool of the devil, so I never ended up learning how to use it or caring about it. But then I learned that the outside world thinks that not having make-up on is "masculine." It's all so arbitrary.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

[postscript - This forum is great. It’s the only lesbian sub with actual women in it.]

blurb:

While World War One rages, a young draft-dodger in New York wrestles with the status quo with the aid of supernatural forces and an extraordinary individual.

note:

The plot is highly adventurous in a typical genre fashion, but the manuscript is written in a slightly literary style that focuses a lot on characters.

Critique swap availability:

I am available to swap

content warnings:

extreme violence, sexual assault, suicidal ideation; R-rated content

I never knew how to express my feelings until I read about comphet. I'm so glad there's a word for this.

It's inescapable. It's just what . . . happens. Thankfully, I've NEVER touched a man sexually or romantically and never will. But I must endure this societal pressure, nonetheless.

Participating in heterosexuality is like being handed birthday cake at a party - but you're allergic to sugar. It's just . . . what everyone does and it's so hard to escape.