▲ 193 r/SWlegion

I hate tauntauns.

I hate Tauntauns. I hate them. I hate their woolly faces. I hate their horns. I hate their 2 red dice pistols. I hate when the pistols are next to the horns and I hate when the horns are next to the pistols. I hate that Rebel players can pull 6 out of their furry assholes and then descend on me like the 501st at a Star Wars convention.

I hate their Support slot icon. I hate it because it lies to me. It suggests that they are a secondary unit to the main army when they are the entire backbone and nervous system. I have a handful of starving Mandalorian cultists held together by misguided fanaticism. I do not have three pairs of ten-foot tall abominable sheep/kangaroo hybrids made of muscles and galvanized coffin nails.

I hate that they have Sharpshooter. Why a supposed melee unit is also capable of out-shooting entire line infantry squads is entirely beyond my ability to comprehend.

I hate their defences. I hate that surrounding them simply prompts one of them to pull out a US general's helmet so he can make a speech about 'now we can attack in any direction'. I hate that their reaction to a devastating charge attack from Magnaguard is to spend an unreasonable amount of Dodge tokens and become only slightly peeved. I have looked a Tauntaun in his smug kangaroo face as an encirclement that would shatter any other unit closed in, because Creature Troopers can disengage freely.

He went from :| to >:|, killed an extra four B1 droids because I had foolishly allowed him to double long-move out of engagement and then swallowed my T-series Tactical Droid like a slim jim.

I have resolved to shoot every Tauntaun dead. Every Tauntaun. All the women and children Tauntauns, too. I hate them. I no longer see battlefields because they're covered by a think cloud of orbital bombardment debris. I hate that it barely stops them. I can now no longer go to any country that has winter because the sight of snow reminds me of their stupid homeworld Hoth and it would give me palpitations.

I hate that the Bad Batch are in the same goddamn faction, who sneak in and take every POI I own while I am still struggling to deal with the Tauntauns. They also have Han and Luke on Tauntauns. This is worse.

I hate that they are the objectively best unit in Rebels and there is no competition whatsoever in the Support Slot. I hate that they don't even break three digits in points cost. I hate that while I was writing this Luke Skywalker on a Tauntaun picked up my Mandalorian Hunter and smoked her like a cigar.

I hate Tauntauns.

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u/LordRenzus — 1 month ago

Super Commandos, Warriors, and Mandalore's most toxic political couple. Victory or Death!

Reminder that in this AU, Bo definitely tops Gar

u/LordRenzus — 1 month ago

Mandalore's Most Toxic Power Couple

AU where they got into a political marriage and took over Mandalore

Bo definitely tops Gar

u/LordRenzus — 2 months ago

The Hattin Conflict (Episode Four): Reckoning

( Out-of-character Note: This is an ongoing collaborative writing project between myself and u/Wilson7277, thanks to some flashes of inspiration after the assorted 'homebrew your own military elements' posts. The setting is the Hattin System of Wilson7277's making, during the mid-to-late Clone Wars. )

(Art Credit: Arios Jentu https://ariosjentu.artstation.com/projects/Bm923D )

[ This Episode entirely written by me ]

[ Gozanti C-ROC Challenger Bridge ]

>In a rare moment of introspection, Tianna deeply regretted saying the words out loud at their last encounter that she and Pellew would see each other again soon. Those words had become prophetic in hindsight, as Tianna watched the familiar Acclamator emerge from hyperspace with several Arquitens escorts, right as the Challenger had finished powering down to dock with Aganja Station. There was no time to consider just how they’d been found. There was no doubt that the Republic had been looking for the chance to nail her to the wall.

>She cursed beneath her breath, leaning her hands against her command terminal, as her bridge crew turned to her for orders.

>“Get out of here. You know the contingency. The last one.” Tianna spoke into the comms. A certain kind of orderly chaos erupted, as the pirate officers and crew began to grab whatever they could and head towards the disembarkation bulkheads. With the Rebel Star and Wayward Recluse in an entirely different star system on shipping raids, there was no hope of taking on the Emerald, let alone the flanking light cruisers. The Red Furies wheeled about and jumped to hyperspace, splitting up to make pursuit difficult. The Corsairs’ assorted infantry dispersed into the shadowport, all pretense of docking to simply refuel and rearm abandoned. They would either lay low or seize their own transports by force to escape.

>Not Tianna, though. She stayed where she was, rubbing her eyes with one hand before keying in the comms, setting the frequency to long range, reaching out to communicate with the Emerald.

>“Alright, Pellew. You got me.” Tianna said with her characteristic, near-manic tone in her voice. “You sure you don’t want to settle this with a blaster duel? Just you and me?”

>The silence was her answer, as the Acclamator’s shadow fell across the space station, and Tianna knew that she had only one option left.

>To trust a cohort of treacherous, piratical killers to feel just enough loyalty to come back for her.

[ Action-IV Bulk Freighter Long Haul ]

>As the captured freighter jumped to hyperspace, Sakaan Keth put his back against the cold metal of the wall behind him. He maintained a mask of indifference as best he could, despite the roiling anger within that threatened to manifest in a vibro-axe blow through the skull of the nearest unfortunate soul.

>He instead settled for a fist slamming into the wall beside him, hard enough to dent the metal and set his knuckles bleeding.

>“So that’s it, huh?” Outlaw Two pulled his helmet off, sweat matting his tousled hair.

>“Not by a long shot.” Sakaan growled softly. He glanced towards Rustler One, the other corsair leader sharing the uneasy look.

>“First thing once we disembark, find a HoloNet terminal and get the back channels going. Contact the other element leaders and have them rally at Mercy Station.” Sakaan pulled out his personal datapad, going through what correspondence he maintained with less savoury parts of the galaxy’s underworld. There was a line that he could pull on. An information broker that owed him a favour, and a crime lord that the Corsairs had no love towards.

>“You’re thinking of taking back the Challenger? We’ll be lucky if the Hattins don’t burn it to scrap.” Rustler One gave a sardonic chuckle.

>“No point. We’re going to steal a second Challenger.” Sakaan answered, and judging by how silent the room fell, he knew that it was going to be a hell of a mountain to climb.

[ Acclamator-class Assault Ship Emerald, Brig Section ]

>Their eyes met for the first time.

>Pellew looked through the containment field of the solitary cell now home to the pirate captain that had given the Constabulary so much misery, and could see through the dye and the vibrant red ‘bloodstains’ that there had been a Republic officer’s uniform beneath the cutthroat presentation. There was a discipline beneath the manic killer that she presented on the outside.

>“Ensign Tianna Logan. Last stationed aboard the cruiser Victorious. Declared AWOL when unaccounted for among the ship’s casualties. Accused of defecting to piracy.” Pellew read off the dossier on her datapad, before turning her attention back onto the captive Corsair. “Quite the fall from grace.”

>Tianna’s cold smile cracked, slowly transforming into a hysterical guffaw. She threw her head back and laughed, almost without a care in the world, before locking onto Pellew with eyes gleaming with murderous intent.

>“Oh, yes, 'defected'. I love it when the paperwork makes the lies blatantly obvious.” Tianna rose from her seat, standing upright in the straight-backed pose of a Republic Navy officer. Viewed through the laser field, it came across more as mockery than imitation.

>“Cruisers Matchless and Tempered Vigilance. Captains Roan McKinney and Urgen Shol. They were on parallel patrol with the Victorious when we were ambushed by a pirate fleet and left to burn in a red giant’s gravity well. They were well within range to respond before the Victorious suffered a reactor breach and left us drifting. They never came.”

>Tianna’s smile grew wider, although the clenching of her teeth and tensing of her neck made it obvious that there was no mirth in her expression. “I spent months in pirate captivity before realizing that the Republic wasn’t coming to help. Months more before I got my chance to rip the spine out of the pirate captain in front of his crew.”

>“Is this going anywhere, pirate?” Pellew interjected with precise timing, her expression stern and unmoved.

>“More for my benefit than yours, Pellew. The only thing aside from this laser fence separating us is one bad day. Nothing I hate more than a lapdog loyal to a system that would abandon you if it meant saving face.” Tianna began to pace within the tiny space of the cell, keeping her gaze locked onto Pellew’s. “So, what’s it going to be? Public execution?”

>“Nothing so barbaric.” The Constabulary officer’s face twisted with disdain. “You’re to be detained under maximum security, then transferred to the Republic Navy for a full tribunal. Chances are, they’ll toss you in a cell very much like this one, and then throw away the key.”

>“Oh, please. I’d rather you just shoot me here and now.” Tianna rolled her eyes.

>“It’s tempting, Logan. But it’s not one bad day that separates us. You had every chance to turn away from piracy. You didn’t.” Pellew countered, although deep down, some part of that felt hollow. Circumstances weren’t meaningless. But Pellew stood by those words. If Logan had the tenacity to survive captivity and seize the kind of murderous authority pirates respected, then there was no reason other than her own volition to continue down that blood-stained path.

>As she turned to leave, Pellew heard Logan settle back into her seat.

>“Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. Bet it helps you sleep at night.”

>Pellew paused, before walking further along, leaving the doors to the brig section to hiss shut behind her.

u/LordRenzus — 2 months ago

A Thorough Glazing of Tainted Grail: Fall of Avalon

I hecking love this game. There are so many small touches and attention to detail of game design that I absolutely adore.

I love the H.R. Giger-esque take on the more fantastical parts of Arthurian myth mixed with the more grounded medieval setting.

I love the Wyrdness and how it manages to nail the 'supernatural otherworld' thing without the antagonistic malice of Warhammer's Chaos.

I love the portrayal of Arthur and the conversations you have throughout the game, and I felt more connection with this voice in my head more than Johnny Silverhand in V's head.

I love the fact that spells feel impactful.

I love the build diversity and how many times I've run into the 'oh crap I needed those upgrade materials' realization.

I love that there's a freaking sprint slide to tickle the small Apex Legends part of my brain.

I love that there's a transmog system. And even then, the armor sets already have such immaculate drip that I spent a good several hours agonizing over fashion.

I love the plot twist of >!the game's secret ending and the truth behind Arthur, the Fore-Dwellers and the Red Death.!<

This game is outstanding in so many ways for me. I love it to death.

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u/LordRenzus — 3 months ago