u/LoudAd432

Okay context: I developed a sunflower allergy as an adult. One day, I ate some sunflower seeds a friend gave me at work. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital. Apparently I had an anaphylactic reaction; my lips/tongue swelled, my throat closed, and I passed out. I had to be given 2 EpiPens, one by the EMTs and another at the hospital. When I awoke, they told me it was probably the sunflower seeds because it's a common allergen, but there's no way to know 100%. They referred me to a allergist. I had some testing done, both blood/skin, and I reacted to sunflowers both times. I didn't think too much of it because sunflowers are easy to avoid. So last week my SIL invited me to a sunflower festival. I told her no and said, you know I am allergic to sunflowers. She said, Yeah, but you aren't eating them. I responded with, Yes, but I don't know if being around thousands of sunflowers could trigger a reaction, and it is not a risk I am willing to take. She pushed back a little more, saying I was being paranoid. I said I am sorry; I have no desire to stop breathing again just to attend a festival. She got upset and told my husband's brother (her husband) that I was being ridiculous and that I accused her of trying to endanger me. My husband said it is perfectly reasonable that I don't want to expose myself to what I am allergic to. Well, she texted the family group chat that her birthday was ruined because we could no longer go to the sunflower festival for it. I didn't even respond. I didn't tell her she couldn't go, and we could go out to eat or something different if she still wanted to hang out with me. I am very confused about what I did wrong here. I didn't even know it was for her birthday.