u/Love_Buny8

For me it's usually something super niche that no one else cares about. Like the evolutionary development of ancient tool use or the surprisingly complex social structures of fungi. I'll get really into it. I'll read everything. Then someone will innocently ask me about my interests. And suddenly I'm an hour deep into explaining mycorrhizal networks. They just glaze over. I see it happening. But my brain just keeps going. It's like a switch flips and I can't stop the download. Is this just me

I'm in my late 20s and feeling a bit adrift when it comes to my oldest friends. These are the people I grew up with from elementary school through high school. We went through everything together first crushes family dramas terrible fashion choices. They were my world then. But now it feels like we're just so different.

We don't really share interests anymore. When we hang out the conversations feel stale like we're just rehashing old memories or complaining about things that don't excite me. I try to introduce new topics or activities but it usually falls flat. They seem content with the way things are. I feel like I've evolved a lot in the last few years my career my hobbies my outlook on life. And they haven't really or at least not in the same direction.

I feel guilty even thinking this. They're good people and they've always been there for me. But I also feel a bit suffocated. Like I can't fully be myself because I'm stuck in an old version of me when I'm around them. Is it wrong to want to distance myself from these foundational friendships even if there's no big blow-up or fight. It's just a slow fade I guess. How do you navigate that without feeling like a terrible person.

I have this beautiful betta fish named Neptune. He lives in a 5 gallon tank with some live plants and a little cave. I try to make his life as good as possible you know. He's a good boy.

But here's the thing. I'm really clumsy. Like really really clumsy. Every time I walk past his tank I invariably bump into the stand. Not hard enough to knock it over or anything thank goodness. Just enough to make the water ripple a bit. Sometimes a lot.

He always swims to the top when I do it. I imagine he's thinking something like 'oh no the giant is here again' or 'is the sky falling'. Then I feed him and he probably thinks 'oh okay the giant gives good gifts'.

I wonder if he thinks I am a god who just can't walk straight. Or maybe a benevolent but very uncoordinated deity. I try to be careful but it just happens. Every single day. I feel bad for him but it's also kind of funny to imagine his little fish thoughts about me.