u/Loverrrgirl02

It was the first weekend we hadn't talked much since they were both off. I knew communication would be a lot less, but going through it was a crazy feeling. I still had a good weekend, but I missed her more than I'd like to admit.

I asked her if not having to talk to me much and being more present in her life felt better. She didn't address it, so of course I'm thinking, "Well, she didn't want to address it because it did feel better and she just didn't want to hurt me." So we just ignore it and start talking about other stuff. I just now sent her a message about how I didn't want to brush past it, that I wanted to know where her head is at, because I'm sure it probably feels a little better to not be pulled by two different people. She could actually focus on her life during the weekend.

I'm not prepared for the answer I know she's going to say, but at least at that point, I can work on letting go. I know she has never meant to hurt me, and I know the love was real, but it sucks that I got so attached. I don't think any of this is easy for her either, but I know that since she has a life, she doesn't really have to worry about being hurt and being so attached.

how do you let go though? i don't want to block her as i do want us to find our way back to each other eventually - whether she's divorced or not. I just think if i step away and let time come between us then I will be able to have her and not be so attached but for now - i know i need to let go.

So she has asked for space. I had a very stupid moment where I was jealous after seeing them kiss and being cute while we were all out at the pool with friends. I did step away to get myself together but MW could see that something was wrong. Today, we talked a bit and stated she wanted us to give each other space. We are still texting regularly but no longer going to be messaging on this app where we can talk freely.

She is also dealing with a lot mentally and physically, so I know space should have already been given because I don't want to add anything unnecessary. I am VERY submissive to her so I want to be able to be there for her but I know I can't really do much. I want to be able to help more than I really can but again, I know I can't.

We have done the whole space thing before but eventually we can come back and be good for awhile. I know some people can't do the back and forth but I know space sometimes can be good to reset. I'm not willing to give this up, I'm not ready for it. However, I know space is important to avoid it being ended.

I guess I'm just really venting. I just don't know how to give space because the caring part of me just wants to be able to do much more.

How do you keep yourself from getting too attached? I find myself anxiously attached - waiting for every text back, call back, etc. I don't want to keep being overly needed and then it gets too much for them.

How to stay detached in a way where you're not obsessed with hearing them and when you do hear from them, you don't wait by the phone? We talk every day / almost all day anyways. However, when I know she's around her wife - we don't talk much or when she's busy, in general. I am very much so emotionally attached.

How to keep doing me while also holding on to this?

At 31, I've decided to move forward with my dream to be a mama, without a partner. I'm currently in school, studying for my bachelor's degree, and I have about 2 years left. I want to earn my degree before having my baby. I just don't know where to start with this journey. I have reached out to a fertility clinic that takes my insurance. I do want to start visiting with a specialist to see how my reproductive organs are doing. I also want to buy one onesie to have for each appointment, treatment, etc. Is it soon to buy a few baby things? I'm so excited to start this journey, but just nervous about getting ahead of myself.