Lighting and immediately friending, then threatening me and tried to report me to police???
I’m not even going to waste my time with a polite little "hello" or a "how do you do" because we are WAY past that.
BUT WHY??? WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS?!
You wasted your hard-earned, pixelated candles to light me up and unlock my chat box. You saw my little Sky kid walking around, minding their business, and you thought, "Yes. This is the one. This stranger is my ATM."
And what do you lead with? Not a "Hi." Not a "How are you?" Not even a "What’s your name?" NO. You hit me with: "Can you buy me the Season Pass?"
HELLO?! What happened to basic human decency?! I take this as a personal offense. It’s not just rude; it’s a level of disrespect that makes me want to log off permanently. I’m not even surprised if you're a spoiled little brat who gets whatever they want and then whines to their parents when the world says "no." Actually, you know what? I AM surprised. Surprised that you actually proved me right.
So, you lit me up, unlocked the chat, and asked for IAP. I said, "No, sorry." A perfectly reasonable, polite response.
And what do you do? You start whining. The crying emojis start flooding in. Then, the ultimate nuclear option: You threaten me. You say you're going to call your parents.
I laughed. I literally laughed out loud. I thought, "Yeah, sure, kid. Go tell your mommy that a stranger in a video game won't buy you a season pass."
But then it happened. The chat bubble pops up again. But it's not the kid. It's the parent. They are literally talking through their kids Sky kid’s avatar.
And what do they say? They say "Hey, I know it's a lot to ask, but can't you do this for a poor child? Let them live their childhood."
EXCUSE ME?! LAST TIME I CHECKED, THAT KID DID NOT COME OUT OF MY WOMB. I didn't give birth to a digital beggar. That is your spawn, your responsibility. Do I look like a Sky: Child of the Light Welfare System??? I am not responsible for funding your child's pixelated desires because you can't tell them "no."
But wait, it gets worse. Oh, it gets so much worse!
After I explain, calmly (I was very calm, trust me), that I have my own bills, my own expenses, and my own life, the parent hits me with this gem: "You're being selfish. You can afford the Van Gogh Season Pass for yourself, but you can't spare a single penny for my child?"
OF COURSE NOT?! I DON'T OWN YOUR KID ANYTHING! That is not my responsibility! My hard-earned money goes to my entertainment, not to funding the tantrums of a stranger's spawn of satan. The AUDACITY
And then the final boss of insanity. After I politely but firmly decline again, the parent says: "You're cyberbullying my child."
WHAT?!
CYBERBULLYING?!
I said "No" to a digital transaction. That is not bullying. That is called a boundary. I didn't call your kid names. I didn't harass them. I simply refused to be their personal piggy bank. But because I didn't cave to your child's demands and your terrible parenting, I'm suddenly a villain?
You know what? Fine. Call the police ! Report me for not buying a stranger's child a virtual cape. I'll wait!
What proof do you even have? Hell, I don't even think we're in the same continent!! So good luck trying to find me!
So, to the kid who lit me up: No, I won't buy you the pass. And to the parent who decided to chime in: Do your job. Teach your kid the word "no." And maybe, just maybe, save up your own "penny" to buy your child a Battle Pass instead of harassing strangers on the internet.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go block that kid and cleanse my aura with some actual candle-running. Alone.