u/Lower-Ad2640

Location: Roseville California

To make a long story short, I am autistic and 22 years old, I was told that I need caregivers in order to stay living by myself and keep my cats (so they dont go to a shelter after I get put into a group home)

I recently found out that none of that was true, I didnt HAVE to get services or ELSE id get conserved, I was lied to and coerced and scared into giving into having caregivers. But I digress.

My service coordinator had bought concert tickets to two diffrent shows, as well as one bull riding show, a cosplay with accessories and a ticket to a local anime convention, and hundreds of dollars worth of collectibles, all as incentives/gifts if i "am nice to staff" and stay with the company.

A week later, my staff leaves me alone for hours at night when I am supposed to have 24 hour care. She thought she could leave because I would be asleep, but i woke up scared because no one was there.

I find out that this is considered medical neglect, and I let adult protective services know about the situation. The staff was denying it in a group chat with me and the service coordinator, yet her excuses for what happened kept changing, the times she arrived kept changing, and the service coordinator ignored all this completely and begged me to keep her as a staff.

The service coordinator had told me that i didnt "earn" the stuff he bought me since I was "rude to staff" (all I did was report how staff was treating me wrong) and he also texted me telling me that i needed to keep the service, in order to receive everything that he bought for me.

I talked to my mom about all this, she told me that the service coordinator was essentially "buying my silence" and "pacifying" me when he was hiring workers that were subpar and didn't care about their job or helping me, so that I would "be happy" and keep the service. She got other outside opinions on this, and they all agree that I shouldn't be "bought" into keeping the peace by not advocating for myself as well as "bought" into staying with the service.

Also, the reason that he gave Alta Regional for canceling my services, is that I had been "Verbally abusive" which is crazy considering I had never once name called, swore at, or yelled about the staff neglecting me. All I had done was stick up for myself, now im being labeled as the bad guy.

Its also crazy how I am being called abusive after the staff has been abusive and/or neglectful to me in diffrent ways, which I get into in these next few paragraphs.

The service coordinator hired someone that showed up to the interview visibly intoxicated (As described by a diffrent staff that showed up to the interview as well)

This staff that arrived drunk, had shown up to my house drinking and throwing buzz balls out of her car, when she was supposed to be taking me somewhere to buy something, WHICH WOULD HAVE MEANT THAT SHE WAS PLANNING ON DRINKING AND DRIVING WITH ME, A DISABLED ADULT IN THE CAR BTW.

I also had a staff that would verbally abuse me by constantly yelling at me whenever I was confused about soemthing (I have a learning disability and he happend to have a thick accent, I couldn't always understand him right away) and he would yell at me constantly, it got to a point where he yelled at me an entire 40 minute car ride to a doctors appointment, all because I was annoyed I couldn't find his car and didnt want to be late to the appointment and had voiced my concerns. He yelled the whole way there, I kept trying to steer the conversation away from the argument so he would stop yelling at me, I was trapped in the car with him and nowhere else to go (unless I wanted to jump out and injure myself)

I had told my doctor everything after crying about it. I had asked for an uber or lyft or otherwise safe ride home, and thankfully was accommodated for.

I hate to be like, materialistic I guess, but I really wanted the stuff he bought for me, and Im upset that he's withholding the stuff from me now, because the service ended, and it also feels like it was a direct retaliation of me making an APS report, because i was not rude at the staff at ALL.

Am I able to get the stuff he bought me back? It just upsets me that he would take that from me, and i dont even have the option to buy the stuff myself now because he already bought it (The collectibles were on Ebay and the listing only had one of each item)

I just feel bad that my figurines and cosplay and tickets are now stuck with someone thats shitty. Maybe its the way I have attachment to the things I like, that they feel "real" to me when I know they are not, idk. I hope wherever my stuff is, that maybe it was given to charity or someone deserving of it?? And hopefully he didnt just throw everything away??? Regardless, since it was for me, I hope I can get the stuff back soemhow??

If the story sounds familiar, I have posted about this before, I just have more questions as time goes on and more stuff arises.

I was diagnosed by a doctor with an intertrigo rash under my pectoral masses, for lack of a better gender affirming way to describe them. The rash has been there and under my stomach for years, im a bigger guy and its hard to keep it under control. Whenever I go to the psyche ward for wanting to hurt myself, they give me cream or powder to put on it, but it never gets better or goes away at all. In fact, most of the time that I use nynstatin powder on the rash, it makes the rash suddenly itchy and also causes a lot of pain when it starts bleeding in the shower (from being scratched previously as well as gently scrubbed wirh a washcloth and soap)

The last time i had it checked out by a doctor (Honestly can't remember if this was the ER or a mental hospital bc both suck) the doctor told me that he can't prescribe me anything for the rash, because it was "Too severe and wouldn't go away without putting a cloth underneath"

I am not opposed to doing that at all, its just that it would be a huge inconvenience to have to change peices of cloth under my skin three times a day. As it stands, I get behind on laundry easily, and having to do more laundry will just stress me out. I probably wont remember to swap out the cloths for new cloths, either. I have autism and ADHD.

People frequently tell me that i should just "Wear a bra everyday" to catch the moisture and cure the rash. I even had someone tell me I HAVE to wear a bra daily, or else the rash will get worse and my "boobs will be saggy". (Could care less how my "boobs" look when I literally do not want them on my body. When I hope i can get them removed one day..)

And of course, all of this makes me dysphoric.

I haven't worn bras since high school, when I was wearing only sports bras that were too small for me so I can try to hide my chest.

I stopped wearing bras after high-school and I honestly can't remember what caused this, I think they got too small and I didn't want new ones.

Ive been going braless since, and I keep buying bras thinking I'll end up wearing them again, but I never do. Every time I wear a bra, which is barely ever, I get uncomfortable because there is pressure on my chest reminding me of the parts I have. I hate the way it looks too, I hate that it makes them look bigger, fuller, perkier, and draws attention to my waistline and hips. I have a bra I just thrifted because it looked big enough, but I still have yet to try it on because it makes me so uncomfortable to even look at. It just sits in a bin of random things. It's huge and covered in a little yellow flower print.

I also don't bind, not by choice but because I can't find a binder in my size, as well as the fact that I don't have enough money to buy a couple binders, when they are like 40-80 dollars a peice, I can't even afford one singular one most of the time, being on SSI.

Im raw dogging my chest fr 🥲

Has anyone had luck with specialized moisture wicking and bacteria killing cloths to use for the rash? Are they expensive?

Should I get a second opinion from a different doctor?

Is there anything I can do to cure the rash without putting on a br* and having my chest masses "lifted" like that.. or do I have to go through the pain of gender dysphoria for the sake of my skin 😭😭

Location: Roseville California

To make a long story short, I am autistic and 22 years old, I was told that I need caregivers in order to stay living by myself and keep my cats (so they dont go to a shelter after I get put into a group home)

I recently found out that none of that was true, I didnt HAVE to get services or ELSE id get conserved, I was lied to and coerced and scared into giving into having caregivers. But I digress.

My service coordinator had bought concert tickets to two diffrent shows, as well as one bull riding show, a cosplay with accessories and a ticket to a local anime convention, and hundreds of dollars worth of collectibles, all as incentives/gifts if i "am nice to staff" and stay with the company.

A week later, my staff leaves me alone for hours at night when I am supposed to have 24 hour care. She thought she could leave because I would be asleep, but i woke up scared because no one was there.

I find out that this is considered medical neglect, and I let adult protective services know about the situation. The staff was denying it in a group chat with me and the service coordinator, yet her excuses for what happened kept changing, the times she arrived kept changing, and the service coordinator ignored all this completely and begged me to keep her as a staff.

The service coordinator had told me that i didnt "earn" the stuff he bought me since I was "rude to staff" (all I did was report how staff was treating me wrong) and he also texted me telling me that i needed to keep the service, in order to receive everything that he bought for me.

I talked to my mom about all this, she told me that the service coordinator was essentially "buying my silence" and "pacifying" me when he was hiring workers that were subpar and didn't care about their job or helping me, so that I would "be happy" and keep the service. She got other outside opinions on this, and they all agree that I shouldn't be "bought" into keeping the peace by not advocating for myself as well as "bought" into staying with the service.

Also, the reason that he gave Alta Regional for canceling my services, is that I had been "Verbally abusive" which is crazy considering I had never once name called, swore at, or yelled about the staff neglecting me. All I had done was stick up for myself, now im being labeled as the bad guy.

Its also crazy how I am being called abusive after the staff has been abusive and/or neglectful to me in diffrent ways, which I get into in these next few paragraphs.

The service coordinator hired someone that showed up to the interview visibly intoxicated (As described by a diffrent staff that showed up to the interview as well)

This staff that arrived drunk, had shown up to my house drinking and throwing buzz balls out of her car, when she was supposed to be taking me somewhere to buy something, WHICH WOULD HAVE MEANT THAT SHE WAS PLANNING ON DRINKING AND DRIVING WITH ME, A DISABLED ADULT IN THE CAR BTW.

I also had a staff that would verbally abuse me by constantly yelling at me whenever I was confused about soemthing (I have a learning disability and he happend to have a thick accent, I couldn't always understand him right away) and he would yell at me constantly, it got to a point where he yelled at me an entire 40 minute car ride to a doctors appointment, all because I was annoyed I couldn't find his car and didnt want to be late to the appointment and had voiced my concerns. He yelled the whole way there, I kept trying to steer the conversation away from the argument so he would stop yelling at me, I was trapped in the car with him and nowhere else to go (unless I wanted to jump out and injure myself)

I had told my doctor everything after crying about it. I had asked for an uber or lyft or otherwise safe ride home, and thankfully was accommodated for.

I hate to be like, materialistic I guess, but I really wanted the stuff he bought for me, and Im upset that he's withholding the stuff from me now, because the service ended, and it also feels like it was a direct retaliation of me making an APS report, because i was not rude at the staff at ALL.

Am I able to get the stuff he bought me back? It just upsets me that he would take that from me, and i dont even have the option to buy the stuff myself now because he already bought it (The collectibles were on Ebay and the listing only had one of each item)

I just feel bad that my figurines and cosplay and tickets are now stuck with someone thats shitty. Maybe its the way I have attachment to the things I like, that they feel "real" to me when I know they are not, idk. I hope wherever my stuff is, that maybe it was given to charity or someone deserving of it?? And hopefully he didnt just throw everything away??? Regardless, since it was for me, I hope I can get the stuff back soemhow??

If the story sounds familiar, I have posted about this before, I just have more questions as time goes on and more stuff arises.

What if I dont even want to?