Title says exactly what it is. My family members exist on a line spectrum between "You're crazy/feeding into demons", extremely perturbed by the implications of me having this condition, both or they think it's make believe fantasy. Even when i provide them with books. Even when i provide them with resources. Even when i give them videos to watch from the CTAD clinic. I just need support from the ones I'm around the most because it's really worsening my denial loops. Please help. How did you guys get your families to understand and support you...?

There are many songs for us that we love and we can relate to with our DID because of their vibes and how weve interpreted their lyrics. What are yours' and why? Here's some of mine!!

"Sundial - Lemon Demon"

Don't mind me, I've just got some problems to work out

I'm only passing through or maybe just right out

Somehow something set my sundial backwards, tilted and upside-down

Now the shadow hand is pointing time right out of town

I cease to see you when I start to shut my eyes

And I forget that I had said my last goodbyes

Quickly I reopen them and bid you all "Cheerio, my friend"

This goes on for hours and it never seems to end

I don't remember what it is that I just said to you

I've got Anubis on my back and something in my shoe

"I'm So Bad - Oingo Boingo"

Can't seem to find my way

Someone tell me what to say

Where am I going

Where did I come from

I don't know, I don't know

Almost got to paradise

But the smoke always gets

In my eyes

Everything I do is wrong

I'm so bad

so bad

"Dead Goon - Mr.Bungle"

I've got a secret

Babbling senseless

No one will ever know

Kids can be so cruel

Smash the feeling

Suckle the sugar breast

"Toy Box - Insane Clown Posse"

...I was like six, I used to get dissed by the chicks

And everyone would chase me and hit me with bricks

And rocks and sticks and calling me names

And filled my lunchbox with frogbrains (eeww!)...

...Never knew any other girls or boys

Only my toys, toys, toys...

...Nobody knows I exist, and I'm pissed

But I won't be mentally scarred

Instead I make toys, toys of the graveyard

Monday, ringing the bell

It's all about show and tell, might as well

Show all these bastards just what I got

Yo, check out my toy box!

Hopefully mines' are self explanatory but I'll edit this post later with my own reasonings why. Looking forward to seeing everyone else's songs!!

I wish i wasnt obsessed with reading about my did/osdd. I wish i could talk about it normally or vaguely like others do. I just want to connect with people and experiences too. I dont mean to hurt or scare people when i use clinical language. I feel very ashamed of myself over the fact that i feel so comfortable w these words and language when everyone else is horrified by the same terms that bring me peace of mind and understanding about how my fucked up brain works.

Before We Were People

We Were Voices

Before We Were Voices

We Were Sounds

Before We Were Sounds

We Were Feelings

Before We Became Feelings

We Were Made Emotions

And Before We Became Emotions

We Started Off As Songs

And Now As People

We Have Became Oaths.

And Because We Have Made Oaths We Raised Into Pillars

And Pillars Remain Unbroken.

i just want friends like me.

friends who forget where they put things after placing them and completely block out the memory of even being in that room like me

friends shoved into the role and box of the fool because thats how they can get away with feigning singelness

friends bound to catatonic movement that leave them feeling like a robot or a hollow puppet.

friends who dedicate themselves to treating their littles with love through external gestures that make us as a grown adult, seem childish and "stuck in the past".

friends who dont see their brain as a horrible curse but a glorious display of resilience and creativity

friends who would like to indulge with me and share their brain endeavors and would frolic with me in lala-land to escape the horrors of childhood neglect and assault.

i just want friends like me.

friends who dont cast me aside, who dont invalidate for their own sake, who don't judge me for the way that im uniquely am.

i just want friends for my friends. like me.

You aren't broken.

You were never broken.

You are the reigning champion here.

The war hasn't ended yet because you've lost not a single fight.

❤️

im sure this is the 97464th time someone has posted something like this to this subreddit but does anyone else get overwhelmingly disgusted and resentful observing normal humans trying so hard and insisting that theyre just sooo "crazy" and insane and act like they have some inner dark side that they just cant reveal to anyone (yet theyre boasting about it with their other peers)

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and youre just sitting there bubbling with inexplicable rage and anger because your "crazy" is something that you work so hard to keep inside and hide 24/7 because you KNOW its what will make people see you as weird, you know its what will make people stay away from you, even prompt people to get you fired from your job and even then you FAIL to hide yourself completely because it leaks out anyway and you already get judged and met with disgust for that tiny bit that leaks out and all you can do is sit and watch in silent disgust and rage as people watch and mock your real struggle because they cannot comprehend a life any less mundane than their own???????

Hello! quick question as someone who is in the midst of questioning if they have OSDD/is experiencing what they now think to believe is a system awakening, but for years since I've been a child I have dealt with and struggled heavily with what I can only describe as an intrusive inner dialogue or an intrusive voice that wants absolutely nothing else but to insult, berate, belittle, bully and disparage others. specifically my friends. ESPECIALLY my closest friends. I have struggled a lot with learning how to be nice to others especially towards their physical appearances and I am very ashamed to have come from a pair of parents who unabashedly shame people for the way they look, with zero recollection of their words.

This was a very prevalent thing during my child and led me to grow under a lens of superiority specifically because I used to be extremely thin. (I'm still relatively slender today, but also I'd say I have a healthy layer of fat on my body.) there have been many instances of me bullying people I consider very very close to me and not in a joking sense but straight up saying mean and hurtful things about their bodies that I generally do not have any connection towards- The insults that is.

Like the insults do not feel emotionally charged from or by me. For ex. a frustrated teacher might scream "how can you be this stupid?!?" towards her slow and struggling student for not understanding the material. <-This insult is emotionally charged as it's fueled by the teacher's frustration and failure to tutor her student through the material. However, in my case after years of growing up and feeling like I've confidently unpacked my bias and fatphobia I still experience these weird, biting urges to just. Be mean.

I will be talking to a friend, doesn't matter how close. just typically someone i consider a friend and who is consistently kind and respectful towards me, and I have this voice poke through my own inner dialogue that starts picking at and just I don't know being mean about the person I'm talking to. saying and thinking especially horrible things about the way their body looks. it doesnt not use me as comparison in most cases. it just hisses about how "fat and ugly" the person is, how much the way they're sitting bothers them. This isn't what I'm thinking or how i feel about them at all it's plagued my entire life since I've learned to stop bullying people over their appearance! and even then as a kid I was never a popular kid or a "pretty mean girl", I was 100% one of those ugly losers that picked at kids even lower than me on the metaphorical "social food chain" if you may call it that. So yeah. I dont know. but the thing is like– I don't feel this way at all?? and this voice doesn't feel like a simple voice but rather it comes with its own compulsion to leak through and spew out these horrific and mean things to the person because it wants to watch them be so shocked at the remarks!! and sometimes especially in recent yours it'll feel like I'm spiritually getting into an argument with this compulsion to which it argues back in a weird way like "-But you know is how you always feel/felt" like the arguments don't feel like a spoken back and forth argument happening in my head but I don't know something just spiritual and vibes. Like there's a concept of an argument happening between myself in my head.

often times when I get into it with a person and we cut ties naturally and I suppose "peacefully" I'll turn around and rant about the situation with a friend to which then I feel comfortable releasing this compulsion as a release and that is when all the mean horrible rude horrific things come out about them and I tell it the other friend (s) and they are often taken back by my meanness. I cannot describe this feeling other than perhaps the abrasive side of SpongeBob or the bad cop side of good cop bad cop from The Lego movie. it has made me lead my life thinking I am genuinely and evil and wicked person. and that the side of myself quite polite kind sweet mild-mannered, and giving is simply just a farce or ruse to lead people on and make them think that I'm not a bad person.

Please. I just need clarification about what all of this could or might be. it is extremely debilitating to live with and I have never confided in any of my friends about this. Not even my plural friends or closest companions.

bruh idk who done it but they made us all rise to the front when we're not supposed to be here. we're just here to provide secretive and covert support and comforting and she fucked it all up trying to diagnose her Favorite Person with DID (she was right but it cost us our safety) now the headspace is in turmoil rn and ive temporality shut it down and have been brought back to front. we were a seamless simplistic flow of egos and whatnot ....now ...we're not....For Fuck's Sake. 🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩