I’d love some honest feedback on this chorus. What do you think works, and what would you change?
I’ve tried to keep you
Away from the blood
Carry you through it
So then we can laugh
The red sank into my skin
My past made it too tough
I’d love some honest feedback on this chorus. What do you think works, and what would you change?
I’ve tried to keep you
Away from the blood
Carry you through it
So then we can laugh
The red sank into my skin
My past made it too tough
Hey everyone,
I’m currently building my songwriting portfolio and I’m trying to figure out what makes a portfolio actually strong and professional.
If you’ve worked as a lyricist, songwriter, or freelancer before, what would you expect to see in a good portfolio?
I’d also really appreciate it if anyone would be willing to share their portfolio (or screenshots/examples of it) for inspiration.
I’m not looking to copy anyone’s work — I’d just like to understand how experienced writers present their skills and samples.
Thanks in advance!
Hey everyone,
I’m currently building my songwriting portfolio and I’m trying to figure out what makes a portfolio actually strong and professional.
If you’ve worked as a lyricist, songwriter, or freelancer before, what would you expect to see in a good portfolio?
I’d also really appreciate it if anyone would be willing to share their portfolio (or screenshots/examples of it) for inspiration.
I’m not looking to copy anyone’s work — I’d just like to understand how experienced writers present their skills and samples.
Thanks in advance!
I’m my own harshest critic, so it’s difficult for me to judge my work objectively.
No matter what I write, it often feels like it’s still “not good enough.” Because of that, I’m struggling to tell whether my lyrics are genuinely ready to be offered as a service or if I still have a lot of improving to do.
I won’t be sharing my lyrics in this post. I’m more interested in hearing how other songwriters knew when their writing was good enough to start selling it. What signs made you feel ready?
The song uses cigarette smoke as a metaphor for a toxic relationship that feels comforting but slowly becomes suffocating.
I’d appreciate feedback on the imagery, emotions, and overall songwriting.
© 2026 Original lyrics. Shared for feedback only.
[Verse 1]
Hate your cigarettes, but I love you
So the smoke, I guess, is fine
I loved your sharp edges too
But my own love blurred the signs
[Chorus]
Each deep inhale burns my chest
Caught in the mask that hid the truth
Fearing you will steal my breath, but
What's the point if all I breathe is you?
The song uses cigarette smoke as a metaphor for a toxic relationship that feels comforting but slowly becomes suffocating.
I’d appreciate feedback on the imagery, emotions, and overall songwriting.
© 2026 Original lyrics. Shared for feedback only.
Lost in the Smoke
[Verse 1]
Hate your cigarettes, but I love you
So the smoke, I guess, is fine
I loved your sharp edges too
But my own love blurred the signs
[Chorus]
Each deep inhale burns my chest
Caught in the mask that hid the truth
Fearing you will steal my breath,but
What’s the point if all I breathe is you?
Looking for honest feedback on this verse.
What works? What doesn’t? Are there any awkward lines, clichés, or unclear images?
I’d appreciate constructive criticism
I’m looking in the mirror, but I don’t see my face
In the doll I was building, there’s nothing of me left
I act quiet and modest, so patriarchy always asks,
But I missed the moment when I mixed up the masks
My voice doesn’t sound like my own, the skin’s full of scars
I wonder who will show up when the mirror finally cracks
I’m especially interested in:
-Grammar and natural phrasing
-Flow and rhythm
-Emotional impact
-Whether any lines sound cliché or awkward
Thank you for taking the time to read it!
[verse 1]
We were walking at 11:59 on a September night,
Your dark tousled hair caught every single streetlight
I felt your warm breath, we laughed for no reason,
I never thought I’d be the one watching you leave
[chorus]
You keep saying we are fine,
That I bother you too much
You promised me you won’t lie,
But your silence was enough
To see that you are cruel
Why are you fucking cruel to me?