u/Magda_87

25F
Sometimes I go for long periods without having any strange thoughts and I notice they do increase in frequency when I'm tired of stressed out. My brain automatically goes to a religious or superstitious interpretation, like everything is a sign of impending doom and sometimes I worry if I don't take the "warning" and brush it off something horrible will happen.

I've lived in LA for a few months and the other day I saw an album that was titled "LA: City of Death," saw a bunch fo crows circling my place, and loud aircraft flying overhead at night. My brain takes these all as signs I need to leave LA. I know it could be wrong but the anxiety response it provokes feels very real.

I feel crazy sometimes. I never used to think about things this way. I sometimes wonder too if heavy cannabis use in my early 20s exacerbated my pattern awareness and weakened some monitoring part of my brain that keeps this weirdness at bay. I've even considered things like schizotypal personality disorder or schizo-prodrome as potential causes, although I'm curious if my pre-existing OCD, ASD 1, and DPDR could explain a lot of it.

Does anyone relate? I'd love to hear others' experiences.

i dont think we literally cannot sustain more life on earth but i think the massive fragmentation of ppl which naturally occurs when the population reaches a certain threshold is indicative of a less serious or united population. we always had different forms of division and while in some ways the type we have now is preferable to those of the past, it feels uniquely soulless and robotic in some way im not sure i can articulate.

i know a lot has improved but something about this era feels uniquely maddening to me. technology seems to have made what mightve been manageable adhd in a pre smartphone era unbearable and my ocd spirals so much worse due to instantaneous access to information. i feel its been a nightmare for existentially fixated people and hypochondriacs.

i cant see the world normally anymore. my ability to love people has been tainted by the possibility they dont exist. i keep seeing others in totally detached way, like apes or aliens. when i dissociate my thoughts spiral endlessly and i stay up all night and worry im going to trigger a first psychotic episode from sleep deprivation and open the flood gates to schizophrenia.

these thoughts seem to not plague anyone else in my life or they tell me they had them once as a teenager when they smoked too much weed and moved on, which makes me feel like an arrested development idiot. im 25 and the window for schizophrenia is still open n i live in fear of going crazy every day. my symptoms are much worse at nighttime and the quiet makes me unable to sleep bc mothing blocks my thoughts.

i used to be comfortable as an atheist but have been researching religion obsessively since my first major existential crisis seeing my decaying body in the mirror. i am not in a religion affirming environment and know i will likely always be agnostic because im naturally very doubtful. the people around me say religious people are weak and dont respect spirituality of any form.

anyone relate or have pointers? anything is better than nothing. i appreciate feedback it makes this world feel more real and gives me a moment of solace.

i have autism and i think schizotypal n potentially schizophrenia. i had a recent psychotic episode and up until then i was already getting in my head and unable to escape with hallucinations.

i am new to this and i find nighttime to both be a good time for being alone and not have as many people around to see me but at the same time sometimes the quiet that can be soothing leads to more paranoia and psychological torment.

i have major sleep problems to where i have to often stay awake for many hours to calm down enought to sleep and have been awake for days at a tiem. i do not like pills or any type of drug. i also find when i am that trapped in my body and frozen i cannot do much as far as physical initiation n movements go. i also have adhd.

even if you do not fully relate to my situation i would still like to hear how you settle yourself down or at least make yourself less scared sometimes. even if it is not always a success i will try. any help?