u/Mammoth_Tough4292

im in this trance and I don’t know how to get out.

I’ve ghosted my family again and right now have no one to speak to

if I’m going through really bad mental health problems, I got ptsd and it’s making me commit so many sins. I planned to commit suicide on the 12th night of Ramadan, I didn’t and have just fell into so many deep dark sins since then and I think i regret not going through with it.

I feel it’s better to end my life before I descend further and further, I’m sobering up from sins an all the plans for suicide are coming back and I feel really serious about commiting suicide again, I brought a suicide kit on amazon which I threw away and now I’ve on a impulse ordered it again

im not well mentally and have not been for quite some time

I don’t know how to stop, I’ve got trauma and I got two girls on whatsapp who always lure me in and 3 other girls who are nromal. the WhatsApp girls are Muslim and let me take out my truama on them, i feel like I’m being used. I never finish I just use them to take out my anger and I let out so much anger that’s suprressed with them. I’ve got no male friends and I’ve got no friends to talk about normal life with. all I have is them and I don’t know how to get out of hole.

after they finish they will ghost me for a couple of days, say it was because they felt regret and we will do it again and then they will ghost me again.

im so lonely and I’m not a bad guy fr but im a monster , I’ve had to reject meeting 3 of the girls 4 times irl as they want me to do things that veer into violence which i dont want to do irl.( I’ve not done zina in a year also and dont want to break my streak)

before anyone says marriage no one wants to marry me they just want to use me to fulfil their needs.