u/ManufacturerOk9723

My wife recently started getting a stop start error on her 2019 Volkswagen atlas SE with the 2.0 engine. I changed the battery on this car last year because sometimes the car would turn off with the stop start feature and it wouldn’t crank again. I followed the full process of registering the new battery and inputting the correct crank apps using a OBD scan tool. It is now showing the stop start error as well as saying the car is limited to a maximum of 4000 RPM.

When I look online, it says it can be either the battery, charcoal canister, are purge valve. I’m pretty handy with cars, and I usually fix things myself, so I’m just looking for any directions on if this is common for anyone else.

I even bought a battery that exceeds OEM standard. She said that sometimes when she’s going in reverse and comes to a stop, the car will just shut off and she has to crank it again. It only happens when she is going in reverse though.

I’m going to take it to AutoZone when she get home from work and have them scan for codes to see if anything comes up.

So me M35 and my wife F40 have been together for about 9 years and married for 2. We have two boys. We meet because we both worked at a school together in the admin office. I work in IT field with a BA in computer engineering and she used to work in finance due to her having an MBA. Since then we have left the school and I work at a top Fortune 500 company making 6 figures. I have been with this company for almost 7 years and climbed the ladder to a Sr level position. She has worked at about 6-7 different places since we met. Every job she goes to there is some issue. Someone not liking her, boss not giving clear instructions or taking accountability for their mix up, too many requests, The list goes on and on. For a few months she didn’t have a job and we were at risk of losing our home so I took up a second full time overnight job that landed my total income at around 150k (this was before sr level position) until she got another job. She stepped out of her usual line of work and stepped into teaching in August 2025. Now she is in the start of year two of teaching 4th grade and the kids are too much and she can’t handle it. She says she has applied to hundreds of other jobs but is getting nowhere.

About 3 years ago we made a bad investment (that she suggested we do) and now we are going to have to file for bankruptcy so we can pay off all the debt. Meaning we both must work right now due to so many bills.

I remove as much as I can from her plate since I work from home. Im responsible for getting kids ready for school, drop off and pick up, homework, help fold laundry, cook sometimes or at least ensure we have warm food to eat if she is tired from work, mow the lawn, fix our cars myself if there is an issue, play with the kids if im not too tired or take them to ride bikes, tidy up the house as much as I can and ensuring things function as they should like appliances. While going to the gym so I don’t get too out of shape. I was a track star sprinter in high school and college so my physique is pretty good (just thought I’d throw that in there lol)

My issue is, she constantly tells me that I’m the only person she can talk to about all these things happening at work or any of her jobs she’s worked at and How she feels lonely because I don’t comfort her enough. I understand and I listen to her and try to provide suggestions but it gets exhausting hearing negativity over and over again. I’m a man that’s about getting stuff done and making things happen. Hearing negativity week after week is discouraging and makes me not want to talk. I’m no perfect man and in the past I’ve let my anger and frustration allow me to yell (never in front of the kids) and say things like “this is happening because of you” or “this is too much I want a divorce”. I have since apologized and grown since those instances and I’ve taught myself that everything doesn’t need an immediate response.

I love my wife and my family but it gets overbearing sometimes. I’m not sure what to do here. Any suggestions on how I can better navigate this?

I have iOS 27 public beta installed. When I ask Siri any question, it seems that it will not time out after a certain amount of time. For example, I had my headphones in listening to music and I asked Siri a question. When you do this, it lowers the volume of your music so that you can hear Siri speaking. Well, being that it never times out, your music will stay lowered until you manually close Siri out on the phone. Very annoying, and I hope that they fix this for final release.