Thoughts?
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Thoughts on the below exerpt? Link with full discussion below :
Christine: Yeah, I hear that. I think another thing that is playing a role here is the power dynamic between us. In some ways, as a Palestinian, I’m asked to empathise with my oppressor – not you specifically, but someone who’s part of a society that has subjected me to a great deal of trauma, control and subjugation. I’m empathising with your fear and your suffering, while understanding that that fear is justifying the occupation. I think that’s where my anger is.
Orna: Ultimately, it’s true. If we go back to what happens in couples therapy – a much simpler situation: let’s say one spouse is violent and the other spouse is not violent, but does other nasty things. Of course, the violence must be addressed, but those other nasty things contribute to their cycle. And without addressing that part, if the one that is being violated only focuses on the righteousness of “you cannot be violent towards me”, they are refusing to account for their role in the dynamic. This is not to excuse the violence, but to actually understand what’s going on between them so that they can be released from the endless cycle. That’s the only way to change. This is a much grander scale here, but the violence is, in certain ways, bidirectional.
Christine: I get that, but my question is how do we know we’re not victim blaming? Or how do you walk that fine line of: “Oh, well, I know you’re getting beat up by your partner, but you need to take accountability for all the ways that you are deserving of it”?
Orna: But the thing is, I’m not saying “deserving” of it. I’m saying we each need to hold our quarters responsible for what we can. And I understand why it’s an extremely tall order right now to ask a Palestinian to do that, while they’re being slaughtered. But in the grand scale of things, it’s the only way that something will happen. Israel would need to own its own shit in a huge way. But for that to happen, it needs to have a partner that can say, yes, we’ve messed up here too.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/sep/13/israel-palestine-7-october-gaza-orna-guralnik