u/Many_Solid_466

(40F) Went on 2 dates with a guy (45M) from an online dating app.

First date was great, attraction from my side to him felt like a 6/10. In terms of values and goals we align. We went out for casual burgers, he paid.

Second date felt flat, less playful, but I was still wondering if it's worth going on a 3rd date. We went out for a walk and grabbed some food and a drink. We took turns paying. I had plans to meet my friends after the 2nd so I quickly left and there's been no kissing etc. That works for me because I'm still getting to know him.

As the days went by I hadn't heard from him and It made me less interested in reaching out.

I figured it was a sign we've got nothing to talk about or say to, it's probably not a match and he doesn't seem interested anyways.

10 days later he texts me and asks where I disappeared.

I sent a long explanation, saying that I thought the lack of communication from him meant he's not interested, but I went out of my way to be fully honest and a bit vulnerable.

I guess his communication style is super blunt. He said:

'Thanks for that explanation. So you just misread the situation and left it. Lol makes perfect sense. Luckily for you it’s my bday so it gives you ample opportunity to consider ideas to make up for it.'

My knee jerk reaction isn't great. What are your thoughts or what would you do?

I matched with a guy on dilmil.. I've been lied to on apps and I'm quite vigilant.

This guy was sending very quick lengthy replies and that's a that's a nice change.

Said he's born and brought up in the UK Leeds. Always lived there. Orthopedic surgeon.

Pretty cute in my opinion.

But something about the way he was texting felt off. If you know, Indian parents or family will sometimes manage someone's dating profile, so I thought maybe he texts that way or someone else is on his account.

So I asked him for a call. Which he agreed to but his accent was obviously African. Not something for me to write off (because Indians can have any accent) but he was pronouncing basics words like India as Indian. Lots of other minor things felt off. I even asked him about his accent or if he'd lived more places.

Clearly was a scam because I told him next time we speak let's just face time. And he blocked me.

Main question is: has anyone else ever experienced this?

Any scams going on that I'm not aware of? I can't see why someone would want to catfish without being able to show their face or would think they can get away so easy.

I went on a date with a guy I met on an app at the beginning of this week. I was super excited to meet him because he seemed really nice and we had great conversation on the phone. After the date I was keen to see him again to get to know more about him. But I was not instantly feeling attraction yet.

Today I had a second date with him .. that left me feeling a bit deflated.

I'm not sure if it was because of:

-Timing of the date: we met up in the day time and I wasn't as energetic.

-Attraction: or my lack of physical attraction. It's always taken me some time for attraction to grow and for me to even want to make out with someone. Unless they're hot (but I do prioritize an emotional connection, so I'm not just looking for someone attractive).

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I’m trying to understand my own dating patterns and would love some input from other women.

If you've dated someone or are marriedb and it was not just based on looks: what made your decide to continue getting to know your partner?

So I’m stuck between: -giving things more time to develop vs -recognising when I’m just not that into someone

How did you know someone was worth continuing to see? Did attraction grow for you, or was it usually clear early on?