u/MartinCage

While personally I don't believe I have DID, I think this post belongs here and that everyone can help me.

I used to treat my inner voice as a whole person, he used to direct me, tell me what to do, talk to me when needed, scream at me, argue with me, he was chaotic.

sometimes I went crazy because of this voice, it always felt like a whole person built to destroy me, when he argued with me too much, to the point I felt he's making me hate myself, and I did hate myself.

I believe he wanted what's best for me in his own twisted way, my inner voice always was evil with no morals no empathy, it was interesting sometimes he took the wheel and I am just watching what he does.

He used to criticize my body, my mistakes, me having fun, socializing, he always thought people are accessories, that should be thrown away, and to not get attached to them, and that I have no job, and that I am useless fool with a fake life because I mask around people so they can accept me, knowing it will be bad when I am exposed.

Well I improved allat, got a job, went to gym, etc... but he isn't talking? he used to tell me that's good, I am proud of you, now he just doesn't talk to me anymore?

It feels like I lost a limb, and it left a void in me, feels like i am choking on my neck for oxygen, I feel so lost and anxious, and I need him back to be honest, I know I sound crazy, I know that type of shit I am typing makes me sound insane, I don't care, it was my inner voice that kept me in check for a long time, and I don't know what to do without him anymore...