Why do I do this and how do I stop? (sneaking food self-sabotage)
Hi! 20F SW: 190 CW: 147 GW" 130.
Context: lost the weight CICO (tracking calories and working out). Did 75 Hard and lost my period. I still have ways to go weight wise but I'm trying not to go too hard, instead focus my energy on recovering my period and fixing my problems with food--food noise + my sneaking habit:
My issue is that I love to bake and cook, so I often bake/cook for my family. When I bake, I save an appropriate amount of my calories for later so that I could (in theory) enjoy a moderate portion of whatever it is that I cooked/baked alongside them. However, practically every time I do this, I end up destroying my plan by instead sneaking off bits of what I made as I am cooking. Then, I end up eating more than my allotted portion would have been anyway, but mentally it feels cloudy since it was just random bites. It's so irrational.
Example: today I made an apple pie. Thought to myself/logged, "dinner of hotdog + bun, 1 tbl ketchup, and 1 slice apple pie for dessert." Reality: kept sneaking pieces of apple while baking.... then once I served the pie, I kept eating the pieces of pie that fell out of the slices I cut instead of just not snacking and serving myself 1 slice.
Why can't I just wait to eat my allotted portion? I kind of feel like my scarcity brain thinks "oh this is the one time I can eat freely so better eat up" while I'm baking/cooking/serving because every other time I eat it is logged, boring food.
How do I stop this habit? Thanks in advance :)