u/Master_Spinach1441

my blood sugar has been high since noon. it is now 5 pm. my pump says i’d be putting 1.58 extra units on top of what i already have active. i almost want to bolus more than that. should i just drink a ton of water instead and wait it out? probably! do i want to do that? no. i have to eat hot dogs tonight. i need my blood sugar to be reasonable to have my hot dogs.

edit: had 3 hot dogs. keto bread as buns to balance it out. blood sugar came down quite a bit beforehand. 173 is good enough for me.

i want to preface with the context that i had developed an eating disorder before i was diagnosed, but type one diabetes made my issues a lot worse. i won’t elaborate a ton because it’s deeply personal, but i’ll provide more surface level stuff. the management is largely what amplified it, which i think is common. i try to manage as best as i can, and i’ve made leaps and bounds of progress on the management front, fortunately.

i started counting carbs the way that i counted calories. the good news, it made counting carbs really easy. the bad news, it made my restriction considerably worse. i’ve done better as an adult through extensive therapy and work with my endocrinologist, psychiatrist, and my general practitioner (who has psych experience, and another doctor at that office has endocrine experience). i’m a healthy weight again. unfortunately, i can feel myself relapsing as of late after having a good year and a half. i don’t want to go too in depth, but i’ve started getting panicky when i eat more than 25 carbs in one meal. i know that i just need to exposure therapy myself about it more (i have severe anxiety and ocd, and avoiding things that make me anxious makes my symptoms worse), but it feels so daunting. i’m fasting more, and i feel like i can’t stop. i take my higher blood sugars so much more personally now, too. i feel like i’m chewing ice when i’m hungry again. my doctor has discouraged me from low/no carb diets because it will make everything for me worse on the mental front (it does, speaking from experience). we have conversations about how carb consumption is okay and necessary. it helps for a little bit and i know this logically but i feel myself get so scared after a few weeks. usually, i get scared and i can power through, but it’s gotten harder. i had a panic attack over eating 48 carbs at once a week or two ago. i didn’t eat for the rest of the day. it sucks too because i was making really good progress, i wasn’t thinking about the amount of carbs (or calories, which i’ve focused less on because that’s less relevant) i was eating, i was exercising healthily, etc. i don’t even know what triggered it but i feel like i’m getting worse again. i do my insulin like i should (though i used to skip it when i was younger because it meant i ate, which meant weight gain and i was diagnosed in dka, lost 50 pounds as a result which unfortunately fed into the issue too, since everyone praised me for the weight loss) it’s mostly just the carb amounts that scare me, which i think is good because i’m not scared of the insulin so much. it just feels like one step forward, three steps back.

has anyone had similar experiences? how do you cope with it? what helped you? i’m seeing my therapist weekly instead of biweekly or monthly again, but i still feel kind of stumped on what to do. i feel really alone in this specific issue too because i’ve never met another diabetic with this problem. in fact, the only other type one diabetic i’ve met in person had probably the healthiest mindset on type one i’ve ever seen and i envy her. i know comparison is the thief of joy, but i wish i was as on top of everything and positive as she was. it’s just hard for me. i do want to try, though.

sorry this was so long and negative, i’m having a hard time as of late. i think i want to know i’m not alone and that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

i’m getting a new pump today! i say new loosely, it’s the same model that i had previously (tslim x2), but it’s just a new pump. no more horrendous battery life! i’m very very excited about it.

i have a decent range of recipes i’ve been making for myself for a few years now that are low carb/diabetic friendly, and i’ve decided that i want to add onto it. i need variety!! i tend to do a lot of similar flavor profiles and wind up just adding more of the “vaguely mediterranean-ish or citrusy grilled chicken with some vegetables and sometimes cauliflower rice” recipes whether i like it or not (because they’re wonderful flavor-wise!), so i would loveeee some new ideas. what are some of y’all’s favorite things to cook/bake for yourself (or your t1d loved one!)? contrary to what it may seem, chicken recipes ARE welcome, just maybe with some different flavors lol.

i know i could google stuff but i want personal anecdotes, like if you add more of an ingredient for taste, how your blood sugar likes your recipe, a silly story about making it, or even just your own personal thoughts on the recipe :) follow your heart! i want the human connection and advice too :)

(plus between you and i, a lot of the recipes i find from just a google search are super hit or miss lol)

i have virtually no diabetic friendly treat recipes so…. if you guys have anything that’s good (because i have not had a lot of good ones, it’s really hard imo), i would love to have access to it!

thank you!

i want to preface this with the added context that my t:slim x2 is a little over five years old, and since my warranty recently ended, i ordered a new one and it should be arriving in the mail this week. hopefully, this isn’t an issue with my new one, but we’ll see.

sometimes, when my control iq delivers insulin, my pump will tell me that it’s delivering one amount of insulin, and then it obviously stops delivering it (it stops making the little dispensing noise, i hope that makes sense) but still says it’s delivering insulin. then, it’ll say it delivered the amount of insulin it was initially going to deliver. the iob then updates and says it’s less. for example, i first noticed this when my pump said it was delivering 2.74 units with control iq, then it refreshed and only said i had 0.78 units on board. has anyone else had this issue? it doesn’t happen with manual inputs, so i’ve been relying on that to fill the gaps. it also doesn’t do this with every control iq bolus, it’s probably 10% of them or less, but it’s still enough to be annoying.

for a very long time, i had a contour next meter. i don’t remember which model off the top of my head, but i believe it was the next one. it was wonderful because i could just go to the store and buy test strips over the counter when i needed more. my local walmart was open late, and my drug store opened early, so i was pretty much set. i am someone who bought more strips when i had less than 10 or so left so i wouldn’t wind up having an emergency.

with my new pump, i got a new meter, the livongo. initially, i did not switch. i love my contour next one. then, i dropped it in a parking lot. i found it after it got ran over. i called my doctor. $200 for a new one. i resigned to my livongo meter.

immediately, i loathed this thing. why am i setting up my internet on my meter? why do i need to do that? i hate the automated refills, too. you’d think it would make my life easier, but sometimes i don’t want to wait for a package. mine had gotten delayed a handful of times, and so i was stuck with way less than i liked. i was rationing test strips. thank god i had a cgm. then, it randomly disconnected from my internet when i returned from a trip. it would not reconnect to my wifi. i called. they did not help. my meter now has no wifi so no way to get new test strips unless i want to call. they are, once again, extremely unhelpful. why would i want to call them again? i tried once, and they were weird and pissy about the automated refills not working. not to mention, there are these beads at the very bottom of the tube that holds the test strips. they had a cap on top of them. i assume they acted as silica gels to absorb moisture. the cap popped off. the beads were all over my test strips. if i wanted to use a test strip, i’d have to wipe beads off of them.

i finally dropped that $200 on a new contour next meter recently. never again.

i really hate the social isolation of type one. i can’t participate in a handful of activities that my friends can without worrying the whole time or spiking my anxiety which then makes my blood sugar rise. i don’t know any other type one diabetics and none of my friends are particularly interested in knowing how to help me. it sucks. i don’t even blame my friends for not having much interest. i barely do anymore, and i just take care of what needs to be taken care of.

i’ve had a very stressful few weeks between some family issues and job issues and my blood sugar hasn’t gone lower than 180 in the past two weeks and it’s driving me nuts. i don’t rage bolus, i learned my lesson with that as a teenager, but it makes me really upset that i don’t have anyone who’s really interested in supporting me in general. it just makes me sad, i guess. i wish i had type one diabetic friends or people who understood.

i’m involved in my local hardcore scene. i don’t mosh because i have a pump and people treat me like i’m a leper. it’s small stuff like that that makes me really sad, and i’ve had that experience since i was first diagnosed at thirteen.

i guess it feels silly, but it’s just been hard for me lately. the social isolation aspect has really sunk in on top of burnout.