u/MaythefourthbewithC

I started Zoloft about a month ago and immediately my appetite left. For the past week though, I have been having intense restlessness, thoughts going so fast I can’t put words to them, fear, pressure in my chest, and a sense of doom. It comes in waves throughout the day and gets worse at night. I also feel mentally paralyzed when the thoughts are going this fast, like I can’t organize them or get them out.
My mood has also been unstable and I’ve been in a really negative space. I’m scared for everyone—my kids, myself, and my partner. I’m not having thoughts of hurting myself or anyone else, but I feel extremely overwhelmed and frightened by how intense this is.
Sleep is fine, although I’m also on several medications that are sedating. I’m currently taking Abilify, lamotrigine, gabapentin (which I have been abusing because of the anxiety), and Focalin.
I’m wondering what this could be and whether the Zoloft could be causing some kind of activation or mixed symptoms, even though I’m still sleeping okay. I’m also wondering whether I need a change in my mood stabilizer or something like lithium, which my doctor seems determined to get me on.

Stating a few years ago, I had a manic episode that resulted in accruing thousands of dollars in credit card debt. That episode lasted a few months then I leveled out. I had subsequent manic episodes and the cc debt continues to grow. Then I started shopping while depressed too as a coping mechanism. At this point, I maxed out my credit card and am struggling to pay my mortgage due to cc payments.

Just wondering if anyone else shops while manic and depressed and everywhere in between. Did your shopping start in mania? What coping mechanisms have you replaced shopping with? There are also a bunch of other bad habits accrued during mania including heavy marijuana use, vaping etc. It all feels out of control now and everyone thinks I’m a total fuck up. I guess I just don’t want to feel alone.

The title says it all. I was rapid cycling between normal and hypomania with spikes of mania at its peak for two years it seems then my doctor switched my medicine from abilify to latuda and I fell
Into depression. The depression has since lifted a little and I am back on abilify but still have lingering symptoms of depression (low mood, sleeping too much, a little hopeless about ever feeling better.) it’s been about a year since my last high period, except for a few days of intense mania when on a steroid. Mainly though just the grey bland of depression everyday. I hate this so much. I’m tempted to think I’m just depressed and have no mania until I think k of how much more amazing I felt a year ago. Does it ever get better? Does the cloud ever lift off your bones or is this just my life now?