u/Melinoe_2157

I need srs before I end up kms. SRS is such a joke tbh, you're supposed to masturbate your gock just so there's enough tissue to have proper results, all of that while having bottom dysphoria yourself

Definitely beats being an insecure and mentally ill neurodivergent and "quirky" traiknee, fmstlsm.

Probably will become the biggest agp rapehon but since he's super rich he will be able to afford any surgery he wants, but I don't think that barrel chest has a fix as of now.

Inb4 Elon troons out and it starts a new golden age for traiknees.

Imagine detransitioning to become a griftoid only to end up retransitioning again because you're miserable and can't cope with gender dysphoria.

TFD

Couldn't crosspost from the main sub.

I don't even know the context or full story as to why she stopped hrt but still relevant. Imagine losing access to hrt for whatever reason and having all your progress undone in just a few months, I would kms on the spot, testosterone is a fucking poison.

This is probably one of the strongest ropefuel and the biggest reason to never stop taking hrt as long as you can afford it.

You can also apply this to puberty and how it can ruin you entirely in less than a year. More youngshits should be diypilled so they don't have to go through this much agony.

People often ask me if I'm okay because apparently I look traumatised all the time, even my situationship has asked me this or even asked why I rarely smile . I think I just have dead eyes caused by years of trauma, the psychological damage caused by puberty is something from which I don't think I'll ever recover, plus I've had a lot of misfortune in life which has contributed to this,specially my cat passing away during an already very bad moment of my life which completely nuked me and I pretty much went numb for months. Even in photos or when I try to take a selfie I look completely souless and almost emotionless, the spark I had in my eyes abandoned me a while ago.

I've been doing semifine as of lately but I guess always have The expression on display.

And they are not being able to experience pregnancy and periods. As of now there isn't a surgery that can fix that and probably won't be for the next 10-15 years, and let's be honest these kinda of surgeries if they ever become available will only be reserved for the rich privileged tranners.

I've had this discussion before with other female members of my family and telling me how lucky I am that I can't experience periods when the truth is that I would kill for it, it's a very strong ropefuel for me missing out on one of the most basic female experiences and one that you can bond over with other women. I remember in my previous job where women would randomly bring up periods and I would stand there looking super awkward and autistic and having to come up with some lie.

And if life wasn't already cruel enough I'm getting a bunch of ads for pads,tampons and even baby clothes and things you would buy for your new born baby.

Poor woman

I'm talking about actually living long lives as a traknee and reaching something like the 70s or 80s,not necessarily counting late transitioners who've only trooned out very late in life . So far I've only seen like 2 or 3 very old trans women which makes it seem like we all die early and honestly the thought alone is very grim, even in my good moments I can't picture myself living more than 50 years, thinking about not being able to be a biological mom and have children of my own with the man I love is always very ropefuel inducing for me, since most men end up wanting children and as of now I can't physically have children and even if womb transplants became a thing I bet it would be super expensive and only reserved to richoids. Idk I think if I were able to do that I would find some real purpose and motivation in life.

I don't even know what awaits us in the future, the bad definitely outweights the good and so far it seems the world somehow keeps becoming harder and more hostile towards trans people and if we take a look about how a lot of countries in the world are turning right wing and introducing anti trans laws, well it's definitely not looking good for us.

This all began almost two weeks ago when I had an appointment with my endo and he told me that I needed to lose some weight if I wanted to get signed up for the srs waiting list, since the surgeon requires a certain BMI before you can apply for surgery, apparently I need to weight 65 kg for my height and I was at 76, gained a bunch of weight from basically being super inactive after the orchi and I was pretty much binge eating a bunch of goyslop too.

Since then I've been working out a lot and slowly losing weight, been eating better and less and completely cut down the slop from my diet. Also overall been feeling better about myself and taking more care about my appearance and how I dress plus I've been feeling a lot more confident, hell even went on a date yesterday with a cute guy and I think it went well. Now I only need to find a job but this might be the hardest part so far since this one thing is completely out of my control.

I still have my moments where dysphoria hits like a truck but it's been more manageable. Also did a bunch of introspection about constantly living with a negative mindset isn't good for my life since all this negativity ends up turning into a bottomless pit that sucks you in and that is hard to escape, plus more on a schizo side of things you basically bring into your life bad things by being in this constant negative mentality. And I know it's hard to escape this mindset when you don't really have anything going on and on top of that you're a mentally ill Traik nee with a bunch of different issues which makes things infinitely harder in almost all aspects of life. But at least I'd say it's worth making the effort to improve yourself so you can actually feel better about yourself.

The worms are still there, social anxiety and bpd plagues my mind at times and I don't even think these can be fixed but I guess that I can do some effort to alleviate the burden caused by them.

But I guess I'll keep riding this wave and try not to fall again into such a dark place because it really is hard to escape, in a way there is some sense of comfiness in the misery since it's all you've known for a while, but it's not worth it.

I don't remember exactly but this probably happened almost 13 years ago, I was alone at home and was just wearing my mom's clothes and trying on some make up when he unexpectely showed up and found me in that getup, I started screaming at him and telling him not to tell my mom while also denying anything about wanting to be a girl because I was afraid of being beat up or something but I should have been honest with and tell him the truth because he didn't beat me or did anything really mean afterwards, he just dropped a joke and that's it . Idk there's always that "what if" in my head about what could have happened if I actually told him, guess I'll never know and ended up trooning at the age of 22 when I could potentially have done it a lot earlier.

I don't live with him or my mom anymore but I still keep contact with my mom and we see each other almost every week, but I just don't want anything to do with that bastard anymore.

Mogs me

We defeated Evil, sionism and rightoids. Even with the entire team of referees against us.

Some times I just want to post some low effort unrelated thing in here just to start some discussion about something.

Apparently turkish isn't gendered at all and doesn't even have gendered pronouns they all use the "O". Honestly I prefer it over my own language (spanish) where everything is super gendered. Non gendered languages make everything a lot easier and also the fact that well you can't be misgendered by them or even misgendering yourself when you're still boymoding or hrt repping, I still remember that awkward phase early in my transition where I still used masculine pronouns but also tried to speak in neutral terms as much as spanish allowed me to and still failing miserably since everything is gendered, even adjectives and verbs, I did this because II wasn't out to anyone and preferred not telling anyone about transitioning . And I'm not going to learn any new language but it definitely sounds like learning non gendered languages is a lot easier compared to gendered ones that overcomplicate everything.

The reason for this post is because on xitter I saw one random german activist that glued her hands to the ground, the post itself was made by a turkish account and since Grok is retarded it automatically used "his" pronoun for that woman instead of a neutral one, so now rightoids are transvestigating her.

edit: Shout out. Minor spelling mistake.

I know the 41% isn't even accurate and is just chud cope but for some reason for the past few weeks I've been seeing the number 41 eveywhere: on the digital clock multiple times, randomly mentioned in TV or just while watching some show or movie, even in car plates or in social media where the post has nothing to do with traiknees. And that is just some of the examples but the number has been plaguing my everyday.

Feels like the Demiurge is messing with me or is a signal from the universe telling me to rope because there's no hope. And I have to say I've been feeling pretty hopeless as of lately maybe I should do it.

Yeah this shit is ridiculous, they won't leave us alone until we're totally erased from any competition or public life

Unrelated post or whatever but I'm a lonely loser and don't have anyone to talk about how I feeI. I haven't cried this badly since finishing Cyberpunk, even my face and eyes hurt from crying. I knew the moment was coming when I got on my horse and the music started playing. Also the horse's death scene really broke me.

Seeing Arthur's redemption in his last moments was really special, high honor Arthur is the way to play. Now I feel super empty inside, I know there's the epilogue with John but I don't think it will hit the same way.

Arthur was a good man, I need a man like him.