u/Merlin509

I assume this was or will be picked up for a second season.

I turned 65 in April and was planning to retire at 67, but my mother passed in February and I inherited a fairly large estate, so I have moved my plans up. I had a decent size 401(k) and would’ve been fine, but the money has changed things. It’s a weird thing losing the final parent and inheriting money. I still miss her and her passing was a very painful process, but the money is game changing and I’m now struggling to process that and all of the changes that come with retiring. I feel a lot of guilt and stress about the whole thing. there’s a lot to do organizationally, including registering for Social Security, Medicare, telling my boss, buying a new computer and phone because all that has been corporate owned, and I’m still trying to figure out what to do with myself once all of this is sorted out. My wife is younger and still working with no intention of quitting or retiring, so I’m sort of on my own.

I’m wondering how long it took everyone else to get through this whole process of changing the working mindset to a retired mindset and figuring out what to do with yourself, and just generally decompress and distress from work and the retirement process.

In other words, is there anything that you aren’t doing or planning because you’re worried about getting sick or dying before you can complete and/or enjoy it?

My kids are grown and I’ve been with my wife since her kids were 6 and 8. They are now 19 (b) and 21 (g). We’ve taken a lot of family vacations over the years when the kids were younger and took the step daughter on a senior trip to the Bahamas in ‘23 and step son on his senior trip to Hawaii last year. Also Phoenix, Montana, and Colorado over the last 4 years and my wife has taken each of her kids on individual trips. At this point, they are adults. My stepdaughter has graduated from college, is working and hopes to move out this Fall. My stepson is almost 20, in college, and living with us during the summer. I get along fine with both, and the stepdaughter is easy to be around. The stepson is somewhat immature and I frankly don’t like him much. He’s sometimes mean to his mother and it pisses me off. At the same time, she dotes on him. I was really hoping after our Hawaii trip last summer that that was it for family vacations, and all future trips would just be me and my wife. In fact, I’m looking forward to it.

Tonight, my stepson asked if we were going to take a family trip next summer, and suggested Japan. Him and my wife started talking seriously about it, and I believe are looking to make plans for the family to go somewhere overseas. I would really prefer not to do that and I’m trying to decide if there’s a way to tell my wife that I don’t want to go.

How do others out here feel about taking vacations with your adult stepchildren? Do you enjoy them? Is it okay to say no?

I’ve had a dysfunctional relationship with food for over a decade, more specifically related to aging and obsession with eating healthy foods and not eating unhealthy foods. The media climate and constant inundation with health advice and warnings doesn’t help. It seems like every day I see or hear something saying this food or that food will kill you, or one beer will kill you. I find myself obsessively evaluating everything I eat and sometimes even spit things out if I deem them not taste worthy of the calories they contain. I can’t let myself enjoy a scoop of ice cream or a slice of pizza without ruminating or downing a big glass of Metamucil immediately after (yes, I know that doesn’t really do anything). I generally live a healthy lifestyle, am at a good weight, exercise, and shouldn’t be worried about this stuff. I know none of us are getting out of this alive and I should just enjoy life and that it really doesn’t matter, but I can’t get myself to not think about it.

My wife has been struggling her whole life with an ED and still purges more than she likes to admit. I’ve told her that it’s a good thing I can’t purge as easily as she because I’d be doing it too. It’s very frustrating.

I have significant money from inheritance that has been kept separate from the marital property and am putting together a will. My two children are grown and one with kids and I have two college aged stepchildren. I’m sure my parents wanted this money handed down to their grandchildren and great grandchildren eventually, so am not sure how to handle the distribution.

My stepchildren still have both parents in their lives, but my wife has been covering nearly all their expenses and college for the last 6 years, as the father had kids with his new wife and refuses to pay for nearly anything, even though he owns two large rental properties and owns his own business. I feel like it’s up to them to bequest money to their children and I am responsible for my own.

Obviously my wife would get some, but she has her own money, a great job and a healthy 401k, so would be fine, and I imagine she’d remarry if something happened and then her new husband would get the benefit if I left her a large portion of, so I’d really prefer that my kids and grandchildren benefit.

I’m only 65, so hopefully it’s a long way off, but you never know, so I want to take care of it.

Thoughts?

Considering one for my SRT. Just wondering if it cuts power to the PCM and all electronics so that you would lose the radio presets and other saved information. Do you use it every time you park?