r/Aging

I see so many young adults here talking about their parents’ lack of planning for old age. I understand this is a place to vent and commiserate, but I’m curious about something:

As a younger person, are you doing anything differently to prepare for your own aging than your parents did?

It’s easy to say previous generations “should have planned better,” but what specific steps are you taking now to avoid needing help later in life?

I’d genuinely love to hear thoughtful, honest answers from younger folks.

Today my father looked at me for 10 seconds and asked "who are you beta?" I laughed in front of him but after going to bathroom I cried like a child. This man worked 35 years in factory, never missed my school fee even when we had no money. Now he cant even remember my name sometimes. Old age is so cruel man. People only talk about death but nobody talks about slowly losing yourself before dying.

The NYT piece is about South Korea using AI care calls to check in on older adults living alone. The example that stuck with me: a senior was too sick to talk when the AI called, the system flagged a social worker, and she ended up getting urgent medical help in time.

This seems easier and simpler than the companion-robot angle everyone fixates on. AI can make sure someone feels cared for/noticed.

Genuinely curious how you all think about it though: would regular check-in calls (using AI voices) for an older parent feel helpful, intrusive, or only useful in certain situations? And what would actually make you trust or distrust a service like this?

When i was young I could pack a weekend getaway bag in under 15 minutes. Throw together some clothes and youre off! Now? I need so much just to exist. Did i get the eye drops for my dry eyes? Did i get enough poise pads for the stress incontinence im in physical therapy for? Do I have sweaters, hoodies, t shirts, tanks, jackets, bralettes? Because I need it all for the cold/hot flashes. The weather is inconsequential. Did I pack all my medications and supplements? It goes on and on and on. This is it. Its official. Im now old.

Disability is a bitch. Chronic pain is a bitch. Loneliness and depression are two of the biggest factors. I have been a burden to my family for many years now.

F 57, M 65, M 17

Married 20 years, 2 independent adult sons, and a teenager ( a really good kid overall, not spoiled, honor student etc., but prone to outbursts) at home.
Bipolar but stable for years.
Shattered my ankle two months ago and immediately learned how much I was taken for granted by my husband and son. They were mad about the disruption to their routine. Mad about having to cook. Fed me soup and cheese & crackers for days until I lost my shit and smashed a plate. No treats, no Starbucks, no candy bar, no Culver’s for 2 weeks after my injury, until a family friend shamed them by bringing over a couple cases of Vernors for me.
Husband yelled at me for “causing” complications with my injury. Sulked about having to care for the dogs. Teenager went ballistic when I tried to explain how to cook salmon. In fact, multiple freakouts and abusive episodes over having to make food for me. At one point, 2 weeks after my injury, I asked my husband (who lives separately, for reasons) to please take the teenager til the end of the school year. (Weeks). I told him I was being abused. He ignored me. I begged again a few days later. I was ignored again. A couple days ago I pleaded, for the third time, and was ignored.

So I have quit my family, and it’s permanent. I will never forgive this level of mistreatment and my therapist backs me up 100%. Shopping and cooking? Done with it. Pot roast, gingerbread, homemade chicken soup and cherry pie? Pans went into the garbage. Laundry piled 3 feet high? Good luck with that. I have the laying hens listed for sale as I type this. Fresh eggs are all over now. Conversation? Over. Fake hugs after being screamed at? Please! I have told them that when the dogs are gone, I’m gone. They are walking around with baffled looks on their faces. Wifeing and mothering is done. Anyone else? Edit- this would not post in the Relationships sub, not sure why. Since this issue relates to an older woman who is indeed aging, I thought to post it here.

turning 47 and worrying about to my job, feeling lost and still got mortgage to pay. Seems hard to learn and bad memory nowadays.

Going thru pre menopause .. how to keep positive

Sigh….

Getting wrinkles, back problems, sore joints, hypertension, blood sugar problems, headaches, tiredness, thinning hair, gray hair, vision problems like cateracts and blurry vision. Dealing with retirement decisions on healthcare and paying bills and having enough money for medications and food. Having energy to do all your chores and cooking healthy meals and going to your Doctor for annual visits. Dealing with memory problems and arthritis too. Family decisions and worrying about kids future and if they will make it ok without you there some day. Keeping up with maintenance on your home. Cognitive problems, menopause too. Join our conversation please.🥰😃😍🙂😉😗😁😘🤣🙃🤩😊😍

I’m in an age gap relationship. I’m 45, and he turns 68 today. I’m starting to get terrified of his aging. He had stents put in his heart about 4 years ago. For anyone here dealing with coronary artery disease, how do you stay as healthy as possible?

If you could do only ONE thing for your brain health, make it exercise.

Not supplements. Not puzzles. Not “brain games.”

Exercise.

Why? Because it works across nearly every major pathway linked to brain aging:

* Increases BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor), supporting neuroplasticity and learning
* Improves cerebral blood flow and vascular health
* Enhances insulin sensitivity and metabolic function
* Improves sleep quality and stress regulation
* Reduces inflammation
* Associated with lower dementia risk and slower cognitive decline

The target is not perfection:

• 150 min/week moderate aerobic activity OR
• 75 min vigorous activity
PLUS resistance training 2x/week

Even walking matters.

Your brain was built to move. Movement is medicine for the nervous system.

I am in my 70s living alone as wife passed away couple of years ago. My routine is all messed up. I am retired. I have been eating dinner earlier and earlier. As early as 1230pm to 100 pm falling asleep 500pm even 430pm once. Waking up around midnight / Going for a 3-mile walk. I want somehow to try to stay up later, wake up later. I still want to walk at least hour before sunrise as its cooler and out of the sun. I live in Hawaii. Anybody have any suggestions? Thanks

i had to pull together information for something unrelated recently and it made me realize how much of our household only works because i’m the one holding the context. bills, insurance, random subscriptions, important contacts, renewal timelines. none of it is impossible to find, but another person would have to piece it together while already stressed. it made me realize being organized and being understandable to someone else are very different things. how do people reduce that kind of mental load without turning life into a giant admin project?

Ok so i hit fourty in february. I came to a conclusion today. I have certain items where i have a favorite. I have a favorite ball cap i wear everyday outside of work and I have several but my brown cap is my favorite no idea why it just is. I have a favorite recliner that I use every evening and in the mornings. Although I have several i have one specific coffee mug I use every day. In my thirties this was not a thought. Now that ive hit fourty certain items they're my items. I remember my grandpa having his chair..his mug..stuff like that and I didnt think anything of it. Now..I get it. A few other items of that nature. Anyone else run into this or is just me. The whole idea seemed stupid when I was younger but now..it makes sense..

I realized a few years back, at 58, that my squishy middle wasn't ever going away. Jeans, trousers, shorts (even athletic), kilts, they dug in uncomfortably and required constant adjustment. Time for a fashion reassessment.

Gentlemen of a certain shape, let me introduce you to the wonders of pregnant woman's yoga pants.

I'm a big guy, but they go up to 5x and 6x. I went with 3x and they're perfect. Capri length, stops between my knee and ankle. Not tight (don't want to show off my junk), but not baggy; as a guy with a thick waist, most pants (especially shorts) flap around like a skirt or dress and get in the way. These are sleek, comfy, and create a nice silhouette. They have two deep front pockets which carry my phone and keys just fine.

But it's the frickin' waistband, OMG. In the front it's 5, 6 inches wide and comes well up over my... well I really don't have a "belly" but let's say "my squishy middle." And damn, so comfy!

I got rid of *all* of my pants and bought 12 pairs of these, mostly black. My wife was concerned and found some Lee stretch skinnie jeans which are okay, but they still pinch my waist.

Still, if it's a formal occasion (typically related to her job) I will put on jeans and nice close-toed sandals. But anything more formal than that, I don't bother attending. I don't need any of that shit.

The only possible thing I will dress up for again is my dad's funeral (not anytime soon, but I do suspect I'll outlive him). I respect him enough that I'll dress up for him.

Otherwise pants, shoes? Nah, done with them.