I've been using the app for over a year and I want to delete all progress to start from 0. I saw some old threads saying there's a feature but I can't find it in the app, only the Delete account but I have Pro so idk if I'll lose it
I'm 20 years old and in psychiatric treatment since 12 years old
I dropped out of school bc after my autism diagnosis they didn't want me there, and I isolated myself so much I went 5 years without talking to anyone except family and my therapist, I have no friends, no activities, nothing.. I tried texting my old middle school friends once but they stopped texting back and I realized it was dumb anyways bc I mean nothing to them anymore, they all went on with their lives but I didn't.....
I feel so stupid, I did this to myself, it's all my fault bc I've never told anybody really how bad it is, I always lie when the doctor asks the depression questions bc I don't know how to tell them and I don't want to make my family worried more than I've already have
I'm trapped in all this forever, my life will be like this forever. What can I do if I can't even go outside alone..
I was diagnosed at 12 by a child psychiatrist but that was after a dozen teachers/psychologists had already suggested it so I already knew what they would ask... I always felt like I was lying in the interview, just giving the right answers I knew that would finally get me diagnosed with something because my school was desperate to know what was happening to me bc I didn't want to go to school anymore (and they kicked me out after the diagnosis anyways)...
I've never been truly honest with any of the doctors and therapists I've seen, I just keep lying to them when they ask the typical "depression" questions and tell them I'm fine, bc I know I'd break right there if I tell anybody the truth of how bad it has been these last 7-ish years
I'm also afraid of developing worse things or losing my mind but my parents think I'm better bc of the antidepressants that don't let me feel anything anymore, I couldn't even cry when my dog was dead in front of me...
Having a psychiatric disability card makes me feel wrong about myself too... I'm so confused about all this
I'm 20 and I've never gone outside of my house by myself... My family thinks I love being inside 90% of the time but I don't, not anymore, and I know it's kind of my fault because it was my choice when I was 13, depressed and burnout, I stopped going to school and socially isolated myself, being here was comfortable and peaceful to a certain point, but I don't want to be like this forever and my family doesn't realize that, I don't know how to tell them either
I do want to go outside and maybe just play with my dogs in the woods as a start, I know I shouldn't depend on my parents to take me outside once a week and they want me to be independent because they're getting old, but they never taught me how... There's a lot of reasons why I haven't tried to go outside, fears and anxiety, like all the bad people and bad things that could happen, but maybe the rest of them are just in my head and they aren't real...
I've already lost so much time and opportunities, I regret a lot. I just keep postponing change, ignoring my own feelings, distracting myself with my phone, and pretending like I'm okay with my life
I'm 20 and I've never gone outside of my house by myself... My family thinks I love being inside 90% of the time but I don't, not anymore, and I know it's kind of my fault because it was my choice when I was 13, depressed and burnout, I stopped going to school and socially isolated myself, being here was comfortable and peaceful to a certain point, but I don't want to be like this forever and my family doesn't realize that, I don't know how to tell them either
I do want to go outside and maybe just play with my dogs in the woods as a start, I know I shouldn't depend on my parents to take me outside once a week and they want me to be independent because they're getting old, but they never taught me how... There's a lot of reasons why I haven't tried to go outside, fears and anxiety, like all the bad people and bad things that could happen, but maybe the rest of them are just in my head and they aren't real...
I've already lost so much time and opportunities, I regret a lot. I just keep postponing change, ignoring my own feelings, distracting myself with my phone, and pretending like I'm happy with my life.
I'm so disappointed in myself and sometimes i just want to break my phone to stop all this... I started using PCs and phones when I was just 4, now I'm 20 and can't believe it, today I thought how dumb it is to have spent my whole life in front of screens, there's so much more to life, so many things I missed out...
It's sad to admit but I'm sure it has also affected my mental development and health, my habits are horrible and I have no sense of self care because of my phone time use.
Last night i dreamed that it was already 2040 and that I hadn't even realized because I spent so much time on my phone, it was a nightmare really, and I think it's already happening to me, I barely remember the years 2020 to 2023...
My parents and older siblings are all addicted to their phones, maybe worse than me, it brings me down that I'm the only one trying to get out of it...
I don't want my life to be like this
Im 19 years old... I don't want to keep living like this.. my mother is an abusive narcissist who performs as the perfect mother and woman for everyone but she's the opposite in private, my dad is a doormat controlled by her and always sides with her otherwise she would kick him out and worse...
I have been going to a mental health center since I was 12, but I don't tell my therapist much about how I feel really because my parents get mad if I tell too much about our problems, and sometimes they threaten to stop taking me there, and my therapist wouldn't understand or take me seriously either bc she likes my parents a lot...
I'm tired of all this but I don't have any way to change it, I'm autistic I can't even go outside alone because I'm too shy, my older siblings are neurodivergent too and they do nothing for their lives, no hobbies, no friends, no jobs... I don't want to be like them, I don't want my life to be like this, I've already lost so much time...
(20F) I don't do anything all day, I have nothing to do except cleaning my room which I barely do anymore because I got tired of doing the same thing every day. Im autistic but I wish I didn't get diagnosed because my life completely changed when it happened, I got excluded from school because of it, the principal told my parents to send me to a special school (that doesn't grant highschool diplomas) instead because her school was for future professionals even though I was top 3 in my class and had already won national awards in literature... so I dropped out at 14 and did government exams instead, it was during the pandemic so I guess i was isolated just as everyone else back then, but I never came out of it.
I'm 20 now and I don't have any friends, I don't go outside alone bc I'm scared and don't have anywhere to go, I've tried contacting my old friends but they just leave me in "seen", which now I understand it was dumb to text them because they all moved on with their lifes while I didn't, I don't mean anything to them anymore, they all left town to go to university, while I couldn't even tho I got accepted into the best university there..
All I do is be on my phone... Just scroll and scroll or play some games. I feel so dumb to be wasting my life like this, but I just can't escape it, I've tried everything to overcome my phone addiction, I can't talk to anybody about it either, my parents don't realize my issue and that I'm fcking depressed because I'm on antidepressants but instead of sad I feel just empty now, they just think I'm lazy...
Why couldn't I just be normal...