u/MetalSnake-Gemini

Hi y'all! My fiancé and I are currently planning our early 2028 wedding, and I have no idea what I'm doing lol.

We want to get married on the Big Island (born & raised there), but genuinely don't know how to budget this out. I want to keep all wedding expenses to come under $25k, for about 110 guests (I have a huge Polynesian family), but I've been told that I'm having too high of hopes.

My fiancé and I will be paying for everything. We were both raised by single moms who don't have extra pocket change to pitch in (which I would never expect them to do). And I just don't want to go into debt over this.

I'm the first in my family to have a wedding, so I don't really have anyone close to get advice from.

Is $25k too low? Any tips & tricks to keep the expenses as low as possible? Or should I just be budgeting for this thing to cost an arm and a leg?

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This is probably the craziest thing to ever happen to me, and I don't even know where to begin..

I (25F) worked as an admin assistant at an engineering company for a little over two years. In my last 9-ish months, we hired a new office manager (37F) who was in our state on a short-term basis because her husband was in the military. For the sake of the story, we'll call her Kaitlyn.

Because her name is Kaitlyn and I HOPE she sees this.

During the beginning of Kaitlyn and I's professional relationship, I genuienly thought she was a cool person. We worked closely together on a day-to-day basis, and during our "office errand runs", she'd take me out to lunch or grab me a coffee before stopping by her home to hang out with her kids. Again, she was giving cool mom, super nice lady, hilarious, and easy to be around. I never caught any hints that she was an actual psycho.

3 months ago, Kaitlyn came into our shared office to let me know that her family is getting sent back to her home state because of her husband's deployment or something (I'm not super knowledgeable in military lifestyle and have no idea how long they get sent to places. I digress). And because of that, she got a WFH position as a Hiring Manager with the third-party hiring company that helps our company find new employees. I was sad to hear that she was leaving, but excited that she was able to get another job that allowed her to be a stay-at-home mom.

A few weeks pass, Kaitlyn gave her 2 weeks' notice, and suggests that I apply for the new admin assistant position they posted. The pay would be a few bucks more than I was currently getting, and it was a WFH position. She explained that the position would work directly under her, and it opened because they just hired her, and a Hiring Manager always gets an admin assistant under them. Now this wasn't odd to me in any way. I worked closely with this hiring company and knew how their chain of command worked since I communicated with most of them when we originally were hiring Kaitlyn. What should have raised a red flag was when I didn't see an actual job posting. But, I had no reason not to trust Kaitlyn.

I email my resume to Kaitlyn's email under the hiring company and she let me know that she'll send a follow-up with an interview invite. We go through the whole process; I email her my availability (the following week at my lunch time), and we jump on a Zoom call with her colleague. At the end of that week, she sends me an email officially offering me the position and I feel so grateful to her. Now this is where shit hits the fan.

Once I get the "official offer", I turn in my 2 weeks' and spend the rest of my time at the engineer company preparing them for my replacement and helping them find somone. About a day or two before my last day, I emailed Kaitlyn to ask her about my first day instructions. The "official offer" stated I would be starting the following Monday, but I just wanted to know if I needed to show up to their main office or jump on a Zoom with someone specific, just any detail to help me get started. The work day ended and I didn't hear back from her so I sent her a text. And another text. And another text, but that bubble turns green (we both have iPhones so our iMessage convo was always blue).

Friday rolls around, my last day, and I'm getting a little worried because I haven't heard from Kaitlyn. There wasn't any thought in my head that she ghosted me, I was more worried about her well-being. But, I needed to know how my first day at this new job was supposed to look, so I reached out to my usual point of contact, we'll call her L, at the hiring company. Within 15 minutes, she sends a follow-up email with the subject "Call Me ASAP."

I instantly ring L's office phone and she immediately lets me her that her boss is in the room and I'm on speaker phone. I tell her that that's fine, and she asks me to explain my situation from the beginning. So, I do. Once I'm finished talking, I hear L's boss take a deep breath before saying, "Kaitlyn no longer works for us, and the position she offered you does not exist."

Apparently, Kaitlyn got fired from the hiring company after her first week because she and her colleague (who actually wasn't a colleague but a friend) were advertising to numerous people about positions that don't exist. L didn't know that I was one of them because it probably got jumbled up with the dozens of emails I've sent to that company regarding hiring for the engineering company I was working at.

No one could get in touch with Kaitlyn. She blocked our numbers, deleted her instagram, and basically disappeared. I have no idea what she gained from her little fucked up scheme or why she ever thought it was a good idea to fool people like that.

I ended up calling my old boss at the engineering company yesterday to explain what happened, but he regretfully told me that, since they had hired my replacement, there is no open position for me there. Which I completely understood. I didn't plan to beg for my old job back; I just needed to let them know that they're so lucky her psycho ass didn't work for them anymore.

So, now I'm job hunting and quite literally fuming every time I think about it. Which sucks, because living in my state is so incredibly expensive.

And Kaitlyn, if this post ever finds you, somehow, I hope your husband is still cheating on you.

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This is my first post on Reddit, so please excuse any excess information or improper format lol.

So I (24 F) have been with my boyfriend (26 M) for about 3 years now. We originally met in high school and dated on and off, but didn't start "seriously" dating until I graduated from college. I moved away for college after finding out he had cheated on me throughout our high school relationship. I know, I know. I should have left him in the dust then, but we rekindled when I got home after college, and he seemed to have matured a lot in the meantime.

About a year ago, I started to receive unsolicited dick pictures on Instagram from an account with random letters as its username. My account is private, but sometimes I go through the request message to see if I'm somehow missing someone I know reaching out to me. Initially, I just ignored it because, to be honest (and I'm sure lots of women can relate), it wasn't the first time I received that type of DM. After blocking that account and deleting the message, I got another DM a month later with the same pic, from the same account, saying some dumb shit like, "I know you want this." And maybe I shouldn't have done this next part, but I did respond with "I've seen bigger" and blocked that account too.

Over the course of a year, I blocked over a dozen accounts. And for every other message, I would respond with a dumbass snarky remark about how small the dick was or how ugly it looked. Again, I could have been the bigger person and not responded at all. But jesus christ, it was pissing me off.

After a few months of this happening, I told my boyfriend about the dick pics, but realized I didn't really have "proof" since I've been deleting them and blocking the accounts. At first, he was a bit quiet, then said, "oh so you're just getting dick pics behind my back." His tone was a bit jokey, but I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. The conversation died as quickly as it started, with him telling me, "It's not that big of a deal," and "It'll most likely stop soon."

I chose to believe that. Because it SHOULD have ended soon. But, it didn't.

Fast forward to two days ago, the dick pics didn't stop. A few days ago, I got another one from yet another randomized username account. I didn't see it until I got back to my apartment from work (I keep my phone on DND and have had my Insta notifications silenced because of this whole thing). I opened it and chose not to delete it so I could add it to a folder I created for proof to report it, courtesy of my sister's advice.

After taking a screenshot of the message, my boyfriend came over for dinner, so I put my phone down to spend time with him. During our meal, I decided to bring the topic up because I started to feel pretty worried about whether this person could potentially be a stalker or something.

I don't know if it was because I had a long day at work or because I was so fucking tired of this constant harassment, but I opened the DM to show my boyfriend and drafted up a message: "Yo, this has got to stop. This genuinely cannot be how you chose to spend your free time."

My boyfriend, who was giving off disinterested vibes, told me it wasn't worth it to respond and that all I was doing was feeding into this person's delusions. Which he was completely right on, but I was just upset and tired.

So I pressed send. And his phone pinged.

For a few seconds, I kind of just stared at his phone and the small Instagram logo, thinking it was just some crazy coincidence. But for the off chance that it wasn't, I sprang at his phone and ran to my bathroom. Locking the door behind me, I unlocked his phone and saw that the notification was, indeed, the message I had just sent to the anonymous account.

I'll save the details of my absolute crashout, which involved lots of yelling and slippers thrown but dodged.

Apparently, my boyfriend has been harassing me with this fucking accounts to "test my loyalty." He's been constantly sending me random dick pics and making numerous Instagram accounts to see if he'd catch me cheating on him?? He called me an asshole for getting this worked up over it, and I told him to get the fuck out of my apartment.

Since then, I've gotten a dozen messages from mutual friends telling me that I overreacted and should really hear him out. The number of people telling me I shouldn't have kicked him out is really making me second-guess myself. Maybe I did overreact? It was a dumbass excuse in my opinion, but maybe I didn't need to break up with him over it??

I don't know Reddit, was I overreacting? Sorry that this was so long. I just feel like I'm going crazy.