u/MiddleComplaint2072

I’ve been sober for 9 months. I haven’t really had any issues with committing to sobriety but recently I find myself struggling. I’ve been having dreams that I drank and waking up feeling guilty. I’ve also just been craving alcohol in a way that I never have before. I miss the feeling of being care free. I have found joy in sobriety too and it feels good not to be hung over on a fairly regular basis. I just wish there was something I could do that isn’t so addictive. Some encourage would be helpful. I’ve made it this far I’m not gonna relapse now but I just need a little support.

To all the BPs out there,

At what point did you feel you could trust your partner again? Was it time and consistency? Or something specific?

If you don’t have children and aren’t married what was the major deciding factor in choosing to stay? Were you influenced by social judgement at all?

What was the reconciliation process like for you emotionally? Can you walk me through your internal monologue?

When could you fully say you’ve committed back to your partner and you feel good about it?

Thank you in advance for your answers. WPs feel free to chime in with your experience as well.

I think my BP and I are on a good path. We’ve been texting almost every day and seeing eachother at least once a week. Having sex again. Slowly being more open about emotions with each other. They have said they want to take things day by day and haven’t necessarily defined what we are doing as “R” but that’s what it feels like. They say we are friends and I agree that we are rebuilding a friendship but we definitely aren’t just friends. Also I should add that we are still married although we currently live separately.

What are signs that a Leo is leaning toward reconciliation? I cheated on my husband 9 months ago and it was the worst choice I’ve ever made. I’ve been in therapy ever since and trying to show him with actions that I want him. I’ve also been sober since it happened because I realized I had an alcohol problem. I haven’t had contact with the person I cheated with ever again and don’t want to.

Within the last couple months my husband and I started seeing each other again. He’s come over to my new place for dinner, we’ve gone to the beach together, he spent my birthday with me. He slept over for the first time since we separated last week and then we hung out again the next night. We are having sex again and he says he has feelings but just wants to protect them. He has not committed back to me but we text almost every day. Neither of us have filed for divorce although it’s been threatened.

He keeps saying he just wants to take things day by day and that “we’re friends”. He told me he feels safer having sex with than anybody else and he said he’s not seeing anyone else.

I know I deeply hurt him so I understand if he needs to take things slowly. I was just wondering if any other male Leo’s could maybe give me their perspective and what would make them feel wanted and loved again.

Pretty much just what the title says. It’s a really big milestone for us. It’s been 8 months since we separated.

My BP came over the other night last minute. We had a bit of flirtation over text that led them to ask to come over. We had sex and maybe this is tmi but we also did anal. It’s something we had done before but it was the first time we had ever done it since I’ve gotten sober. Afterward I asked if they were gonna stay the night and they said “should I?” And I said yes. It felt so good to sleep next to them again. We cuddled to sleep and in the morning we kissed and cuddled some more. They asked me “how are you feeling?” And I said good and I asked them back and they also said good. I made us some coffee and we talked a bit and I walked them to their car and they pulled me in for a kiss goodbye. All of it felt like a dream. I couldn’t believe it was happening and I’m just so grateful.

A trigger did come up while they were over though and I can’t stop overthinking it. I had a condom and some lube in my side table and they asked if I was seeing someone else. I am not and told them that. The side table is very old. I rarely open the drawer and I didn’t know that stuff was still in there. I looked at the dates and they expired years ago. They said as long as I’m telling the truth it’s fine. I just felt horrible and I know I told the truth but I know that they probably weren’t as fine as they said they were. I threw away all the stuff today but now I fear they will open the drawer again and wonder why it’s gone.

We’re supposed to hang out again tonight. We are obviously on good terms. I know that triggers are gonna come up and that it’s how I handle them that matters most. I’m just in a very vulnerable position and really don’t want to lose them again. We haven’t even defined what we’re doing yet.

I think something I’ve been contemplating a lot is what R looks like. I feel like there could be so many different definitions and I sometimes I feel like focusing too much on the outcome is inauthentic to the actual process.

I feel like my BP and I are in R but we’re not technically in a romantic relationship right now. We’re still married but I moved out after dday2. It’s been 8 months and so much has changed. We’re rebuilding trust through friendship but it’s deeper than that because we obviously have a history. We text about what’s going on in our lives and support eachother through action. They’ve helped me with my car troubles numerous times. They called me and stayed on the phone while I was having a panic attack about having to take my cat to the vet and didn’t know where to turn. I’ve supported them emotionally through their job transition. They also texted me today and told me about how their journey with quitting tobacco is going. I’m so proud of them. We’ve been seeing eachother pretty regularly. Seems like once every week or two but staying connected in between. Things have stopped feeling so heavy between us. We’ve had sex a few times within the past couple months but I think that added an unspoken layer of pressure of what that means and how it defines things. So they seem to be keeping intimacy at a minimum now. We still hug and casually flirt but I’m not sure when they will want more than that. We still have a lot to work through but I think that will come up in time when they are ready to process it.

I still get in my head sometimes and have fears but much less than before. I trust that if I don’t text them first they will reach out to me or that if we don’t talk for a couple days it doesn’t mean they’re pulling away completely. I like that we’re both trying. The love and care is still there. I’m honestly so grateful for their forgiveness. I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve it but the truth is that I have put in the work and it’s really not up to me to decide whether I’m worthy or not.

I think I’m just venting but also looking for support at the same time. If anyone cares to share their story of R I’m here to listen.

Why would a Leo man still stick around after their trust has been betrayed? We’re not back together but we talk every day and still hang out. It’s been 8 months since we separated and they say they want to take things day by day. Does that mean I have a chance or are they letting me down easy? I am a Taurus woman btw.

Does anyone feel like marriage was the wrong choice for you personally but you don’t regret the relationship? My husband and I talked about not getting married and not having kids yet somehow we found ourselves eloped last year. It was of course out of love and passion but it put an unspoken pressure on the relationship for both of us. We are separated due to my infidelity 8 months ago. I have done a lot of work on myself since we separated, in IC and other avenues. I’m grateful my husband has forgiven me. He didn’t deserve what I put him through but I do believe we might have gotten divorced regardless of my actions. We aren’t quite back together but we are working on our relationship now and communicating regularly. We plan to get divorced although the process isn’t started yet. I think we are figuring out what our relationship looks like outside of a marriage and what that would look like to be together because we wanted to and not because of a certain label. Anyone else in a similar position?