AITA for not wanting to game with someone who completely tanked our board game night?
I just moved into a new town and recently started a weekly board game meetup. i hosted the first game night with three other players, and overall it went great, except for one guy who basically ruined the experience.
I taught them Lost Ruins of Arnak, a mid-weight game that I've successfully introduced to other players without major issues. The first two players picked it up pretty well from my explanation. They played at a reasonable pace, and when they had questions, they checked the player overview sheet I provided, which literally summarizes 90% of the game mechanics.
The third guy? Jesus.
- Didn't look at the overview sheet ONCE, even when I directly pointed out it had answers to his questions
- Didn't take a single action on his own the entire game, just asked what he should do
- We had to remind him it was his turn every single time
- His turns took forever
- Until the literal last move, he didn't understand basic stuff like the difference between the draw pile, playing area, and exile pile
- Didn't understand a single game effect (like, "you draw an additional card" completely baffled him)
- He'd ask the same question multiple times, and we'd re-explain it, just for him to ask again 5 minutes later
- The game took 5 HOURS. I didn't even need that much time for introducing players to Ark Nova?!
- This guy alone added like 2+ hours.
- Zero self-awareness. No shame. Not even frustration. Nothing.
What really gets me: he's a second-year computer science student. I get that not everyone loves strategy games, but this is basic logical thinking. It shouldn't be this hard to learn a medium-weight game.
On the plus side, the other two players (and I) actually vibed as a group and want to meet up again. We're talking about doing another game night soon. The guy who tanked the experience was actually pretty chill and funny outside the game context, so it's not like he's a bad person or socially awkward.
So here's my dilemma: How do I handle the next meetup?
I don't want to be an asshole and exclude him, but I genuinely cannot sit through another 5-hour nightmare staying patient. The other players are clearly ready to play another round of Arnak or to move on to a heavier game and adding him again feels like it would ruin what could be a really cool regular group.
Am I being unreasonable? Is there a better way to handle this?
Edit: Since most ask why I even selected Arnak for a beginner: He arrived unannounced and an hour late to the start of the board game event, which was specifically about heavy euro games. By that time, we had already selected a game based on the experiences and preferences of the players who were present, and we'd set it up. When he showed up, I had to make a quick decision about whether to include him. After he mentioned he had no board game experience, I definitely should not have let him join, that's on me! But I was worried the other two players would judge me for excluding him...
