u/MidwestFaerie

I have 4 kids. 17,11,10, and 7(8 next month). This doesn't have to do with my 17 year old majority of her friends and including herself are LGBTQ+. I don't allow the word "hate" in my house. You are not allowed to say you hate someone unless they have really really hurt you. I have raised my kids to think hate as a noun or a verb is one of the worst things you can say/do/be. I was in the car and my phone connected to the speaker. My podcast started playing and the one host joked that the other host said something so dumb she was now homophobic(she is straight he is gay, they both come from Broadway she is 100% not homophobic). My 10 year old asked me what that word meant so I told her the truth. My 3 kids laughed at me and said "ok ok what does it really mean". They straight up don't believe me that anyone could be homophobic or transphobic. They can't wrap their minds around someone hating someone or a group of people for something that seems so silly to them. I tried to explain how people get that way and I brought up religion (we don't go to church but my youngest somehow is very religious in a way he loves Jesus a lot) my youngest piped up and said that can't be truthful because Jesus loves everyone. I explained that some people think it's a mental illness which my youngest said that can't be true because mental illness has to do with your brain and who you choose to love has to do with your heart. When my daughter asked what trans was I explained. She started crying saying if she woke up and was in her brother's body she would be miserable because she loves being a girl. I explained further how you transition and she got so happy and thankful that if you are trans you can be exactly who you are and she thinks that's amazing. It's been over a year since this initial convo and they still make fun of me and mock me for trying to make them understand there are people out there who hate others for just being who they are. I'm proud they are so progressive but I'm worried that they aren't getting a clear picture of the types of people they will run into when they get older. We do live in small town Indiana and my in laws are very conservative, however my daughter has a different dad and he is super progressive and her uncle is also gay although she doesn't know, he hasn't told her and that's definitely not my place to tell her.

How do you guys handle these topics? My kids are all mixed black and white and they understand racism,sexism all that but they just think homophobia and transphobia are completely made up. I want them to know that hate exists so when they see it happening they can speak up and help or protect the person who is being harassed.

This is my first time ever using Reddit so hopefully I tell this story correctly. I told the story at a party and someone said you guys would enjoy it so here it goes.

I(37f) 13 years ago was visiting my grandma in her nursing home. She was born in 1928 grew up in Chicago( her dad and uncle worked for Capone but that's another story.) and never lived more than 100 miles from there. She's a true Midwest grandma, never missed church, never drank, always had unhinged advice. Anyways, during this visit we were in the cafeteria for dinner and I was texting my friend from my iPhone. "Is that an iPod?" My grandma asked. I was proud of her for knowing what apple products were and not just a fruit. I explained what an iPhone and smartphones were and she was fascinated! I then explained Google..."it's so awesome grandma I can see anything in the world in seconds! I'll show you! Tell me what you want to see and I can show you anything." "Anything??" My grandma asks, "yes! Just tell me what you want to see. Anything in the world." My grandma got quiet, looked around the dining room and leaned in close with her answer. "A nude male!!". I was shocked! I explained I couldn't do that and I ended up posting her senior picture to Facebook and told her she was now immortal. She passed away 6 weeks later. That was 13 years ago and to this day I still wish I just searched what she wanted and let her scroll into oblivion. My wise words to you today are when your grandma is in her last weeks of life and hasn't seen a man in over 30 years, just show her what she wants.

TL;DR My grandma asked me to show her naked men when she learned what Google was. I regret not showing her.