My daughter now hates my partner and is starting to hate me
I've (42f) been in a relationship for 9 years now with my partner (38m), living together for 6 years. We started when my daughter was 13yo (now she's 22 and goes to college), and this is my only serious-introducing - to - your - kid relationship after her father. As we started to blend as a family, everything was fun and nice, and kept being like that except when we took family vacations and after 2 weeks they started to clash. This happened three times in three different vacations. It happens that when my partner gets angry he can't seem to control his voice or his manners, but he never yells personal insults as a result of this (like calling us bad words or saying we're useless) he just yells. But yells high.
Well, a couple of days ago they had one of this clashes, after our cat woke us up crying while my daughter was watching TV on our living room. Something about she telling earlier that she would take care of the cat or whatever. Apparently she didn't and my partner woke up angry about this and yelled.
So, my daughter got mad about this. The days after that she's been crying, and fighting with me about this, even though I talked to him about this not being appropriate. She doesn't care, she says that our family is over and that she would like me to break up with my partner. And apparently everything I've should have done, I didn't do it (you didn't came for me, you didn't hug me, etc)
I must say that I have spoiled my daughter, because I grew up neither with money or feeling loved by my parents, and now we have a nice life. Or i thought we had.
I don't know how I'm feeling. I think she's unfair with us: my partner has always been there for her and his family has welcomed us. I have given her everything i could give her, but she's 22, she's going to finish school and live her life, she can't pretend i break up with my partner just because she doesn't like him anymore.
I also i feel like i failed as a mom. I had only one job and failed.